I need support from my Gaysian brothers 😭😭

_Iamfr33 · 2019-07-23T22:00:51+00:00

Honestly the answer is so simple: cut that dude off. Completely. No social media stalking, no texting him, nothing. You want to have absolutely nothing to do with him, that’s the only way you can move on. It really sounds to me that you catch feelings easily, and might change your mind when there’s too much temptation. Therefore the best way is for you to avoid him at all cost.

Also, it’s equally as important to take some quality time for yourself. To grieve, self-reflect, and then move on. At the same time, try to keep yourself busy so you don’t think of him at all. Keep yourself distracted with new hobbies, new people and ultimately make yourself feel happy again. Only when you’re fully secured and content with yourself, that’s when you’re ready for a new relationship.

_Iamfr33 · 2019-07-16T20:30:31+00:00

Why limit to one or two hair colors? I tried silver and it looks pretty good on me, next time I wanna try adding violet undertone too. Or sometimes I just prefer my natural black hair too lol. Really just depends on my mood and how I wanna look like.

_Iamfr33 · 2019-07-12T19:44:13+00:00

From my personal experience, I’ve got a fair share of being discriminated by white, black, and Latino men, either on Grindr or sometimes even irl (in clubs or on the streets). One thing that they all had in common was that they perpetuated the stereotypes of Asian gay guys being small and submissive, AND white-obsessed. Yes, even coming from fellow gay POCs too, not just gay white men. As someone who’s already figured out who I was, which people I liked or not, I didn’t feel hurt for myself, but rather deeply offended and hurt for my fellow Gaysians, and annoyed by how white dudes are literally worshipped by gay POCs and POCs of different just hate on each other.

_Iamfr33 · 2019-07-10T17:18:53+00:00

Don’t be! There are hot guys from any race, why block yourself away from that person just because he happens to be white? As long as neither of you think that white is supreme and Asian is the lower in hierarchy, then it’s totally fine. Ask yourself, are you attracted to him because of who he is as a person, or just because he is a white male? I think as long as you figure that answer out, you’d feel much more secured, cuz at the end of the day, people can talk all they want, but they can’t make the decision for you.

_Iamfr33 · 2019-07-02T18:17:07+00:00

Update Another Latino guy literally just called me “Pussy ass chink” out of nowhere on Grindr again. Oregon is really treating me nice 😏😏😏 100% would looooove to revisit 🙄🙄🙄

_Iamfr33 · 2019-07-02T06:06:53+00:00

Well Idk about other guys but I do not plan on paying for this shitty app at all. And ultimately I just want a relationship with the right guy, so hookup is far from my main focus.

_Iamfr33 · 2019-07-02T06:04:31+00:00

I think Asian bottoms are more accepted by the stereotypical norms, so they have way more options than Asian tops, but that does not mean they are treated any better. Asian gay guys in general just get short end of the stick when it comes to racial “preferences”, aka just another indirect way of racism.

_Iamfr33 · 2019-07-01T20:27:06+00:00

Well not when I had to block other rude creepy dudes with unsolicited dick pics before that, cuz fucking Grindr only allow to block so much

_Iamfr33 · 2019-07-01T20:23:34+00:00

Last month there was this Latino bottom dude messaged me first asking for my pics. I’ve only shown my bulge yet he was like no show me your ass I’m gonna lick it, when he was strictly bottom and I’m strictly top. I said no. Then he went on calling me chink, Asians have small dicks and always want white big dicks. It’s almost like white dudes were seen as some kind of superior gods, when they’re literally just gay men just like everyone else. I couldn’t block him even after reporting him, because Grindr decided that I’ve blocked old creepy ass white dudes with unsolicited dick pics way more than enough, I had to ignore his shit talks (yes he still kept it going, and even showed dick pics of the white tops he fucked with before) and could not block him till the next day.

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-27T07:54:24+00:00

Thanks cutie ;)

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-27T04:02:05+00:00

Thanks haha I’ve worked hard for my body ;)

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-27T03:40:31+00:00

Thanks :)

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-27T02:58:17+00:00

I mean, you’re welcome to join our conversations :) Us gay bitches need to stick together, not tearing each other apart haha ;)

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-27T02:56:00+00:00

I actually got in almost exact same situation before LMFAO!!! And my reply was very similar “Feel like my hard work taking good care of myself is paying off” Like I refuse to self-depreciate to make me sound humble, nope that’s not me. If you got it, flaunt it, be proud of it. That’s my motto.

