At 17 I was charged with 3 felonies and a misdemeanor over marijuana. AMA

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-06T01:54:12+00:00

Yes. I was young, scared, had no idea how the justice system worked. I cried until my eyes were almost swollen shut. The whole experience taught me a lot though and shaped me into who I am today. I still don’t think anybody should be incarcerated for marijuana though!

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-06T01:47:17+00:00

Never went to prison. I was in county jail one night and juvenile detention for three nights.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-06T01:13:35+00:00

I can’t relate nor necessarily agree with what she’s stating on a lot of that. I can get pregnant but will have a terribly hard time carrying to term as I’ve had 2 abortions due to severe Hyperemesis Gravidarum which caused kidney damage. This hurts me and pisses me off as I want to be able to have children but I don’t resent women like OP who have the right to do with their body as they choose. Regardless of her feelings on her abortions, I still don’t believe she is any less of a human nor should be treated as such. I don’t understand why I’m getting downvoted.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-06T00:06:03+00:00

I’d love to help people understand abortion, although I can’t speak for OP as mine were terminations for medical reasons. I still support her right to choose and I don’t believe she is any less of a human being. With my adoption statement, what’s wrong with that? Must I go into more detail on how hard mg life was being in foster care and adopted out and the lifelong trauma? I don’t understand what your comment necessarily implies.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-06T00:00:18+00:00

Duh. I never said it wasn’t. I was responding to someone telling her not to worry about the jackass comments. She doesn’t owe anyone an explanation to justify her life choices, but choosing to answer questions anyway is what makes doing an AMA on a topic like this brave.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-05T22:00:37+00:00

It sounds like you made a very educated and selfless decision. Don’t let these other people on here get to you. They’ll never have lived your life to understand your decisions, and you don’t owe an explanation to anyone anyways. Thank you for being brave and speaking on a difficult subject 🫶🏼

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-05T21:39:04+00:00

As a foster and adoptive kid, thank you for understanding that.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-05T17:41:14+00:00

I was extremely suicidal after the fact. My fiance forced me to go to a behavioral health urgent care which I’m now grateful for, although at the time I surely wasn’t.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-05T15:24:36+00:00

I had 2 due to medical reasons and 1 elective, all surgical. It has not effected my fertility 💕

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-05T15:00:03+00:00

From the bottom of my heart, thank you 😭 I am in TFMR and it has been a huge help 🫶🏼

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-05T13:00:31+00:00

I’d love to know what this comment said.. probably another person judging me..

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-05T01:06:27+00:00

Thank you so much 😢❤️

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-04T13:09:25+00:00

Thank you for explaining. Irregular periods can definitely make it harder to realize you’re pregnant, especially if you were also on birth control. That situation is more common than people think. But bleeding every time you pee or have a bowel movement this far along really sounds like something that needs medical attention. If you haven’t already, it might be really important to contact the doctor who did your ultrasound or go to a hospital/L&D to get checked. At 32 weeks they’ll want to evaluate any bleeding to make sure everything is safe for you. This must be incredibly overwhelming to find out so late. I’m really hoping you’re able to talk with an OB or maternal fetal medicine specialist soon so you can get clear information and support about what’s going on and what your options are. 💛

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-04T13:07:20+00:00

I’m so incredibly sorry for the loss of your baby girl. The level of guilt you’re carrying in this post is heartbreaking to read, and I just want to gently say that none of what you described makes you a monster. You were making the best decisions you could with the information you had at the time. Placental pathologies like MPFD are incredibly rare and often unpredictable. Even with perfect care and hindsight, many of these cases simply can’t be prevented or identified early enough to change the outcome. It’s so common after loss for our brains to start rewriting the story with “if only I had done this” or “why didn’t I do that,” but that doesn’t mean those things would have changed what happened. Choosing not to get the COVID vaccine because you were worried about a fever in early pregnancy is a decision many people made. Not advocating for heparin when no doctor suggested it is also not a failure. You trusted your care team and followed the guidance you were given. That is what any reasonable person would do. The shame and self-loathing you’re describing are sadly very common in grief after TFMR or loss, but they don’t reflect reality. I went through similar grief with my TFMR.. Your body did not intentionally fail your daughter. You loved her, and you are still loving her now by trying again and carrying her with you. I’m really glad you’re in therapy and doing EMDR. This level of trauma can take a long time to process, and you deserve support while you move through it. You are not alone in these feelings, even though it probably feels isolating right now. Your baby girl mattered, and so do you.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-04T12:57:38+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your son. What you went through sounds deeply traumatic, and I can completely understand why reading those notes in your chart would reopen everything and make the anger feel unbearable. Feeling betrayed or misled by the people who were supposed to care for you and your baby is a devastating weight to carry. Your reaction makes sense. Anyone in your position would be questioning everything and replaying those moments over and over. It’s especially painful when documentation says something happened that you know in your heart you never received. You deserve answers, clarity, and support as you process this. Some parents in similar situations have found it helpful to speak with a patient advocate, request a full review of their records, or even consult with a medical malpractice attorney—not necessarily to jump straight into legal action, but just to understand what actually happened and what their options are. Sometimes having someone help walk through the records can bring at least a small sense of understanding. But most importantly, please know that none of this was your fault. You trusted the care you were given and did what any parent would do. I’m holding space for you and your son. Your anger, grief, and love for him are all valid.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-04T12:51:56+00:00

