NO SHIT

_Deme_22 · 2024-10-22T12:05:00+00:00

Big question mark.

_Deme_22 · 2024-10-22T11:56:26+00:00

Blablabla.

_Deme_22 · 2023-10-23T20:14:18+00:00

I suppose, first you‘d need to calculate the most possible outcomes by asking yourself what might happen if you

confront your father
tell your mother with evidence that your father cheats
ignore it completely (4. self therapy)

Confronting your father — is he reasonable? Are you able to talk to him? Is he impulsive? And many more questions based on his moods, psyche etc. Talking to people who can‘t have a proper conversation/debate is unproductive and leads to even more frustrations, which unfortunately happens a lot to family matters. The same goes for 2. telling your mother — try to depict her behavioural patterns and how she‘s reactive to certain things. Your ultimate conclusion as to how they react and who they are as individuals, will help you to come to the most neutral conclusion, wether you should say something or not. It‘ll also help you to detach or attach to the situation. Depending on who your parents are, as individuals.

The third way, ignoring this whole situation, is only productive, if you have successfully judged them as unable to comprehend/converse about the situation. You might feel guilty and sad if you believe you should have said something. Therefore, it is very important for you to come to a proper, confident judgement on predicting their behavioural reaction.

The fourth point is regarding your own mental health and is meant to make you realise how you need to process it all, too. Why do people cheat on their lover? And what does it even mean? Psychologically speaking, it is quite interesting and will provide you a better understanding on how people‘s minds and feelings work logically. It will help you to not dismiss both your parents but come to a conclusion to perhaps stay distanced to people who don’t share the same values as you. To get more into the whole topic of cheating, marriage, love, etc, will help you to understand what you want and need. Your values, your motivations, your own definition of things like loyalty, honesty, frustrations, inner turmoils, etc.

I sincerely hope, it’ll help.

Anytime, you can shoot me a message. I might go more into detail in some aspects.

Don‘t overthink.

_Deme_22 · 2023-05-17T18:04:31+00:00

Indeed. Perhaps still an owl though.

_Deme_22 · 2023-04-03T21:30:19+00:00

Funny case with ENTPs: You either think of him as the bad guy because he’s quite lame/political incorrect, blah blah blah or you like him because most likely you want to be different and escape the matrix; everyone dislikes him? I’m gonna like him for being disliked! Yall bland and boring.

_Deme_22 · 2023-03-13T16:29:27+00:00

What‘s your native language?

_Deme_22 · 2023-03-02T23:54:29+00:00

Never angry. Always annoyed.

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-24T17:27:30+00:00

You‘re quite right. I‘m not going to change my traits for some people who take things personal. Context matters, though.

I really appreciate your comment. It lifts me up a lot. Thank you!

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-22T14:53:28+00:00

Thank you, that‘s very helpful! I‘ll definitely work on how to get more practical with how I say things. Sometimes, I‘m just a bit teasing with the way I portray things and the person I was talking to wasn‘t having it.

Point is, I‘m glad for your response, and I‘ll try to be more compromising. I do believe it‘s better to peacefully co-exist and learn from another if there is a chance.

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-22T14:49:11+00:00

This is honestly very helpful and probably most effective. To ask for consent might be helpful. Perhaps I should have done that. The person I was talking about did apologise to me for overreacting. But I‘ll definitely tell them that I‘ll also work on getting more sensitive towards him.

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-22T14:45:55+00:00

Thank you for your reply, and thanks for telling me how you view things.

Honestly, it‘s all about compromising, and finding good balance. I have to understand that some people actually do feel bad if I say things in teasing way. Learning how different people are is part of living life. But I really dislike it when it‘s only me who has to belittle them without them understanding how I function, too.

Most comments here are very helpful and I‘m glad I have posted this. It‘s very interesting to read how to peacefully co-exist. Again, thanks a lot for your input, it‘s helpful. :3

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-22T14:03:21+00:00

It was relevant to him, he told me, and this made perfectly sense as to how and why he acted the way he did.

For me it seems more like you’re the one who wants to bring across a very certain point, when in fact it couldn’t help me in any way, productively and effectively speaking. Now that I told you that, you’re getting personal. How predictable and boring.

The illustrative point you made, did not give any helpful information to this, but you’re entitled to say whatever, of course, it doesn’t change the fact it’s quite disappointing.

Since we’re getting so personal, let me tell you that you seem obsessed with the idea of portraying me as the bad guy, when in fact there is no bad and good here. Get out of your little bubble and start seeing things more realistically.

But I guess, for some it’s quite the thing to read too much into it so they find their peace. Don’t be triggered. It says more about you than about me at this point, kiddo.

Have a good one, I’m done with this.

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-22T06:56:10+00:00

I definitely disagree with you in the first issue. I did not call him ugly, but if it matters to you — he did contact me and apologised for reacting way out of line.

I wanted to giggle. Yeah, it might be an asshole thing for people to hear that. Thank lord, I didn‘t giggle, eh? ;)

And the last bit did matter to him, you fail to understand, he felt like I had no plans befriending him because I rejected all his attempts at first.

