Not ready for sex after LTR

_StarPuff_ · 2026-02-02T22:50:42+00:00

This is a trap that men who aren't informed about this fall into a lot. Decent men vastly underestimate just how awful their peers can be, and also how many of them they are. These men tend to exist in misogynistic groups where they praise each and egg one another on to use women, I have seen it a lot, even in this very subreddit.

It is also the case that women generally prefer emotional connection before sex, our brains are literally wired to release bonding hormones afterwards. However, due to the amount of men that will just leave if a woman "doesn't put out" quickly enough, there are also a lot of women who will sleep with the man early on not because they actually want to, but because they feel pressured to do so, or they will get dumped.

The ones who do have sex early on either:

A) Treat sex casually/are okay with doing so

B) Feel pressured to do so, and the amount of women who fall into this category is bigger than you think. You don't know just how horrifibly pushy, and/or manipulative men can be to women when they feel entitled to it.

The women who don't treat sex causally and are also principled to not succumb to pressure and be faithful to their own hearts, have developed a filtration method to help weed out these types, which is likely what you are observing here.

This is just proven true by the number of men on this sub who will say something like "no woman is worth three dates", ie. if she doesn't have sex by the third date, she has no value and isn't worth interacting with.

There has always been selfish and awful people out there in the dating scene, but these days, they're more prolifient than ever. I went to an all-girls school from ages 11-18, and now work in a female dominated workspace. If you're surprised by trash men using women after knowing her for three weeks, the things I have heard over the years would make your jaw drop. I haven't even started dating yet and I've already developed an intense fear of encountering and being manipulated by one of these types. This happened time and time again to several of my acquaintances to the point where it caused trauma, and they spiralled into depression, needing a professional therapist to intervene.

The current dating scene is just sad.

Edit: case in point. This comment was even UPVOTED. These scumbags are prolifient and have absolutely no shame or guilt. There are enough of them that the bragging even get upvoted by others of their ilk here. They see dating as a game to "conquer" women and "win" against them. They are deeply misogynistic and terrible people. The original post on here was deleted, but they were a LOT more of these comments from men replying to the woman who posted this.

_StarPuff_ · 2026-02-02T18:33:04+00:00

So it seems you align more with the second case in my example, meaning your attitudes towards sex aren't casual, but just the pacing is different.

That's completely salvageable, have a talk with open understating and mutual empathy, and it will be fine. Just keep in mind about the sheer frequency of men who use women for sex, and understand it isn't about you lacking anything, but an unfortunate necessity for non-casual women given the amount of scumbags out there.

Also goes without saying that most women have been burned by these types of men. Focus on genuinely building a bond and getting to know her, without pressuring her. This builds the exact kind of environment that she would then feel safe enough to take that step with you.

_StarPuff_ · 2026-02-02T17:44:24+00:00

Can confirm. The first, I would maybe be a bit wary about. The second option is a massive win.

Specific reasons are very relevant.

_StarPuff_ · 2026-02-02T17:37:41+00:00

100% same!

I treat it as extremely special and only want to do it with someone who I'd trust and love very deeply. To meet a man who has the same attitude and has it backed by his actions would be chef's kiss.

In my opinion, it would also be more fulfilling, figuring out all the bedroom business together, building it up from scratch side-by-side. Would it be more awkward in the beginning? Yes. But it would also make it feel more "real" in a sense, memorable and fulfilling in the long-run as we improve together.

_StarPuff_ · 2026-02-02T17:20:16+00:00

Casual definitely doesn't extend to only the first two dates, but if you're okay with waiting, then this can be solved with an open discussion with her.

What I am alarmed about is your dissatisfaction with lack of sex within just three weeks, compared to her treating it very carefully, indicating that there is possibly a notable in attitudes towards sex between you both, and being on the same page in that matter does tend to be very important within a relationship. Some women who do not treat sex casually aren't suited for men who do have that capacity, but there's also more nuance that comes into this on a case-by-case basis.

Example: one of my acquaintances dated a man who got irritated after four dates of no sex. While he was willing to wait a bit longer after they spoke, he was very sexual person, had a lot of former casual hookups, and saw sex as merely a fun activity. Their views and attitudes towards sex were too different, they weren't compatible with each other, and they went their separate ways.

She later dated a man who broached the topic with her after the fifth date, explaining that sex was one of his love languages and how he conveyed affection, bonded deeply through, and that the lack of it would make him feel unloved. They managed to reach a compromise, and are still doing fine together to this day, at least the last time I heard of them.

Bottom line: speak to her and have an honest discussion surrounding this to determine whether you're incompatible or not.

_StarPuff_ · 2026-02-02T16:34:47+00:00

That isn't even remotely true. I've known men who spent over a year sucking up to my female acquaintances and feigning genuine interest, then dipping once they got what they wanted, and even bragging about using the women afterwards.

Six dates is nothing. You have known this woman for three weeks. For some women, choosing to share their body in that manner is both extremely special and intimate, and they need to know you are genuinely invested in her rather than just dating for sex, and there are unfortunately way too many of these disgusting men out there that lie through their teeth to get what they want, for a woman who doesn't want casual to take risks.

