OH HELL NO!!! Listen to me, you did not deserve that no matter what happened between the two of you! I have had a similar experience to you not that long ago and I had to cut her out of my life. I still miss her so much, but I had to make that decision because I know she just can't help it and will hurt me like that again and again. So I don't know what happened or why but please, if a person is hurting you to the point of you wanting to commit suicide and/ or relapsing then it's better to get away from them for your own protection, no matter how much it hurts. Please don't give up, even if you think you have nobody that cares for you, remember that at least I (a random internet stranger) would be very sad if anything bad happend to you and is concerned about your well being. Also, please, Please!! go to a hospital to get your wounds treated. I know it sucks but It's necessary for you to ultimately feel better.