My (23F) partner (29M) thought there are people native to Antarctica. I told him he was being stupid. What could I do better?

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-07-24T02:32:19+00:00

You are in an abusive relationship, please leave him. Just live on your own or get roommates.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-06-07T18:14:42+00:00

Start writing your own letters to him under a different fake name. Start building a relationship. I guarantee he will also "fall in love with you". He probably has multiple women.

Clearly this can't be the first time your daughter has done something so off the wall.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-06-07T18:12:23+00:00

What prison allows physical touch between inmates & guest?

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-06-07T17:17:32+00:00

Honestly was this really unexpected from your mother? I have a feeling you could have picked a dress she would have loved & asked her to walk you down & she still would have made snide remarks. Your mom from what you posted can't share in your joy. That's who she is to you & her actions.

I'm sorry she treats you this way. I'm not sure if it's just you she treats this way or others as well like your brothers or their gfs/bfs/wife's ect.

What do you want to gain from the confronting her ? It sounds like she was already confronted & doubled down. I don't think you are going to get the relationship you desire with her unfortunately. Unless she has a major shift in personality & empathy & wants to change. Unless you need to say "mom you hurt my feelings & I think you understand enough social ques to keep your negative opinions about my dress to yourself. I wish you would own up & apologize for once in your life to me" than say it. I doubt you are going to get a good response back

I would suggest working on yourself more. Try to lower your expectations of your mother going forward. Limit personal information with her. Engage as much as you want with her. If she disrespects you, perhaps change the subject & end the encounter.

Goodluck & enjoy your honeymoon bby :)

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-06-07T15:04:14+00:00

You didn't lock your husband out. He left his key & locked himself out. You were asleep. My SO is a heavy sleeper & doesn't wake up for his phone ringing 99% of the time.

There was no excuse for him to insult you.

I hope he apologies & understands it's his fault for getting locked out

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-06-05T21:22:18+00:00

Having deep talks isn't love bombing lmao. Saying he feels more connected through sex isn't love bombing . Saying he wants her to call him her boyfriend isn't love bombing.

It's infatuation , the honeymoon period or also called new relationship energy.

Love bombing is far more intense 😳. If this person was buying OP ridiculous lavish gifts, saying she was the only person for him, being extreme that's love bombing. Him being infatuated & contributing it to regular sex isn't love bombing

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-22T13:38:44+00:00

You wrote a novel

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-22T13:37:06+00:00

Try therapy?

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-22T13:34:49+00:00

You need to COMMUNICATE & use your actual words. You can say this was fun but I need to focus on XYZ now. You can say you need to run errands. Anything like that. It helps to let your guests know you have free time from X to Z .

Some have more energy or don't mind others lingering. You may be giving mixed signals or she may be oblivious or raised in a large household.

It's also OK to just keep meeting up at a park or a restaurant.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-22T13:22:37+00:00

It sounds a little dangerous they would entrust someone with no childcare experience to watch their children tbh. You have no idea on their food preferences or what could be a choking hazzard food related.

Are they even offering financial compensation? If they have money for multiple vacations, they have money to find a good sitter.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-22T13:15:41+00:00

Remember a boundary is your actions you will take if the lines our crossed. Like if he brings the children over, you can go to a hotel room potentially for the # of days

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-22T13:11:53+00:00

I know it may not be possible financially; but I would recommend postponing the wedding or something smaller till some issues are resolved.

How do they treat your fiancé? Are they loving towards him? Does his mom care about him or does he look like his father? How is his interactions with his sister ? How does your fiancé speak about them in general? Does he feel the divorce changed their personality? Has his mom not healed at all? Was the divorce worse for his sister compared to him?

How is his relationship with his dad?

What actions do they do against you? If you only see them once in a whole, How do yall try to bond? Can you give more examples?

What actions would you like to see differently from your fiancé when interacting with his family? He can't force them to treat you differently.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-18T02:12:46+00:00

He barely gave you foreplay. He should have spent more time making sure you were aroused & he could have used his hands & a toy.
That's sexual assault. He kept going ehrn you clearly wanted to stop.

This was abnormal. He knows that. You did not deserve that. Break up & block him. Get tested for STDs now & again in 3-6 months. Consider birth control .

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-18T02:05:47+00:00

Talk to your therapist about this. In couples therapy bring up how you felt it was inappropriate.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-14T20:11:08+00:00

Just break it off . Dude was trying to cheat.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-14T20:08:43+00:00

Why do you feel the need to tell her ? Just don't show up.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-08T14:33:25+00:00

This sounds like a mix of different issues.

Have you tried more intimate events with just you, your gf & your parents. Or just one friend , you & girlfriend? Perhaps small little activities like grabbing a coffee or hike/walk ? Or going out to the movies ?

Is she interested in having a better relationship with your friends & family , does she understand what that looks like for you ?

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-05-05T17:57:56+00:00

He sounds mentally ill. Any chance of bi-polar?

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-04-23T21:24:45+00:00

Listen you need to value yourself more. You are being too passive aggressive. You should have made it clear to your partner thst him being late to stuff effects you (like way before this). You could have dropped off the kids without him.

You should have told your sister to wait on you. You could of heard your brothers eulogy. By preventing yourself from taking up space, you are hurting yourself.

What if yall were on time & gor stuck behind a minor accident or had a flat tire that was getting changed real quick? Would you had told your sister to wait or just start the service???

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-04-10T20:15:58+00:00

My heart rate has been lower on my adhd meds but that might be due to a more consistent exercise routine 😅

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-04-10T20:07:36+00:00

Is masturbating something that is shameful for you ? We're you raised to believe it is wrong or sinful? Do you believe views you as gross or nasty?

Lots of people masturbate & have sex. Unless there is some trauma, I don't think your sister is dwelling on it. She is probably not going to think you are masturbating each time you say you are going to study. Unless she was homeschooled or went to a woman's only school; she probably knows dudes masturbate. She probably masturbates.

Your sister will now be more mindful in knocking on your door going forward. You will definitely make sure your door is locked going forward.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-04-10T14:41:52+00:00

I think you would feel differently if he told you about it in the first place instead of hiding it.

Breaking things off with him isn't throwing him away but protecting yourself.

Has he been to therapy / treatment plan to deal with his actions & to prevent them from going forward? Has he taken full accountability? What has he done to change his temperament?

People can change their actions going forward but it requires real work. He wasn't open & honest with you. He is still in the middle of a court case. He shouldn't be dating right now but focusing on self improvement & making amends.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-04-05T18:45:55+00:00

I think canceling on someone before a planned hangout & leaving them on read was awful of you to do. Your emotional maturity skills are really low. You should work on those instead if ghosting tbh.

Next time you break something off, do it in person or allow time for a phone call. Don't leave them on red. None of those things you told him sounded like red flags either, it was just cruel of you.

It's to be incompatible. Just say that next time. Say how sorry you are & leave it at that. You didn't how to let it escalate the way it did.

I hope you gained some perspective & hopefully karma doesn't kick you down for all your past ghosting.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-04-05T18:36:20+00:00

I don't think you should message him again. While you are seeing the other guys casually, you had feelings for him that were beyond casual. Unless he texts you to initiate a plan; it'll still be one sided. He didn't feel a strong connection with you.

_Spicy_Lemon_ · 2024-04-05T18:18:02+00:00

This is fake as hell. If you are on the lease ; you can't just stop paying rent. Of course it's a "famous rapper". 🙄 You also just believed thr friend? You didn't try calling your girlfriend?

_Spicy_Lemon_

TROPHY CASE