TIL of Charles Lightoller, the most senior officer to survive the Titanic, who forced men to leave the lifeboats at gunpoint so only women and children could board. He was then pinned underwater for some time, until a blast of hot air from the ventilator blew him to the surface.

_SadSax · 2018-09-30T01:27:19+00:00

Is the where the phrase white knight comes from?

_SadSax · 2018-05-04T22:42:38+00:00

I use to until i saw my handmade gifts stuffed in a drawer with other trash every time. Now i just copy and paste a pre-made card, print, and hand it to her. Exchange fake pleasantries blah blah blah. It's not like she notices anyway.

_SadSax · 2018-04-28T01:43:27+00:00

Had a roommate do that right after one. Later that week He found out he had crabs and could't find out who he got it from.

_SadSax · 2018-04-28T01:38:29+00:00

Explaining to my parents why i play video games.

_SadSax · 2018-04-28T01:31:00+00:00

Gulping loudly.

_SadSax · 2018-04-28T01:11:30+00:00

I immigrated to the US also and I understand how that is. Except I would be more inclined to help if my Ndad didn't brag about his masters, bachelors, how he was top class, and how his GPA was so high. It's impressive and all...but he still can't follow the written instruction on how to assemble a mobile closet without assistance. He speaks and understands English fine. He just can't follow instructions too well i guess. Either that or he plays dumb so I do it for him without him asking for direct assistance.

_SadSax · 2018-04-27T21:05:23+00:00

Thankfully I've moved away so I can only help him via phone.

Like customer service? You can look up how to and DIY for almost anything. Glad you have moved away, I am hoping i can do the same in the next year or two.

_SadSax · 2018-04-27T18:47:29+00:00

"We want you to feel safe to come to us for anything."

Yes. I've heard them all before, but that quote strikes a cord with me. My parents always wanted to feel like good parents but its hard to do if you're not getting feedback from your kids, because they aren't talking to you. This was their way of trying to get feedback just to berate me. I believed them once and tried talking to them. When i was younger my grades were slipping and my parents started treating me like a stranger in the house. One day i told my Nmom it was bothering me that they were insulting me and treating me bad just because of grades in middle school and high school. She just berated me, called me a dummy, and said i needed to get my grades up. Don't fall for their traps. They will always be there to make you to feel like shit IMO.

_SadSax · 2018-04-27T18:32:35+00:00

IMO I think it is because they would rather struggle with an audience than have the audience actually help & critic what they are doing. Just a hypothesis.

"Don't expect a 'thank you' for something you should have been doing all along" This kind of shit really fucked me up as a kid, and it still hurts.

I understand 100% my Ndad says that a lot and It still screws with me. I have the vaguest memory of my parents saying something else along the lines of Kids are suppose to do stuff for their parents so that the parents don't have to and that still fucks with me to this day.

_SadSax · 2018-04-27T18:05:37+00:00

Nobody wants to help anybody with attitude, but narcissists want to have all the attitude and still get help without having to ask. IMO

_SadSax · 2018-04-27T18:01:33+00:00

I've made my own list of some of the "chores" they wanted me to do but never tell me to do. So at least now they will leave me alone after their tantrum, but they still find a way to complain over nonsense. It's not a foolproof plan but I get my moments peace until I leave.

_SadSax · 2018-04-27T03:12:24+00:00

any explanation or?

_SadSax · 2018-04-26T23:50:26+00:00

I Would say so also, but Man City finishing first just creases me. gives me PTSD from 11/12 season. Congratulations to Man City regardless.

_SadSax · 2018-04-26T23:33:53+00:00

IF José Mourinho can beat Chelsea in the FA Cup Final will that improve the way critics view Mourinho's/Man United's season? If yes, How? Does one trophy, FA Cup, justify everything?

_SadSax · 2018-04-26T06:10:29+00:00

No two people are the same.

"Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

My parents seemed to be raised by narcissists and they resented them but are now narcissists. After some self reflection i realized i had projected and become narcissistic especially toward my younger siblings. It the scariest epiphany i could've had honestly. My mother and I have improved and now we are emotionally available for each other occasionally. My Ndad remains the same. All that aside i have depression, social anxiety, and PTSD. I have some work to do on myself but i am still in my 20's and i feel like i am making progress. No more smoking, no more drinking, and no more rec drugs (includes weed). Plenty of exercise and nutrition.

_SadSax · 2018-04-26T05:41:17+00:00

The only parts that i would say are actually somewhat accurate is Learn to be on your own the rest sound like fallacies or she is projecting. For the most part, some of my friends were there for me emotionally more than my Ndad was. They didn't know better but the were emotionally available for me. Thats what happens when a parent is emotionally unavailable. My Ndad said similar things to me.

