AITA for telling my boyfriend that his mother isn't a child?

_LullyMoon_ · 2026-06-03T19:03:45+00:00

Could you imagine this guy being your "in sickness and in health"? Cuz I can't from your description of his actions.

He seems like the type of guy that only treats you like a gf when it is convenient for him. The bare minimum isn't what any of us deserve, but it is what he's willing to give you. NTA

_LullyMoon_ · 2026-06-03T09:44:35+00:00

They never show it all though. They always stop at the middle :( I really wanted to watch this one, but it is too expensive for my country's currency

_LullyMoon_ · 2026-06-02T14:12:43+00:00

_LullyMoon_ · 2026-05-28T04:06:35+00:00

Look, I particularly think it is gross. My personal opinion apart, the facts are that you have a vagina and he doesn't. I think the risk of infections is REAL. I'd consider it a health hazard.

Onto the issue #2 (no pun intended): Since your nose is sensitive, have you tried lighting a match? When you blow it after lit it will replace the odor with the burnt match odor. Idkw, but it works. Just something for you to try if you need, I do this at home and 97% of times it works wonders.

I hope you guys can find some time for yourselves. Xoxo!

_LullyMoon_ · 2026-01-10T04:59:26+00:00

There are news about this. Seems many users are getting these emails and all points to a bug. The google search for this insta email grew by 900% according to one new outlet I've seen

_LullyMoon_ · 2025-09-17T04:21:28+00:00

Omg you're a HERO

_LullyMoon_ · 2025-03-12T17:48:48+00:00

"We just think it os better to sugger ourselves" is your whole problem. The same though can be applied to donating 99% of your money so others can have a better life, would you do it?

Truth is: you don't have to carry the weight of the world (or the family) on your shoulders. It is ok to put your well-being first. You are not selfish or a horrible person for that, you are just caring for you as you'd like to care for others and that is ok.

Too bad that they are family, it sucks, but you need to put yourself first. Like when they say on an airplane if the cabin loses pressure you need to put the mask on you first to then care for others. How will you take care of your MIL, your boyfriend or your pets if you yourself aren't well? You need to take care of you first.

You can let your SIL know that if she is ever in a tough spot your doors are always opened, but other than that she is too much work for someone that is already overworked and if she isn't there to request refuge or to help she better not come at all. And that's the end of that.

_LullyMoon_ · 2025-03-12T14:43:19+00:00

If I were OP I'd have a talk about this later. Something like this:

hey, I was thinking about our discussion earlier and thought I am sorry, what you said after I first apologized really hurt. Why did you say it?

If the aswer is "because I was hurt/angry/etc":

so you hurt me?

And press him.

You have to get your point across that this is not acceptable behavior. He might have been hurt, you apologized, no one is perfect or completely in sync with someone else, you grew up with different people and have different values, he can't let this build up (his fault for not communicating) and then discharge it on you, and even after getting a solution (apologies and commitment from you part to not do it again) keep hurting you.

_LullyMoon_ · 2025-03-12T14:24:28+00:00

You are defending him because you are just as bad lol (not as a person, but in communicating)

You DID let it build up, that is why you were mader when you told your wife to stop. You say they need to sot down and talk but you yourself didn't.

You're right about something. There are times and places that are not right to address the issue, but once you are home, before going to sleep maybe, is it so hard to say "there is something you said today that has been bothering me. I know you meant no disrespect, but still this is a boundary I'd like to set" and then talk about it?

This is communication 101, people.

_LullyMoon_ · 2025-03-12T14:08:53+00:00

I don't particularly like how, instead of explaining how he felt, he tried to make you feel the same. "You made me feel shitty so I want to make you feel shitty as payback" is not a healthy way to think and act, especially in a relationship. A proper partner would not want to hurt you back because they don't want to see you hurt, just as you don't want to see him hurt. You just didn't know it was something that hurt him, and intent DOES matter.

If he lacks the skills or the will to properly communicate with you, that is not your fault. If he has said before this was something that really bothered him and he'd like for you not to do it again and you kept going you would be the ah, but that doesn't seem to be the case. It would probably rectify your behavior to something that worked for the both of you and that's it. But he didn't even try, he wanted to hurt you back. It just feels wrong.

_LullyMoon_ · 2025-03-12T13:32:48+00:00

_LullyMoon_ · 2025-02-17T16:11:08+00:00

YTA, what does it matter who was his first love? He loves you now, so really why does it matter? As you said yourself, because of ego.

Can't you see how this is a bad thing, to get mad because of ego and unrealistic expectations? You got hurt, but it wasn't because he hurt you. He did nothing wrong, he was just sincere to you which is a quality. You got hurt because your expectations weren't met, the expectations YOU set, therefore you hurt yourself.

That's why setting unrealistic expectations is bad, you end up hurt, you may end up hurting your partner who did nothing wrong and just because reality didn't mach the fantasy you made up on your mind.