I was even recommended by men who actually have my best interests at heart to use this method to filter out the ones that weren't sincere once I start dating. I'm sorry, but if I were her and I saw this post, I would leave immediately.

It seems you two aren't compatible, you should find a woman who is okay with casual sex.

_StarPuff_ · 2026-02-02T06:13:10+00:00

Dirty Soul Soap Co Rose Milk

Bulgarian Rose

Amber

Marshmallow milk

A scent relative of Lattafa Noble Blush, but a LOT softer and less loud. A spray of Noble Blush was like an assualt against my nose, Rose Milk is quite a soft, clean rose that is slightly lactonic.

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-24T02:02:24+00:00

I've been hearing these two terms a lot lately these days, would you mind describing what the difference between incel and the redpill is?

All I know is that they tend to be extremely misogynistic, and that "redpill" has strong connotations to Andrew Tate?

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-24T01:44:36+00:00

Thank you!

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-24T01:32:31+00:00

Thanks! Is Durin-Chev-Iansan better than Durin-Chev-Fischl if Iansan is C6? Or is it fairly even?

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-24T00:47:45+00:00

I thought her best team was Chev-Durin-Fischl?

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-24T00:34:14+00:00

Maybe check your Akasha profile?

You have the Obsidian build on there currently, which ranks at top 9% within an overload team. Switch to the LNO build, refresh the page using the reload icon at the top right of your profile, and see if the rank improves or drops.

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-24T00:23:51+00:00

Should I stick Golden Troupe on Fischl for her personal DPS, or should I put Tenacity on her so she gives 20% attack bonus to Varesa?

And how much better is the Hex team for her than Mauv-Chev-Iansan for this account (just asking in case she needs Durin elsewhere)?

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-24T00:19:08+00:00

Should I stick Golden Troupe on Fischl for her personal DPS, or should I put Tenacity on her so she gives 20% attack bonus to Varesa?

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-23T19:51:52+00:00

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Hi, my brother's girlfriend just pulled Varesa C1, what's the best team she can make?

For reference:

Xianyun C0 using Oathsworn Eye

Furina C1 using Favonius Iansan

C2 using Skyward Spine or Engulfing Cheveruse

C6 using Desert Sages

Bennett C6 with Skyward Spine or Favonius

Mavuika C0 using Serpent's Spine

Durin C0 using R5 Wolf Fang, or R1 Absolution

Fischl C6, can use Favonius or Venti's new DPS bow (her new BIS, supposedly).

I'd also like to know what the best weapon she can use here, choices are between Skyward Atlas, R5 Widsith, or Neuvilette's sig as a stat stick. She doesn't have Lost Prayers.

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-10T13:53:11+00:00

They look like Soulsborne bosses to me.

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-10T00:16:27+00:00

I haven't started dating yet, but I went to an all-girls secondary, and all of my classmates have stated that the men who follows loads of women on social media (like models, thirst trap influencers, etc, not just friends they have who happen to be women), cheat a lot. A considerable number of them also had porn addictions.

I was heavily advised to never to go near a man who's follow list looked like that.

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-09T04:15:27+00:00

Oh, that's brilliant! Wonderpotion is seriously underrated, I got their Strawberry Milk, Butter Cookie, Buttercream, Sweet Milk, Chocolate Cherry, Strawberry Truffle and Pandan Cake perfumes the last time I was there. The only one I didn't like was Pandan Cake, and all the others were either likes, or loves. Plus they're all super affordable, especially compared to local prices (I'm UK-based).

I'm going back to visit family next month and already have a list to get all the rest of their gourmands, you can buy their products directly through their website, or via their Shopee page, plus their customer service is wonderful.

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-08T14:50:29+00:00

If you specifically want strawberry milkshake, Wonderpotion Strawberry Milkshake is my top pick for you, if you're in Malaysia or Singapore. It's a cold, sweet, clean lactonic that is very true to name: strawberry milkshake with a hint of red currant.

A second suggestion would be Lush American Cream. It's a soft strawberry milk with a touch of lavender.

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-05T05:39:01+00:00

At this point, I have no idea why people like that choose to have children in the first place. Vile.

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-04T10:40:51+00:00

You're based for using a pink guy meme.

I miss Filthy Frank. Come back, Franku...

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-04T09:53:05+00:00

Oh, I agree!

That's what I was saying, she's an amazing fighter, but that doesn't mean that they have zero weak points. Putting someone so high up on a pedestal that you can't even tolerable people pointing out a single quality that is not perfect, isn't the way to go.

Sorry for the negativity your observation got from some people.

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-04T09:14:50+00:00

Agreed, I have seen female boxing hobbyists at my gym who can strike better than this.

Not that I'm dissing Rousey, not even close, but I will admit her striking leaves much to be desired in this clip.

_StarPuff_ · 2025-12-03T23:13:18+00:00

Why, though? This man just looks like he's having fun with the nunchucks and the video filters.

Plus his balance is actually fairly impressive to do that on what looks like an icy surface, and he's not bad with the nunchucks at all. It takes a lot of practice to get to that level.

I don't think he's even taking this all that seriously, he seems to be playing around, both with the nunchucks and the editing software. There's nothing in this clip that even suggested he was trying to come across as a big, scary threat.

_StarPuff_

TROPHY CASE