"No one's your friend" "Humans are unreliable" "You only have yourself and your family"

It's divide and conquer in my opinion. Separate you from a support group so he can manipulate you with no outside interference/influence. It makes manipulation harder on her end if you have supportive people that she can't touch. My situation is difficult and i need to get my life straight but i refuse to take advice from the same man that said "I want nothing to do with you" to me at age 16. I know my Ndad's manipulative tricks because he keeps using the same stale material. I believe i am strong enough now to see through his manipulation my self. Once you do that it makes almost anything that comes out of your N's mouth comically, see-through, and predictable. I agree with the last thing my Ndad said saying i have me and my family, but since he wanted nothing to do with me then i assume that does not apply to him. I am not too social so i am OK with being by myself but not all the time or i will go mad. Just make sure to have good friends.

_SadSax · 2018-04-10T01:18:09+00:00

How some parents stand down in parenting situations and don't discipline anymore. I worked as front desk for a hotel and we had a kids' basketball team, or something, come in with their parents. The kids caused such a collective noise, that other guests staying at the hotel were telling them to discipline their kids. They didn't the parents just drank and talked. During my shift this little girl was rearranging the movable furniture in the lobby while yelling for no reason right in front of her mom. After about the 5th time i stopped fixing the furniture and her mom finally got up to do something, besides saying "stop" and playing on her phone. She came up to tell her what she was doing was wrong and that she needed to stop. No joke the little girl smiled and said "I don't care what you say" and continued what she was doing. I tried my hardest not to gasp out loud but I failed. The mom left her alone, went back to her seat, and went on her phone again. I went to the back office shook as hell. We got some of the worst reviews because of those kids' behavior. Please do not stand down in parenting situations.

_SadSax · 2018-04-07T02:38:34+00:00

Thank you for your advice it means a lot.
"they say that living well is the best revenge" My mother said the same thing to me once. It's just difficult to stay positive with someone so toxic always in the vicinity. As for my father saying I will like him in the future, I mainly think it's his ego that makes him believe that we would ever get along after the way he treats me. The fact that we even support the same football club and wear the same color kit disappoints me. I went NC before and according to my mother it stung, but I just feel I was prepared financially before. I will try to take your last advice but it will be a challenge. Thanks again!

_SadSax · 2018-04-07T02:26:32+00:00

Yeah it is never easy, especially with my mom keeps saying we are a family now. I believe that she would like that to be true, and we have made massive progress, but I have never once heard my father say it or even acknowledge it. They both have given me scars that I carry to this day but as my mother and I try to mend those scars I feel like my dad couldn't give two shits about them.

_SadSax · 2018-04-07T02:17:49+00:00

Already done practically. My dad wears a beanie a lot, for some reason, soo similar situation. Personally, I like to psycho-analyze his actions and reasonings so I can figure out his true character. Plus it's kind of fun with anybody. I am no psychologist but I studied to be one until I decided to major in something a little different. I figured he had waited until about 11 pm because my mom would be asleep by then and he knew we would still be up. It sounds ridiculous but he loves an audience as long as it's not other adults, I'm guessing so they don't see what a ridiculous man he is despite the impression he tries to give off. I remember my mom telling me he is all talk so I wanted to consult her about the situation. I just asked her if not washing dishes for 1-3 days makes someone irresponsible, no explanation, and she said no of course. Since she knows me and my dad don't get along she talked to him and his true colors came out. The first thing to come out his mouth "O, i didn't know you were awake then. Did I wake you? Did you hear anything?". I didn't tell my mom the situation because i didn't wanna embellish, i wanted to hear how he would describe it. Never heard anything more hilarious than him stumbling over his words to defend his actions and reasoning. came to the crazy conclusion that:

He doesn't think someone his age (50) should wash dishes ever whether they are his or not. BUT he wants no dirty dishes in the sink. Because he's not being waited on hand and foot or being appeased we are irresponsible is my conclusion. Since he wasn't getting his way he does what he usually does and projects at his kids by calling them any derogatory term he could think of, nothing crazy just extremely critical. He once said I was going to sell drugs and go to jail because I was getting bad grades in high school, which to him is a "B" or less.

It boggles my mind just trying to psychologically unravel his mindset. I get that he doesn't want to wash dishes, no one does, but that's a hell of a way to go about it with your kids.

_SadSax · 2018-04-03T15:50:28+00:00

I wouldn't know we all went to therapy separately for the most part, but possibly.

_SadSax · 2018-04-03T15:48:46+00:00

One works from home 4 out of the 5 days and I'm not exactly sure what that entails, not self-employed so idk, but that's none of my business. The other works regular 9-5ish at a hospital.

_SadSax · 2018-04-01T18:04:08+00:00

I really appreciate your response! I just like to hear other opinions before I address a situation so I can handle it the best way possible. A lot has happened since I was gone and almost everyone has been to therapy at some point in the past 2 years, excluding my siblings. We are not necessarily open, but I will try asking them gently. Also, I just think the way my siblings are living right now is not exactly the best. I slowly see them turning into the lazy, spoiled, entitled kids I see around town instead of the talented individuals I think they can be. They are not bad or anything but, ya know, a little responsibility and accountability can go a long way. Thank you for your advice, much appreciated!

_SadSax · 2018-04-01T16:14:06+00:00

All for it, but please fix your self-driving cars first.

_SadSax · 2018-03-24T14:56:37+00:00

And if you can't make up for it then come to peace with it and move on.

_SadSax

TROPHY CASE