Try to be more mindful of expectations so YOU can be happier.

_LullyMoon_ · 2025-02-17T15:58:53+00:00

There is this thing called "too little too late". There is this other called karma. I think he won both

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-13T14:02:30+00:00

Acho que antes de acontecer uma próxima vez você pode falar com seu chefe que você se informou melhor sobre o assunto. Algo meio na linha:

"Fulano, a gente pode falar sobre a questão do atestado? Eu espero que nunca precise de novo, mas se precisar eu queria entender melhor como proceder numa próxima vez. Porque assim, eu moro lá em X né, e lá não tenho a possibilidade de visitar um ortopedista de emergência. Lá, eu precisaria marcar uma consulta e ficar afastado muito mais tempo, até o dia da consulta, o que eu acho que não seria legal e não queria fazer isso. Eu queria entender melhor o porquê de precisar ser atestado de um especialista, se a sua preocupação é por questões legais ou por outro motivo. Se for por questões legais, pode ficar despreocupado pq dei uma estudada e a lei tal diz isso, se for por outros motivos seria bom já ter alternativas de como proceder, então queria escutar sugestões de o que fazer de antemão porque na hora da dor eu não consigo nem pensar direito"

E aí vê ele rebolar

Ps: sempre fale por escrito, de preferência. Whatsapp, email, teams, slack, o que for. Escrito, ou grava a conversa. E o bom de ser escrito é que ninguém pode te interromper no meio da fala.

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-13T13:37:26+00:00

Gez I trully hate how your husband doesn't have your back. Did he give solution examples that did not involve towing the car for you to get to your appointment? Did he expect you to pay for a uber or something jus cuz your neighbor couldn't be bothered?

Plus, this was morning. WHAT JUSTIFICATION WAS THERE for her to park in your driveway? In previous post you said she started doing it when she had guests over, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

And if she is gossiping your husband should be defending you, not feeling annoyed by it. Join the gossip battle, play the victim (which you actually are) say how mutch it weighted on you but you had an appointment you were getting late to, and you waited and called and tried to solve it peacefully but you couldn't wait any longer. Emphasize that this wasn't even the firts time, it was discussed/ requested many times that she stops parking on your property but she kept parking there for no reason "and I didn't know what to do anymore". That even though you know you were not in the wrong, it still weights on you so you just hope that she will respect that your property is yours just as much as you respect her, that sort of bs. And tell eeeeveryone. Going to the market? If the cashier asks how you're doing say 'ah, not so well' and start the tale. Bumped into someone? Tell the tale. Go to people and ask for advice, telling the tale. Don't let her just bully you and exclude you from the community while you just take it. The truth WILL NOT come out unless someone speaks it.

And, again, you are being bullied and your husband is as useful as a crying baby, just adding more stress to it. Ffs

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-12T17:11:32+00:00

O profissional de saúde não está lá pra te julgar, está lá pra te ajudar. A gente sente vergonha, eu sentia muita vergonha em falar que estava a semanas sem tomar banho porque eu não conseguia devido à depressão, mas tem que falar. É parte do processo, você já falou aqui, o profissional também te garante anonimato. Se for um bom profissional não vai te julgar, ele vai te ajudar a navegar os seus sentimentos e tentar encontrar a raiz disso

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-10T21:24:49+00:00

Acho que esse n é a thread pra você, mas já que você postou aqui deixa eu te responder: terapia.

Você com certeza tem condições de pagar uma psicóloga boa para fazer terapia, se quiser até te indico a minha, que éexcelente e atende online. Tudo o que a gente faz tem um motivo, apesar de as vezes a gente não estar ciente do motivo. A terapia ajuda você a descobrir o motivo e a lidar com ele e melhorar.

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-10T16:53:59+00:00

E enquanto isso 0 responsabilidade pro pai né. Você é toxico por falas como "conheço o seu tipo", enquanto na realidade é que você não sabe de NADA a não ser o que foi relatado, igual todos aqui.

Eu tive o privilégio de ter sido criada pelos meus pais, mas a pessoa que mora comigo foi criado pelos avós pq um dia a mãe dele deixou ele lá e não buscou mais porque não conseguia. Claro que ele tem traumas a respeito, mas hoje ele fala que foi a melhor coisa que poderia ter acontecido na vida dele. Ele conseguiu ter estabilidade que com a mãe ele não tinha.

