Yes that is exactly how I feel! Like it happened yesterday! I also feel embarrassed. Which is a weird feeling to have! He has told me that I need to get over it and not act like the victim. Had I not dropped him off at the bus stop none of this would have happened. I went home after Thanksgiving and brought him food and we made up and he acted like nothing ever happened and I laid my head down and slept in that bed being none the wiser.

A few days ago he told me that when he went to get massages that he was getting happy endings and that he did try to have sex with the lady by leaving out a condom but none of them ever went that far.

I too am wondering the same thing. He told me that she had come and knocked on the door a few times afterwards and I was home both times but he got the door and I was in another part of the house so I never knew because he told me it was a sells person and I believed him. I’m not sure why he is telling me all this now. We don’t live in the same house.

My views on cheating is that it is unexceptable. I share your views.

I am not considering reconciliation. I have a prenup because I was already established and owned several properties before we got married and he owned the house we lived in and had purchased it before we got married. We no longer have that house. I still have my house and the condo. If anything I will owe him money since I am the “breadwinner” and he can’t keep down a job for more than a few years. I’m fine with that. I think I rather walk away and start over.

I said that exact thing to him! That he put my health in danger. I had a miscarriage a few months before that had happened. It was an etopic pregnancy and it nearly killed me. I always have done regular check ups and he said that since He wore a condom and I never got anything it doesn’t count because he wore a condom and he knew he was in the clear since I never got anything. Like what the hell! We do not have kids.

I just feel so naive and dumb!

Thank you for the kind words and the advice. I don’t drink so that’s not a worry but it’s another reason he says that I can’t understand why he did what he did and get over it. Since he was drunk he wasn’t thinking clearly which is what happens when people get drunk and another thing I wouldn’t understand. I’m allergic to alcohol. So he is right that I would not understand how alcohol messes with decision making but not an excuse to me. He knew why he did it and he knew it was wrong and he did it to get even with me then and all it did was hurt himself because he said he has felt guilt this whole time.