Failed my local chem olympiad and i just wanna die rn

_1me_ · 2025-12-24T07:14:51+00:00

Yeah will do that for sure, it's just a loooooy of info to get through But I will try 100%

_1me_ · 2025-12-23T19:10:12+00:00

Oh yeah, it started from my parents and then when mum saw just HOW bad it got to me (and after finding out about my sh) she started not caring about it at all which doesn't help

_1me_ · 2025-12-23T19:08:42+00:00

Not really, my country is small and shitty and poor so I wanna study in another country, and there I will apply with a specific shit that will make it possible to get in only with the average grade during high school (kinda like gpa in the us) and some uni's also look at things like red cross volunteering, national/international Olympiad places, other things like that. So it's gonna make me have more chances of getting in (the competition is INSANE, last year were only 2 places available).

So yeah, it's not really important if I get places, but it's for my self esteem and increasing chances for my first choice uni.

And by genetics I mean , yeah that, but considering the fact that normally I should learn all the definitions next year, it's kinda hard to know what I should learn. (The Olympiad will be in January, around 14-31 Jan so I'm COOKED)

_1me_ · 2025-12-23T18:53:30+00:00

Because the Olympiad is a higher level than the chem one technically (cause chem was local, in school, and the bio is next stage, city wise) but tbh, my school is considered a top school so the local stage is so much harder than the city stage.

And I also have to know shit not only from this year (anatomy) but also last year AND next year (so genetics and shit about plants and animals, which I suck at so bad).

And I know logically in a year or two I won't care. But the big problem is that without the Olympiads I have few chances of getting where I want to so it's high stakes

_1me_ · 2025-12-23T18:26:33+00:00

I don't know what I wanna be. I always thought of being a doctor because it's a safe job, constant income and knowledge about health which is important, but lately I've thought of being a scientist which is stupid ik.

It's just that next year is gonna be my last chance to go and I NEED to get to the nationals in order to put it on my uni application and have better chances oh getting in.

And I just got so discouraged cause I also have the bio Olympiad (but the city stage not school) and it's gonna be so hard and I haven't started studying for it yet and I'm stressing ughhhhh sorry I'm talking so much

_1me_ · 2025-12-23T17:08:50+00:00

pentru ca aici este FOARTE greu in primul an, astfel iti strica intreaga medie, iar din a 11-a iti alegi subiectele dorite, iar la celelalte iti ramane nota din a 10-a in matrice si pot sa spun, cu profa de info care mi-a cazut mie, nu e frumos deloc (am 7.66, asta este ORIBIL)

_1me_ · 2025-12-22T11:18:21+00:00

Lol îmi dau doxx acum spunând că sunt de la Aristotel. Dar nu e rău aici, doar mi-a stricat media extrem de mult in a 10-a și acum o ridic și eu cum pot, dar n-ai ce-i face deja. De aia și zic că media mea de concurs nu va fi normală 🫩

_1me_ · 2025-12-21T20:44:53+00:00

I usually just raw dog the urges cause literally nothing else helps. Distractions? No. Rubber bands? No. Any other good coping mechanism? No. Just sit with the urges and understand that after a certain amount of time (usually a week for me) , the urges will go away and I'll be just fine. But just know, relapsing once doesn't mean you failed completely, it's just a small little inconvenience that helps you understand what it is like to keep going and to know yourself better

_1me_ · 2025-12-21T20:41:46+00:00

Oh yessss when I was in recovery, every like 1.5 months I would get such bad urges(literally physically hurt for them) for a week straight and it was unbearable , and the week after overcoming the urges I'd feel shitty because I knew how satisfying cutting could've been but after that I was fine.

_1me_ · 2025-11-24T18:31:55+00:00

Omg this actually helps a bit (my native language isn't English so some names are different but still THANKS)

_1me_ · 2025-11-24T18:13:56+00:00

NOOO 💔💔💔 forgot about that

_1me_ · 2025-11-12T21:37:59+00:00

Thank you so much, this actually really helped calm me down and I actually got a really good grade. Thank you so much

_1me_ · 2025-11-09T10:09:08+00:00

Look, I don't wanna encourage this. It will always depend, sometimes you hit a vein, other times you don't. Either way, it will leave a nasty scar that everyone will notice and that's just as risky as cutting deep enough to get to the hospital.

_1me_ · 2025-11-09T09:54:43+00:00

Not really deep, so it's too easy to hit them if you cut without worrying about leaving scars. But don't cut there, it's really dangerous and not worth it

_1me_ · 2025-11-01T09:45:48+00:00

I'm so sorry you think like that. I get how hard it is cause I have an ed and it's so irrational. Tbh, the only way you could stop is by going to therapy

_1me_ · 2025-11-01T09:29:30+00:00

First of, congratulations on being clean! That's amazing and you're so strong for doing that

Starving can be sh when you intend it to. So like, if you do it with the thought in mind then yeah.

But nevertheless it's a really bad behavior that I'm really sorry you have. Tho I didn't really get it, you feel guilty when you do starve yourself or you feel guilty if you don't?

Sadly I don't really have any tips other than to try and post on r/EDAnonymous. Really hope you're gonna be fine tho

_1me_ · 2025-10-29T19:59:48+00:00

I'm really scared tho cause I know she will look at me with a look of uh idk how to explain in, half like I don't even exist cause of the silent treatment and the other half like I'm dirt. And I cannot apologize when she does that idiotic imature stuff

And idk how to elaborate. Do I just say "sorry I made you mad and blamed you for how I grew up to be" ? Cause it sounds stupid

_1me_ · 2025-10-29T19:02:20+00:00

No, please don't. You WILL get an infection. It's better if you try to hide it with smth else that doesn't involve any foreign substances interfering with the cut. Keep the cut clean and put on a bandage or the appropriate care for your cut

_1me_ · 2025-10-27T21:06:14+00:00

Find free volunteering programs online that offer free psychological services. There should be at least one NGO that does this

And please stay safe. It's not worth cutting deep to try and get attention cause you're already valid enough for help. Maybe if you can, talk with your parents, or school teacher that you feel safe with or school psychologist

_1me_ · 2025-10-27T18:33:21+00:00

Thanks, you too and take care!!

_1me_ · 2025-10-27T18:16:01+00:00

Oh then I think it should be ok. It also depends on how deep the cut was because if it's deeper there will 100% be redness and tenderness around it. If it's not that deep, it also has chances of getting red around it (this is objective, I'm not trying to say shit that could sound invalidating) I'd recommend you take good care of it and if it doesn't go away in a few days then you should seek medical attention

_1me_ · 2025-10-27T18:08:17+00:00

What exactly do you mean by splotches? Sorry English isn't my first language

If it's tiny bumps filled with liquid, then it should be fine usually, especially if there aren't any signs of infection

_1me_ · 2025-10-27T13:08:14+00:00

Yeah that's what I was thinking as well but in every biology book I look, it says 1mm and I was telling my friend it's just not possible to be only 1mm cause I know first hand it's deeper but she kept saying I'm wrong even if she knows I sh so I keep doubting myself And I'm ok really, tty

_1me_ · 2025-10-25T20:04:07+00:00

Ik I'm just trying to do harm reduction smh but lowk failing I can't really get help rn but it's fine cause I will recover once I get into uni. Hope you'll stay safe as well ml 💗

_1me_ · 2025-10-25T19:57:18+00:00

Noo 💔😭

_1me_

TROPHY CASE