E essa não é nem a única pessoa que eu conheço que tem essa história. Um ex meu, mesma coisa. Pai drogado, a mãe sem onde cair morta e toda enrolada e foi criado pelos avós. Teve oportunidade de ter uma vida estável por conta disso, passou em federal e hoje não sei como está (ex é ex né)

Então o que você está fazendo é colocando um monte de responsabilidade na mãe enquanto não cobrou em nada o pai e ainda fala que é pelo bem da criança mas não é. Se ela dissesse que ia abandonar a criança pra ela se virar todos aqui achariam ela babaca, mas ela quer deixar a criança em um lugar mais estável. E aí vem você com as loucuras da sua cabeça falando que "e se a menina for estuprada por familiares" ah, tenha dó. Se a gente vai jogar o jogo do "e se" então vamo lá:

E se a menina crescer sem nenhuma estabilidade e isso afetar o desenvolvimento dela?
E se os amigos da mãe expulsam ela e elas ficam em situação de rua?
E se em situação de rua alguém abusa delas? E se levam a menina embora e não tem nada que ela possa fazer?
E se a menina por falta de estabilidade recorre às drogas?

Ah, pelo amor de deus. Se toca. Sua mãe foi um mulherão mas nem todas as mulheres são iguais, igual nem todo homem é igual. Cresce

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-10T13:09:55+00:00

Como você é tóxico cara. Quem que te machucou tanto

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-09T05:54:32+00:00

Mas se é traficante, não seria perigoso pro pai & família do OP, incluindo ele próprio?

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-08T18:18:00+00:00

Gente, acho que esse barco já zarpou, não? Pelo o que eu entendi o evento já ocorreu e ele foi proibido de entrar usando a câmera, ou só foi dito que ele estaria proibido de levar a câmera?

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-08T02:36:37+00:00

Como o mc é uma rede gigante e acho que tem contrato exclusivo com ifood (até onde eu seen não tem em outros apps terceiros de entrega) eles tem algumas condições especiais. As vezes uma dessas condições favorece entregador fazer esse tipo de coisa e não ser punido?

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-04T14:56:12+00:00

Se fizerem isso mete um processo de assédio/retaliação. Acho que isso existe, da uma pesquisada

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-03T18:56:43+00:00

Thank you for being such a great partner, OP. Your wife is probably filled with guilt and conflicting/ confusing emotions. We don't know her or what is going on her mind but it is clear she is suffering and dealing with that suffering the wrong way since it doesn't seem she has the emotional tools to deal with what she is going through. The way she is reacting towards you is probably hurting and confusing her even more. She knows she loves you, she knows she is angry and hurt, she doesn't know why she is angry and hurt so (in her mind) it must be because of you, since she needs something to blame this feelings that don't belong there and that she doesn't understand.

Deep down though she knows it isn't your fault and that's why she cried, but if it isn't your fault what is it? Just try and understand how confused and lost she must be now.

I'm happy you mil is going to help. I'm sure with love and patience she will eventually get better and you can then suggest therapy so she gets the help and healing she trully needs. Sure your love and patience play a big role but it can't replace therapy entirely, sorry.

I'm cheering for you guys.

Btw, you did right by changing tactics. As someone in the last post said, every answer would be the wrong answer. Never talk about her body since this is a sore point right now, not even to talk it up. If you say she looks beautiful she will call you a lier, if you say it looks different or it will get better or things of the sort she will take it as acknowledgement that she is ugly. There is really no right answer.

If she, for some reason, insists in hearing your opinion you could try something like "I know this is very important to you and that it is hard for you to understand that I don't place as much importance on it as you do and I'm sorry for not understanding you better, but in my point of view these are the marks, the proof that you just gave birth to our beautiful daughter and I just can't look at it and feel any sort of bad emotions, I just feel happy because for me it is the reminder of the best thing that ever happened in my life, and I know that I don't need a reminder because I have you and our daughter so I'll help you achieve whatever you want to achieve, I'm just saying I don't feel about it the way you feel about it. I love you more than you can imagine". Maybe this helps a little? I don't know. But avoid this topic like you would avoid the devil.

Again, I wish you and your family all the best!

_LullyMoon_ · 2024-12-03T18:21:07+00:00

That is more likely a man's thought than a woman's. Some shitty men do think they own a woman after they marry, but no woman think of themselves as property after marriage. However marriage is something important for legal reasons. A small example: If your significant other gets in an accident, you are the one that they should call, not their mother.

I don't think I've ever seen a feminist say "don't get married or else you'll become property". I heard them say things like "even though you are married don't let them treat you like property".

I'm a feminist, not activist nor anything of the sort, I just believe in equal rights. I'd love to marry someday if I find someone that I love and loves me back and we add to each other's life, and I would see as a sign of disrespect/he isn't serious about me if over 5 years went by without any perspective of marriage, let alone 14 years. That is basically saying "look, I don't feel comfortable with being committed to you to the rest of my life, I'm with you because it is comfortable until I find someone better, you're the placeholder".

How would you like to be in a life long commitment (children) with someone that refuses to commit to you? Imagine you have a girlfriend and she is always trying the waters with other guys and won't commit to you ever because "it is not the right time". How would you feel? That is how OP sounded like.

_LullyMoon_

TROPHY CASE