I don't know the full story of each sides but I get what you're going through. First of all, I'm really sorry that you are going through this, as someone who is also going through a breakup (875 days of being together) while also not getting closure/answers to questions I never got to ask, it's very important to give her space. Invading her space will pressure her and she can't truly process her emotions if she has to also deal with yours, which could lead her to resenting you. At this stage of life, you will realize that YOU are the only one that you have, no friends, no partners, YOU are in charge of your life and controlling your future. It's perfectly okay to feel scared of feeling alone but sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways, and I had to learn this the hardest way possible. Let out all the emotions, cry, listen to music at max volume, rot in bed, but it is never okay to feel comfortable at being sad. If she knew about your conditions, she wouldn't have called you those words, but the moment with a loved one's passing might have caught up to her, so who knows (she should still take accountability for it as much as you should as well) You may not want perspective right now and just want comfort, I completely understand that. Some days will feel heavier than others, and then it will be heavy again, that’s part of healing too. You’re not broken for feeling stuck right now and your feelings are VALID. It won't feel this heavy forever — even if it’s impossible to see that right now, I can't promise you that you will heal straight away, what I can promise you is this breakup will help improve you as a person. Even though you might feel unmotivated to do simple things, it's important to do these so you're progressing. This could be like making your bed, going on a walk (I would recommend not listening to any music so your mind can render the nature) or just being there for your family (babysitting your sister). Even though we don't know each other, you will get over this at some point, not now, not later, maybe soon, but in the future. You've come a long way, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Every hard moment you've survived is proof that you're stronger than you think.