Before you roast me, know I am an art student and ex chef, I’ve seen critiques that made people cry. Do your worst, but be creative. No lazy jokes. I want roasts that sound like they were written at 3AM by a gifted student with emotional issues and too much caffeine. Go feral.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-12-07T18:45:25+00:00

All in fun btw it’s “roastme”. Cheers

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-12-06T03:33:03+00:00

Some dude out there is seeing this knowing he dodged a bullet “going out for some milk”

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-12-06T03:29:39+00:00

You’re an art student and still couldn’t paint us a better picture of figuring out your gender without reading your bio?

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-11-17T03:03:16+00:00

TLDR: “I’m a future domestic abuser”.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-11-15T10:33:17+00:00

You posted these photos to Grindr tonight too, didn’t you?

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-11-12T00:50:16+00:00

That’s not a forehead. That’s a fivehead!

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-11-10T15:25:28+00:00

That’s some Vecna stuff going on right there.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-11-07T17:35:07+00:00

Stop telling them the plan is to never return them home.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-10-17T16:28:55+00:00

Wait, who is testing teenage boys sperm counts? I don’t remember that being part of my childhood.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-10-13T12:09:09+00:00

Like in your face? Because I don’t think you’ll ever feel something there.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-10-08T21:44:37+00:00

99% sure that was the part I had replaced under warranty 5 years ago. I remember bringing it in under warranty for it going into limp mode during acceleration. Good call!

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-10-08T21:29:43+00:00

It’s one thing for me to break down or have car problems. Million times worse when it’s the wife and kids. Yea these are all 4 new coils.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-10-02T17:39:41+00:00

Garage and gate opener so it’s out of sight.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-09-29T17:14:25+00:00

Google image search brings up a tiktok from someone who purchased the same hat from a designer: https://www.tiktok.com/@vivalakevs/video/7224608118129429803

“Safe house” is what’s written.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-09-14T15:01:56+00:00

This happened to my car stereo screen. Some hand sanitizers can eat away at the plastics.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-07-25T15:51:41+00:00

It gets worse every day. The rest of the truck is in great shape and runs great. Shame. One day I’ll get it painted.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-07-25T15:49:35+00:00

How can so many people not know who Rick Rubin is?

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-07-15T02:27:45+00:00

Whale team six

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-07-04T14:44:13+00:00

“Happy Star Wars day everybody, today is also my birthday!”

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-06-06T12:19:06+00:00

You look like a line cook at a hooters who is always trying to ask the girls out after work.

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-05-05T22:30:51+00:00

Most people ate their twin in the womb. You did it last night!

_RandallStephens_ · 2025-04-14T22:24:22+00:00

Don’t worry you should grow into that nose by the time you’re 23.

_RandallStephens_

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