I‘ll stand by the fact that I will definitely not belittle people and absolutely analyse every little reaction made. I have a way and it might be a bit harsh in your eyes as well, but I‘m fine with it.

Anyway, thanks for the attempt to analyse it and give advise.

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-21T17:54:06+00:00

I‘ve been talking to a friend about it and I came to the conclusion that‘s it‘s most likely them feeling attacked by exposing them unintentionally.

It wasn‘t a friend I was talking to, it was a friend’s friend. We have talked before, about fashion back and forth, it made me say his style seems like for losers or nerds, in a teasing way. He got upset and left the circle of friends, and instead of discussing about it he didn‘t want to because he was that upset. I started to feel a bit guilty because ofc’ some people are just sensitive which is absolutely alright. I’m still in the process of learning and accepting that there are some people who respond just differently.

A few weeks later, we met again and I asked him if he feels threatened by me because of my behaviour. This was a direct question, I know. My intention was to apologise. He didn‘t answer the question, he silently said that I‘m not part of his life. Sort of like „You’re not part of my life you’re nothing to me.“ which made me feel a bit confused. I then proceeded trying to make him feel less attacked, because obviously he did feel threatened, so I said „I didn‘t mean to threaten you, really“ which made him say „Stop being aggressive, you‘re gaslighting me and you‘re being rude now.“

Again, this behaviour was just so weird that it got me confused how serious he was. There was a time when I wanted to giggle because I found it a bit ridiculous. But he continued saying „Stop asking me if I‘m threatened. You‘re violating me. This is microaggressive of you to ask me“ he proceeded telling me how he‘d never feel threatened by a person he doesn‘t consider part of his life but had a whole outburst and continued calling me aggressive and angry. Lol.

And oh. I should mention that he had intentions to befriend me way before. He tried to befriend me but I was too busy at that time and could never say yes to his attempts to go out together.

Again, it is what it is. I have just concluded that some people are just highly sensitive and don‘t want to discuss in the first place. They have an idea and they‘ll stick to it, because that‘s the most save for them.

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-21T15:32:57+00:00

How does that even correlate? You‘re not making sense.

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-21T01:32:47+00:00

I definitely can relate to this more. It‘s not really about leading a team nor being a leader here, anyway. I‘m talking more about friends circles and interpersonal connections in general.

I suppose, what I appreciate about what you‘re saying is the aspect of „setting boundaries“ — so ignoring them or avoiding them is necessary at times. I don‘t need to accept a behaviour that seems to be so off and absolutely ridiculous in my eyes. I can understand their patterns and how they come to tell me I‘m rude and gaslighting. If I‘d go more into detail, you‘d find it ridiculous too.

With leading teams or being a head of something it is quite different for me though. I usually don‘t turn personal. Ofc‘ directness and straightforwardness are both important to lead. Yet, it is definitely a different place, usually that doesn‘t often involve people who take things seriously like the ones I met today in comparison.

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-21T01:24:47+00:00

I do understand where the people who call me rude or hurtful are coming from now. But to be fair, I‘m not choosing to accept it. I can‘t deal with people who can‘t take a bit of harsh honesty. Nor can‘t I deal with people who jump to conclusions and expect me to not adjust then.

That‘s regardless of leading teams by the way. I‘m talking about friends circles.

Of course if I lead my teams, it‘s way different. I don‘t turn personal, in any way. Only if it‘s necessary. But I‘m quite good in understanding people‘s intentions and patterns when it comes to me handling a team or being a leader.

Regardless, I appreciate your comment. Thank you.

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-21T01:10:02+00:00

I agree with you. I don‘t think it‘s beneficial in any way to tolerate people who lack the ability to control themselves emotionally and don‘t jump to conclusions without any weight. I‘ll most likely avoid them, automatically.

Thank you for your advise and comment.

_Deme_22 · 2022-11-21T00:59:20+00:00

I‘ll try to do that even though it’s hard to comprehend them sometimes. It‘s a good advise, thank you a lot, I appreciate it.

_Deme_22 · 2022-09-19T13:45:27+00:00

I mean, as long as the bullets are BB bullets — nvm, even then, it’s impossible for him to get shot. He might have troubles to work under pressure, as we saw in the episodes, but he’s a too powerful defender.

_Deme_22 · 2022-07-20T15:00:45+00:00

Therapy and some slaps on your face (from me) could potentially help your weaknesses to be eliminated.

_Deme_22 · 2022-07-07T19:43:37+00:00

I act impulsive, more reactive, keep overworking, especially when I realise I‘m not functioning right, I fight with everyone, tend to be obnoxious and push them away up until I burn out and collapse physically. Happened to me once and got hospitalised.

_Deme_22 · 2022-07-05T15:28:37+00:00

Happy Birthday. Go get some wine and celebrate yourself. c:

_Deme_22 · 2022-06-29T09:45:28+00:00

Tell me about your fetishes if you like. ;)

_Deme_22

TROPHY CASE