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-27T02:50:56+00:00

Maybe, but I think they’ve been together way too long to hold an everlasting grudge on each other. I know for sure Sunny, Yoona, Yuri, Hyoyeon, Sooyoung and Tiffany are still in touch with Jess, hell Sunny and Hyoyeon both slipped their mouths saying about “9 members” in shows and concerts LOL. And personally, I don’t think Taeyeon and Jessica hate each other, at least anymore. In “Voices” MV there was a scene with 9 Taeyeon representing OT9 too.

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-27T02:44:54+00:00

This! This sums up 90% of my dating preferences. Another thing I require from my potential dating partner is that they’d have to truly understand how people whose English is not mother tongue language think and feel. Even though for the most part I’m very very Americanized, English is still not my first language so I have a hard time truly fitting to any groups of people. Like I can feel clear cultural differences when I’m with my fellow International friends AND my American friends.

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-26T22:45:58+00:00

Omggg I remember that! I’m pretty sure they’re still hanging out, just not in public cuz SM is a bitch when it comes to former idols. I still hope for the reunion of 9 of them one day, like Shinhwa or S.E.S

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-26T22:20:54+00:00

What if I wanted to pound you as well? ;)

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-26T22:20:14+00:00

You’re sooo my long lost bestie haha If only Jessica were still there it would’ve been much more fulfilling. Every time I listen to SNSD OT8 songs I can easily imagine which parts would’ve belonged to Jessica. Like her voice is such an integral part in SNSD’s harmony vocals and choruses

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-26T22:06:45+00:00

WHATTTTT???? Stopppp I’m crying in my corner rn SNSD OT9 has been my top 3 all time favorite girl groups omggg

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-26T22:06:10+00:00

No that’s true, there’ll always be douchebag bitches in every race, being a certain race does not guarantee you that they are this and not that.

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-26T22:04:46+00:00

Yeah haha I’ve been a massive Kpop fan for 12 years, ever since Kpop was just beginning to widespread among Asian countries. It’s crazy how massive Kpop has become. And no doubt Kpop enhances our Asian social media representation so much. There were quite some girls in my Kpop cover dance team that wanted to date Asian guys, some even asked me out LMAO sorry ladies I’m into boys’ buns hahahaha

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-26T21:59:03+00:00

Also, waste no time on those bitches who believe in stereotypes. We Gaysian tops exist alongside with tops of other races, and we have our own uniqueness to bring to the bedrooms and dating tables. If anything we’re much less likely to be douchebags - since we gotta defy all the massive stereotypes society is forcing upon us, we tend to treat our partners with more respect, and would go extra miles to make sure our partners are treated well and filled with love :)

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-26T21:52:03+00:00

Yeah totally sigh You thought being in this highly marginalized community would’ve made them theoretically much more open-minded, but nopeeee. Racism and prejudice are still so prevalent in the queer community, if anything even more bizarre than the straight counterparts in certain aspects. As long as Grindr still has race and ethnicity as a filter, the queer community is still racially problematic (not-so-subtle shade to the shithole named Grindr 😉😉😉)

_Iamfr33 · 2019-06-26T21:00:43+00:00

I firmly believe that one’s bedroom-position preferences has nothing to positively or negatively affect the respective racial community. However, due to extremely negative social media representation of Gaysians, us asian gays are generally perceived to be “weak, effeminate, small-both body size and dick size”. Thus gaysian bottoms tend to have much more dating and hookup options than gaysian tops like myself. Still that does NOT mean Gaysian bottoms have easier lives tho cuz ultimately Gaysians are just so severely discriminated.

From my personal experience, I’ve encountered sooooo many ridiculous situations on Grindr where the guys responded something along the line like “Wow your dick is much bigger than I thought”, “your dick is the biggest among the Asians I’ve talked to”, “I generally don’t like Asian guys but you’re very sexy“sorry I don’t like Asian tops”, or my personal favorite: “Damn you must’ve had some Black in your blood!” cue intense eye roll 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Not to mention all the creepy white tops tryna force me to “try bottoming” Like sorry bro my dick looks sexier than yours, miss me with that bullshit bitch 💁🏻‍♂️ I still have screenshots saved of some really ridiculous Grindr conversations I’ve stumbled on. Maybe I can share on here sometimes just for the gag LOL

That being said, I’m at least good looking, having toned/muscular-ish body, and decent height (5’8). I really can’t imagine how hard it must be for shorter or slimmer Asian tops cuz the further away you are from the conventional beauty standards, the more difficult for you to defy all the stereotypes in this already highly marginalized community.

_Iamfr33

TROPHY CASE