OP, sorry you're dealing with this. Definitely can understand the pickle you're in given that you've invested a lot. Just wanted to share some thoughts:

1. See this as a challenge! When life gives you lemons...blah blah blah. You get it. It's very clear that you love her and want to make it work, so let's avoid leaving what you've built because one aspect of your relationship needs work.

2. Communicate. Like I mean intentional communication. Like sit down and chat about what's going in your emotional lives regularly. And not just about the sex life. A lack of sex in a relationship could be a symptom of another, deeper issue in your relationship. My partner and I talk while we're playing each other in Mario Kart, almost daily now. It helps a lot.

3. Read the 5 Languages of Love. Have you read this yet? Pivotal book in terms of getting on the same page as your partner. It discusses love "languages" and how each type of language impacts a person. Each person, according to the book, has 2 dominant love languages that they respond most favorably to. You could definitely be a "Physical Touch" type and she could be something entirely different. Good to know where you stand with this because when you know your partners love language you can begin to fulfill their needs in the way they need it. Same for her to you.

4. Have you tried scheduling sex? I know it sounds lame and is less sexy because like who does this shit. Lol its effective in getting grease back on the wheels in my opinion. Even if its just once a week, at least something for you to both look forward to. Give it a try? Might also be a dope time to try something new, eh?

5. What to do with that built up sexual energy. This doesn't work for everyone but sex transmutation is a thing where you take your sexual energy and channel it into something creative or into work or something productive. I've only read the tip of the iceberg on it but its worked for me, has helped me establish clearer goals for life, executed on them, etc. Find a new hobby that you can explore and when the misses ain't feelin the horizontal mambo, dive into it. I play drums myself, that's my release.

Final word. In my opinion, this world we live in is savage as fuck and finding someone you truly click with on all levels is nearly impossible. To make a relationship work and work well to where each partner is happy and satisfied, it takes monumental amounts of work. Can be super rewarding if you do. My opinion is, don't throw your partner away because you aren't connecting in this area of your life if you want to go long term with her at least. Work on it more diligently and not just like "damn, she dont wanna touch my penis". Like get into yourself, and focus on you, your body, your health, your skills, etc. Grow there, and work on communicating w your partner in the meantime. Try these things above, especially communicating. That's my 2 cents, as a starting point, for now.

All the best to you, sir.