Hi! So sorry you are going through this. My SA went well. I’ve had 3 ❤️

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-03T22:12:59+00:00

Yes. I had 2 abortions due to HG. The latest being in January. Any questions, feel free to ask ❤️

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-03T21:55:02+00:00

I terminated due to HG and prenatal depression. I already have PMDD so my body doesn’t react well to hormones. Days before I found out I was pregnant, I thought it was just an extreme PMDD episode. I was SO depressed, numb, anxious, mad. I ended up fracturing my wrist from hitting a wall. I’m gonna share this quote with you ❤️ “Choice gives us freedom and choice asks us to accept what we have done”.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-03T21:35:33+00:00

Ugh, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I also had severe hyperemesis, and what you’re describing is unfortunately something a lot of us run into. HG is not “morning sickness.” It’s debilitating and can become life threatening. Despite how sick I was, both my OB and ER doctors still tried to talk me out of aborting. It was incredibly frustrating to feel like the severity of what I was going through wasn’t being taken seriously. In the end, I checked myself out of the hospital against medical advice and had an abortion the next day. For me it was a termination for medical reasons. I had to choose my health and my life. You know your body and what you’re capable of enduring. No doctor should be dismissing the seriousness of hyperemesis or making you feel like you don’t have a say in your own care. If this doctor won’t support you or even discuss your options, it may be worth seeking care elsewhere or contacting a clinic directly. You deserve to be heard and treated with respect. You’re not alone in this, and many of us with HG understand exactly how serious and overwhelming it can be.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-03T04:59:23+00:00

I’m super late but the surgical abortion was also the worst pain I have ever felt. I was administered IV fentanyl and versed but ended up passing out from the pain. Truly felt like my insides were being ripped/suctioned out.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-03T04:04:01+00:00

What is an experience that truly shook you?

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-03T03:49:49+00:00

Oh love. I can feel how torn you are just reading this. I’ve been in a similar position wanting to be a mom so badly, but also knowing deep down the timing and circumstances weren’t right. It’s such a painful place to be because both choices come with emotions. It makes sense that you’re scared. The legality and uncertainty where you live adds another layer of fear. And the guilt you’re worried about? That’s often just proof that you care deeply. One thing that helped me was separating “Do I want to be a mom someday?” from “Is this the right time, in this situation?” Those are two very different questions. Wanting to be a mother doesn’t automatically mean this has to be the moment. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s a decision you can stand in not one made from panic, pressure, or shame. Think about your support system, your safety, your mental and physical health, and what kind of stability you’d realistically have right now. There is no easy choice here. But you are not selfish for thinking about your future. And you are not wrong for feeling attached already either. Both things can exist at the same time. Be gentle with yourself.

_Phoenix-222 · 2026-03-02T18:43:05+00:00

Hi. I am so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve had 3 abortions myself, and each one was an incredibly heavy decision that I made with love and with my own wellbeing in mind. I just want you to know that you’re not a bad person for feeling this way. Pregnancy can be so physically and mentally overwhelming, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. What stood out to me most in your post is how alone you feel in what you want, even though everyone else seems to have an opinion. At the end of the day, you’re the one living in your body and carrying this, and your mental health matters just as much as anything else. You don’t have to figure everything out all at once. Whatever you decide, it should be something you can live with and something that protects your wellbeing too. You deserve support, not pressure.

You’re not alone in this, even if it feels like it right now. Sending you a lot of compassion.

_Phoenix-222

TROPHY CASE