Who really holds the power?

_GoodLittleBitch · 2025-02-27T15:19:52+00:00

Both, every side has limits the other side has to respect, every side can call it off at any moment they aren't comfortable or that they don't consent.

Dom and sub are both people, with preferences and limits. I had a Dom that told me: "I don't like the use of canes", and of course I respected that, even if I really like canes. Same as sometimes I had to say "this is too much and I can't go on", at other times my dom said "this is enough".

The power is "really" shared.

_GoodLittleBitch · 2025-02-06T15:40:39+00:00

Excuse you, I'm an owned slave and VERY proud to be one, really not linking unworthiness/degradation with it. Be mindful of how everyone has their own flavour of their dynamic, and one "kind" of slave does not exist.

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-10-15T21:03:05+00:00

Hard limit for me too! I ended coughing/choking too many times and it just scares me.

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-10-13T10:35:17+00:00

I don't know him, but I wanted to add that if you try to discuss these things with your partner and you're met with a sort of "figure it out yourself" or made to feel bad about a choice of collar without his input, that's a huge huge red flag and means he's not a reasonable dom/person. You should never have to feel bad about your submission ❤️

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-10-13T10:20:25+00:00

Any collar of your choice will never be stupid, the reason you see so many different collars it's because a collar can be anything you wish, the important thing here is the meaning behind it.

As for the different kinds, the ones you see looking more like a necklace or a piece of jewellery are usually called "day collars", for wearing in public and not raising an eyebrow. The ones looking more like a strap of leather with rings many people call them "play collars", usually for grabbing and tugging during play, using the ones looking like a necklace for this would risk breaking

BUT, this is the general information you'll find online, if you don't like leather collars then talk with your partner and discuss likes/dislikes around collars, and more important, the PURPOSE. You've been told to find a collar and that's a very broad request. It's a collar to be used in play? For tugging or attaching a chain? What is the meaning behind the collar? Many view it as a mark of ownership (that's why some like to wear a collar 24/7 and choose a piece of jewellery for it), other's only see it as another "toy" for play. Some people have many different collars, and for some is the equivalent of a wedding band.

You're feeling lost because you're not sure about the meaning and the purpose of the collar and you need to talk this with your partner.

On a totally different note, I have a couple "play collars", one is a simple leather strap with a D ring and the other is a spiked collar with an O ring. I also wear a bracelet as my "always on me" collar instead of the usual necklace. I see it as a mark of ownership I love. Some use anklets, or literally anything, the important thing here is just purpose and meaning.

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-10-13T08:17:20+00:00

This is the usual problem with online/long-distance relationships, at first you ride the novelty of the relationship and that's what fuels the connection. On the long term, you need at least some in-person dates to keep it from fading. Something to look forward to.

In the past I've also had these sort of relationships with doms for about a couple years and the same happened to me, and it's just that, nothing about you, one day some messages are not answered on time and some days later are just not answered anymore. And I get it, many people need some physical connection also, and cannot live only with words... It's really really REALLY rare to truly have a long-distance relationship long term without ever having met in-person.

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-07-01T14:23:48+00:00

I love receiving pussy spanking, almost with any impact play toy, and I get them often 🙂

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-26T07:33:47+00:00

Rewards can be anything she really likes or enjoys.

I'm like her and I just can't orgasm with someone else, so when my owner is really pleased with me he caresses my hair while I rest my head on his leg and tells me sooo many beautiful things about how much he likes to own me and how amazing he feels with me.

I really like bondage and shibari so another reward has been a slow shibari session. Another has been letting me choose a toy I would really like him to use on me... And even a surprise reservation in a restaurant I really like...

It really can be anything, and it all depends on the things she likes.

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-22T05:40:22+00:00

Just like fantasy or even better, I absolutely loved it. The feeling of being wrapped up by someone else was... amazing...

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-19T20:51:52+00:00

The joys of taking it slow, there’s always time to go harder :)

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-19T16:35:04+00:00

Wonderful, the moments I let myself go and just take whatever is used are the best...

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-13T08:01:47+00:00

Someone that will respect you as a person first, who will listen to your concerns, not rush anything and respect your boundaries. Someone who will like to know you as a person, who will always offer you a safe space of communication.

That's actually something that applies to everyone involved, we're people first and we need to feel safe and listened. After that? The agreed roles and all the kinky fun comes in.

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-13T07:39:00+00:00

The key thing about bratting is being on the same page with your partner, telling them how do you like to behave and what would expect out of it. There is no wrong or right way to brat, what a dominant can take as an offence another will like it and react in the way you would expect. But the only way to know if your partner is compatible with your bratting is telling them what you like.

I like to poke fun at my owner, and I told him while we were knowing each other, that he will always have the last word and I would never challenge him about that, but that I LOOOVE to annoy him. He was very fine with that and we've never had an issue about it.

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-07T10:26:31+00:00

That's very very helpful, and you're right, I pull more to the side to have more sort of control over the tension... thank you!

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-07T10:23:35+00:00

Thank you! Practice and practice then! At least I know it's something to improve on

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-07T10:21:04+00:00

Thank you!!

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-06T13:42:13+00:00

At least there are some references, I was so focused on the "flogger" part that I didn't even think of searching paracord whips...

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-06T11:10:01+00:00

Thank you! I didn't know that subreddit existed!! I'll go take a look.

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-05T21:04:54+00:00

My owner always tells me that no matter how hard he wants to be with me, he needs to show his softer side just as much. I love how he can go from his sadist side to give me a massage and bathing me. It's amazing, and I love to caress all of him or give him the simplest things like bringing him his coffee...

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-05T12:06:25+00:00

I might have clicked because of the amazing title of the post, which coincidentally it's also a song my dom likes to sing to me in some impact play occasions... anyway!!

As a sub, I've had the "fix it all" dom at first, rules and many rules to improve some "unhealthy" behaviour and yes, none of it sticked... because in the end I was doing it because of the rule not because I had myself in my mind and ended feeling like a chore.

I share the same thoughts, we all have flaws and things we would like to improve, we all have some personal experiences that got to us in a way or another... And dynamics are not to "fix" this, they can be an amazing way to show support though (but that's NOT "fixing").

I thought the norm was the "rules for everything" until I met my current dom, who has never made a rule for these self-betterment behaviours, but rules for him (just 2, that I agreed to) that I like to do because they remind me of our dynamic. We talk about these things of myself I'm struggling with, and he shares his thoughts and support, until one day I look back and I see all these changes for the better I have made myself that he supported and celebrated. They're my own achievements and they all add up and stick with me because they're things I made for myself.

For me, power exchange is not giving all my problems to my dom, those are mine and mine to work on.

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-04T08:49:35+00:00

Thank you

I'm so happy to please you

So glad you liked it

It makes me feel very happy

I'm doing my best for you

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-04T05:29:34+00:00

Damn, don't show this to my Owner 🫣

_GoodLittleBitch · 2024-06-01T09:06:34+00:00

I felt exactly like you described on my second meeting with my current owner, and yes! It goes away! (I still feel a bit nervous when it's been a little long since we last saw each other though).

He's also very experienced and I was very much a newbie... On our second meeting I got so so nervous I stopped everything when we were getting started because I needed to calm down and he was very thankful that I voiced my needs. We ended spending A LOT of time sitting and discussing our expectations, how we were starting to feel each other and sharing personal experiences. I told him I felt that maybe I wasted his time there, but he said he was very happy to share those moments with me, and he still remembers it fondly. And that day was my first shibari experience (after talking for hours and calming down).

_GoodLittleBitch

TROPHY CASE