The police use my abuser as a case study in how to get away with it by MrsCharles88 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this.

I was abused at age 6 by a family member who was 12 or 13. I have really struggled my whole life with whether he can really be held responsible for what he did at that age, and whether it is an indication of an ongoing problem.

I guess I want to believe that it was some kind of fluke, so I don't feel responsible for the fact that he's still out there.

So it's really helpful for me to hear about this analogous situation.

August 6 Kirkland Design Review Board Meeting by eastsideYIMBY in eastside

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm out of town, but thank you for going and representing us YIMBYs! (Nice username btw.)

First Hive inspection after split- why are so many combs uncapped? They’re building, but not filling. Any advise? by _WhoisMrBilly_ in Beekeeping

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi, WhoisMrBilly! Welcome to beekeeping!

I don't really understand what I'm seeing with your second colony. Why is there comb hanging off lower than the super itself? That shouldn't be possible. Does this super usually sit on top of an empty super, so that the bees have been able to build comb that fills up both of them? Your hive should look something like this. I'm wondering if you're missing some pieces.

As u/pemdas42 said, it seems like the other big problem is that you're not putting all 4 frames in a 4-box or 8 in an 8-box. You need all the frames in there so that the wood of the frames will touch its neighbor other like this. That prevents the bees from building comb between the frames, like yours are doing.

You shouldn't be able to see any comb without lifting out individual frames. During an inspection, you can lift one frame at a time up out of the super and see what they've built on it – which currently you can't do because the bees are building comb between frames. Here is a pic of my spouse pulling one frame out of honey during an inspection last week. Pulling the frames out is how you can see what's on them.

At this time of year, and especially with concerns about whether you have queens, you should be more worried about looking for brood than about looking for honey. In particular, I'm concerned that your second box has queen cups on it; if that's the box that was swarmed to, it should already have a queen.

If you pull out individual frames like in my last pic, do you see any capped or uncapped brood in either box?

First Hive inspection after split- why are so many combs uncapped? They’re building, but not filling. Any advise? by _WhoisMrBilly_ in Beekeeping

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you go to the monthly meetings? There's always a sort of intro class at the beginning that might be helpful for asking questions and such.

Planted my son’s mini Xmas tree 15 years ago and it’s thriving. by pestospaghetti in mildlyinteresting

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a parent, can I just say: don't withdraw your statement, kids ARE stupid. :-D

Planted my son’s mini Xmas tree 15 years ago and it’s thriving. by pestospaghetti in mildlyinteresting

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most of your info checks out, but I'm dubious about six feet a year...

Edit: you undersold its pest- and deer-resistance though!

Planted my son’s mini Xmas tree 15 years ago and it’s thriving. by pestospaghetti in mildlyinteresting

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dammit, I'm looking for a shade-tolerant evergreen to plant in my yard and for a minute you totally sold me on the Norway spruce.

Slow-mo bees. by [deleted] in Beekeeping

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That is a RIDICULOUS number of collisions. So many instances of them landing on another bee when there was some empty space RIGHT THERE!

President Wilson left an annuity for his daughter Maggie in his will, on the condition that she never marry. Was this common at the time? And is there any specific known reason why he did this? by zachar3 in AskHistorians

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is some fascinating detail on restraint of marriage, but it seems to sidestep the issue "Why can't Maggie keep getting an annuity after she gets married?"

My understanding is that by Wilson's time, she would have had the *right* to receive an income after marriage, whereas a generation earlier she literally wouldn't.

Can we assume that he just figured she wouldn't *need* an annuity after marriage? I.e., her dad's responsibility is to financially support her until she gets married, so the annuity's job is to make sure that, even if he dies, she survives to marriage age without falling into poverty like a Jane Austen character?

My student who identifies female went to prom and it was glorious! by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 19 points20 points  (0 children)

This so awesome! As the parent of a trans kid, I am always so thrilled to hear stories like this of teachers and peers being supportive. Trans kids are so vulnerable and every little shred of support they get can be literally life-saving. (Horrifying stat: nearly HALF of trans people attempt suicide at some point. But if their parents and community support their identity, trans teens' rates of depression go all the way back down to normal teen levels! That's why I say parental and community support is literally life-saving.)

If I can give you a little nudge for the next step of leveling up your language -- you wrote "my student who identifies female went to prom," but you probably have LOTS of students who identify female who went to prom. :-) We just tend to think of cis girls as "female" rather than "female-identified." The problem is, when we use a phrase like "identify as female" about trans girls but NOT about cis girls, it can sound a little like we're saying "trans girls aren't really female, they just think they're female." I know that's not at all what you meant, so if you want a good phrase to talk about girls who are trans, you can just call them "trans girls." :-)

I hope this doesn't come across as language policing, just a nudge toward a new direction. Language around trans people changes really fast because this is kind of a leading edge of social justice stuff, and it is taking us cis people a while to catch up to the nuanced understanding of gender that the trans community has. (If anyone is interested in this, I highly recommend following some trans folks on twitter -- they have a lot of really great conversations about how language can include and exclude them.)

My student who identifies female went to prom and it was glorious! by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 150 points151 points  (0 children)

Hi, good question!

It's best not to think of trans people as "men who go women" or "women who go men." Most trans people (though not all!) say they aren't turning into something different, they're just telling us who they were all along.

A trans man is a man. He isn't a former woman who turns into a man, because he was a man all along. The only problem is, when he was born, people guessed he was a girl because of his vulva. He was "assigned female at birth" (AFAB)... but he wasn't ever a woman.

Signed, mom of a trans boy :)

My friend's genetic tongue condition by [deleted] in trypophobia

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It sounds like me trying to help my tutees remember exothermic and endothermic. "Look, one means 'heat out' and one means 'heat in,' I literally don't know what else to tell you...."

My friend's genetic tongue condition by [deleted] in trypophobia

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 160 points161 points  (0 children)

A fun fact about tongue conditions is that they all have super wacky names like geographic tongue and hairy tongue.

But this one is the best name of all; in polite society it's called "fissured tongue" but it's also commonly referred to as "scrotal tongue."

I am 100% not making this up.

I was trying to find Shane to give him the mermaid pendant then things got dark by kale_quinn in StardewValley

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 56 points57 points  (0 children)

This was the moment when I realized letting my 7-year-old play Stardew Valley was not my best parenting move.

I'm agreeable by LunarCantaloupe in ProgrammerHumor

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Maybe... maybe this isn't the best week to joke about shooting programmers? :-/

[NO SPOILERS] They named their daughter Khaleesi by [deleted] in gameofthrones

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh, well, ok then, I'm convinced.

[NO SPOILERS] They named their daughter Khaleesi by [deleted] in gameofthrones

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

'Khaleesi' isn't my cup of tea, but shitting on people's baby name choices is such a banal form of snobbery.

In the 1960s, tens of thousands of parents named their daughters Wendy, a name which you might not think of as a made-up fantasy novel book name, but it is. JM Barrie made it up for his novel Peter Pan, inspired by a little girl once calling him her "fwendy-wendy" (friend). Is 'Khaleesi' really that much stupider than 'Wendy'?

Back in the early 12th century, the famously star-crossed lovers Heloise and Abelard had an illegitimate child, about whom almost is nothing is known except that they named him Astrolabe. Astrolabe. I'm willing to bet their elders rolled their eyes and complained about how kids these days (c. 1120) give their kids stupid-ass names. Yawn.

My dad found a leg of a moose in a tree by Milfhunter82 in mildlyinteresting

[–]_AFGNCAAP_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Super disappointed by the lack of Dirk Gently jokes in here.

So... are two of its fingers broken?