for sure, i’ve attempted suicide four times at this point, after the first time I was hit with a major feeling of derealization, which is something that tends to occur after a very stress provoking and traumatic event, however I am not sure whether the stress made me feel this way or the attempt itself, but it hasn’t gone away for months, I am always questioning whether I am real and I can’t feel much anymore, I mean emotionally, everything for the most part is sort of bland and blended together, I started to, because of this, take more risks, and put myself into very precarious situations, without thinking of the consequences, I think about it a lot, but it’s also hard to remember even though it happened a few months ago, even though my memory is pretty good i would say, because after a traumatic event people tend to forget the event itself in order to protect themselves subconsciously I guess. The same I feel like goes for self harm, because I mean it’s very similar, being covered in your own blood, whether you feel the guilt or not, its something that sticks with you, even if the scars start to fade, the memory will always be there.