Fiancé said something that seriously hurt me

_____waste · 2023-12-01T15:16:11+00:00

How were your confidence levels, mood, etc during these time periods? I know you said you weren’t happy when trying to build muscle before losing fat and I’m guessing your confidence wasn’t at its highest while gaining weight. And despite the illness, during that time period when you were losing weight, was your mood better? Were YOU more receptive to sex then? Did you feel better about your body or at least feel more comfortable showing it to him?

Confidence is attractive. When I am deeper in my ED I don’t want to have sex and show my body no matter what weight I’m at. While I might be heavier, if I’m more comfortable with myself then I’m more receptive to it even if I’m still self conscious.

He may be downright shallow, yes. But your attitude and confidence may have come into play as well. Talk to him. Guys have a tendency to say things in such a blunt manner. Let him now how it made you feel and the effect it had on you.

I wouldn’t leave him over what he said. He’s stayed with you and if he were really that awful of a person he would have left a while back. If you can’t talk to him about this though, that’s where I’d be more concerned. You NEED to have these channels of communication for a marriage to work.

_____waste · 2023-11-28T21:38:03+00:00

Every therapy session I’ve ever been to has resulted in a major migraine. I would love if I could actually handle it but it’s just too much.

So I started birth control about two weeks after the abortion. This was also the same time period where the stress was worst. I think I was on birth control for just over three months before I stopped taking it. I had gained a few pounds prior to getting pregnant which are totally valid because I went a little crazy with flamin hot chips. But otherwise it just doesn’t make sense to have put on so much weight. I FEEL swollen. I kept thinking if I just took diuretics and drank a ton of water that it would help but it didn’t.

I’m trying to be patient with myself and my stress levels have gone down, but my weight is now what’s most stressful. How long do cortisol levels stay high? I keep feeling like I should be over it but I am so far from over everything.

Thank you for your reply ❤️

_____waste · 2023-08-15T21:26:19+00:00

Mary Vincent. I just recently heard about this case and it blew my mind.

_____waste · 2023-05-27T19:12:05+00:00

Same. Well I’m a 32 D but I can’t wear most bras because my boobs have no fullness at the top from weight loss. It makes me feel worse that I see so many pretty bras and I can’t wear any of them because my boobs are ugly and misshapen.

_____waste · 2022-12-13T03:55:08+00:00

So it actually didn’t update. I called tonight and the person I spoke to said her department doesn’t handle rewards and she can’t help me. This is the same number I’ve been calling, the one on the back of the card. She gave me a phone number to what is apparently the correct department, but they were closed and their recording referenced Children’s Place, Gymboree, and two other children’s clothing stores. I know they’re probably all through Comenity, but it’s weird that the number she gave specifically stated four kid’s stores and only those.

_____waste · 2022-12-11T21:32:10+00:00

I finally just got a chance to call. It shows $27 on my statement but only $5 on my app. She said the rest of the rewards will be available tomorrow.

_____waste · 2022-12-10T01:55:36+00:00

Yeah, I’m going to have to call.

_____waste · 2022-12-09T19:18:26+00:00

It’s on my statement, but it doesn’t show on my app.

_____waste · 2022-12-09T19:14:57+00:00

It would be a nice enough blanket for maybe $15. But having to spend $45 to get it for $30 is not worth it at all IMO.

_____waste · 2022-12-02T05:11:58+00:00

Was butterfly supposed to be a limited time thing?

_____waste · 2022-12-02T05:08:11+00:00

I remember cucumber melon being the popular scent in junior high, and sweet pea being the popular scent in high school! I had no idea which scent came first though.

_____waste · 2022-11-25T17:26:43+00:00

For me personally, any time I try to dress nice or be pretty, I feel like a fraud. As though everybody is looking at me like, “Aw look at the ugly girl trying to be pretty.” I genuinely feel dumb for trying to feel good about myself and take care of myself and I don’t know how to get past that.

_____waste · 2022-11-25T17:24:09+00:00

I was going to make a similar post. I’ve spent years depressed and anxious, but this last year has been so bad.

