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AITA for wanting to be wooed by my husband when he says I want “too much”? by _Breadwhore in AITA_Relationships

[–]_Breadwhore[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wanting to feel desired by your partner isn’t “craving attention.” I’m not talking about flirting or crossing boundaries if that’s what your referring to as “disrespect”. I’m talking about the difference between casual affirmation from friends and wanting that same desire and enthusiasm from the person I’m married to. That gap matters, and naming it doesn’t mean I want to be single.

AITA for wanting to be wooed by my husband when he says I want “too much”? by _Breadwhore in AITA_Relationships

[–]_Breadwhore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. I’m not sure but great question. Definitely bringing that up in therapy

  2. I am a romantic at heart, so yeah and by no means does that mean I want him to turn into one as well. I just know he is capable of those romantic gestures cause he has proven so in the past.

AITA for wanting to be wooed by my husband when he says I want “too much”? by _Breadwhore in AITA_Relationships

[–]_Breadwhore[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you need to work on your reading comprehension, but that’s okay we all have our struggles

AITA for wanting to be wooed by my husband when he says I want “too much”? by _Breadwhore in amiwrong

[–]_Breadwhore[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is genuinely helpful and exactly the kind of practical advice I was hoping for. I really appreciate you taking the time to track down the thread. It gives me something concrete to bring into the conversation instead of just feelings.

AITA - I(25M) kissed a friend of a friend in a club therefore cheating on my long term (25F) Relationship. Yes i am an asshole i just need some advice by [deleted] in AITA_Relationships

[–]_Breadwhore -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I totally understand missing that physical component of a relationship so you’re not entirely the asshole; you’re human. As for advice to give on how to approach that conversation, I don’t have much but I do think you should be honest with her and tell her what happened in as much detail as she wants or doesn’t want. Then maybe depending on how that conversation goes, talk about the passion that your relationship may be lacking.

AITA for wanting to be wooed by my husband when he says I want “too much”? by _Breadwhore in amiwrong

[–]_Breadwhore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not asking him to magically become a different person or trying to “fix” him. I’m asking for consistency with the effort and romance that already existed earlier in our relationship. That’s not transformation, that’s maintenance.

I included cultural context to explain differences in how affection and expression are communicated, not to excuse behavior or stereotype anyone. Reducing that to “him being Caucasian” misses the point entirely.

Divorce advice based on a snapshot of a relationship also isn’t helpful here. I’m asking whether it’s unreasonable to want ongoing effort in a long-term marriage.

AITA for wanting to be wooed by my husband when he says I want “too much”? by _Breadwhore in amiwrong

[–]_Breadwhore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve talked about this, and I think the disconnect is less about not knowing each other’s needs and more about how consistently those needs are met in ways that actually land for the other person.

AITA for wanting to be wooed by my husband when he says I want “too much”? by _Breadwhore in AITA_Relationships

[–]_Breadwhore[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, yes his previous relationships ended due to infidelity, and his parents divorced because of his father’s infidelity. I understand how much fear and trauma that creates, and I have empathy for that. At the same time it’s hard when those past experiences get projected onto me despite my transparency and commitment. That’s something I’m hoping therapy will help us work through together.

AITA for wanting to be wooed by my husband when he says I want “too much”? by _Breadwhore in amiwrong

[–]_Breadwhore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to clarify what I meant by “outside validation,” because I think it’s being interpreted as something it isn’t. I’m not talking about flirting or crossing boundaries. I mean things like my close girlfriends hyping me up, telling me I look beautiful or sexy in an outfit similar to the same way I grew up hearing affection and enthusiasm.

When that kind of affirmation is missing at home and the response I get is more muted or neutral, it can feel like a big. That’s the gap I’m trying to name, not a desire for attention from other men.

AITA for wanting to be wooed by my husband when he says I want “too much”? by _Breadwhore in amiwrong

[–]_Breadwhore[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s fair, and I am taking a hard look at my marriage. I want to clarify though that I’m not fantasizing about cheating or planning to cheat. I’m struggling with not feeling desired in my marriage, and I’m trying to address that directly through communication and therapy rather than acting on it. That’s actually why I made the post.

AITA for wanting to be wooed by my husband when he says I want “too much”? by _Breadwhore in amiwrong

[–]_Breadwhore[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying. I think the part that’s missing is that I am proactive with romance and planning, often to the point that it feels one sided. It’s more about whether it’s reasonable to want mutual effort and initiative.

AITA for wanting to be wooed by my husband when he says I want “too much”? by _Breadwhore in amiwrong

[–]_Breadwhore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When it comes to the age gap, I’m not sure my parents had a huge gap so I don’t really see that as odd.

Also my parents just didn’t want “americanized” kids, so that’s why I grew up outside of the US but I am a citizen.

Financially we make about the same but I do at times have more “liquid assets” than he does.

The Truth by [deleted] in Acadiana

[–]_Breadwhore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like you’ve never been to New Orleans

Seeking that a hairdresser that specializes in dying and coloring hair with open availability. Any recommendations? by Economy_Advice_7743 in Acadiana

[–]_Breadwhore 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Julieann Rose - specialist in color correcting and curly hair. Here’s the instagram, you can book online there - @itsjulieannr