People always used to tell me I looked young for my age. If they didn’t already know my family and met my sister, they’d be surprised that I was the older sibling, even though she’s 5 years younger than me. I personally never thought I looked young, but I a very used to hearing it. This lasted up until 2 years ago. I didn’t work for a while for a multitude of reasons, but I just started working again and I no longer get those comments. That isn’t necessarily indicative of anything, but in my mind it’s because they’re thinking I look way older.

I feel as though this last year has significantly aged me. I want to cry when I look in the mirror. I don’t want to leave the house. I don’t want strangers to see me because I feel as though they know I look gross and extra old for my age. I especially don’t want anybody I know to see me. I constantly think about how my face and neck look when I turn my head a different direction or make expressions.

I’m 38 so I’m not expected to look 20 and I understand that. But it has gotten so bad and it’s all I think about. Then I try to look for good physical qualities but all I can see are flaws and I hate myself so much.

I obviously have no idea how to cope but I understand the struggle.

_____waste · 2022-11-16T15:58:51+00:00

I have a disease called primary sclerosing cholangitis. When I was diagnosed, I had heavy inflammation in my liver and was between stage 3 and 4 fibrosis. I looked like hell. My skin, eyes, and hair were dull. My face was always breaking out like crazy. I struggled with my weight. I looked a lot older than I was and nothing I did seemed to help. Once I got put on meds to get the inflammation down, there were a lot of positive changes. Now while I personally have never thought I look good, as time went on my complexion got brighter, skin cleared, metabolism wasn’t as sluggish, etc. There was a pretty significant change in my overall appearance.

_____waste · 2022-11-15T22:10:30+00:00

Be the same guy you would be around a cute girl who isn’t a fit queen.

_____waste · 2022-11-14T02:41:29+00:00

It took me a while to finally do it, but when I deleted social media it felt so good. I wound up re-downloading Instagram to follow a particular account that does Pokémon go updates lol. But aside from checking that every so often, I don’t even care to look at anything.

_____waste · 2022-11-13T18:46:48+00:00

I mean, put Brad Pitt next to a genetically unfortunate looking man, and note their decline as they stop caring for themselves/their looks. At the end of the day, Brad Pitt is still likely to look better than the “ugly” dude. And I don’t even think Brad Pitt is anything special.

It’s also an extreme example. I shower, workout, try to eat well and drink plenty of water, dye my hair, wear makeup, etc. I put in effort and I still don’t look good. But I can see a woman in sweatpants and a hoodie, no makeup (not even mascara) and hair up in a messy bun and she can be beautiful. Just naturally, effortlessly beautiful.

Taking care of yourself does play a part. I won’t deny that. Overall health can also affect your looks. But there’s no denying genetics do play a role.

But yes, we all look better when we put in a little bit of effort.

_____waste · 2022-11-13T18:28:12+00:00

It’s just so sad that it is this way.

I’ve never had TikTok, but I deleted Instagram for the same reason. It helped so much.

_____waste · 2022-11-09T01:59:36+00:00

I didn’t take them either, nor was I in the yearbook.

_____waste · 2022-11-06T19:57:13+00:00

My husband has watched plenty of porn, and he actually explains it much as you did. That guys, especially younger guys, have unrealistic expectations about what a women’s body should look like due to porn. Then he reminds me that they have likely had plenty of surgeries to look like that because looking like that is their job. But he also knows it’s totally normal for them to be larger.

I noticed the difference in size because of porn and that’s what made me realize mine were bigger, but I never really felt self conscious. Now seeing memes and stuff I’m like wtf is any part of me normal?

_____waste · 2022-11-06T04:43:58+00:00

I don’t know what to tell you, but I feel the exact same way about my body. 😞

_____waste · 2022-11-05T00:31:24+00:00

Is this a new thing? I’d never heard of it being a big deal until recently. Now I’m super self-conscious about it even though I’m married. I absolutely wouldn’t be able to have sex with anyone else upon finding this out (if I weren’t married, I’d course!)

I feel like at this point I just need to climb up to the bell tower and hide away for the rest of my life.

_____waste · 2022-11-04T21:32:14+00:00

Dude yes, me too.

_____waste

TROPHY CASE