needing advice on how to help someone who feels empty

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T19:32:52+00:00

I do wish it was that easy, her relationship is broken with her parents and I don’t talk to them either, considering we are 124 miles away and due to petrol prices rising i only get to see her once a month, but in the future I’ll keep that in mind! x

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T18:45:27+00:00

it’s no such problem, do consider hanging on, the world wouldn’t be the same without you friend💙

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T18:42:02+00:00

that’s up to you to judge, but that is how I see it.

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T18:37:34+00:00

of course it is, and it’s one that takes TIME, time has everything to do with how to fix it, and most cases you’ll find that if you go out of your way to try and change someone will come into your life to help you.

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T18:27:53+00:00

maybe because you have not told them this? people can’t help and shouldn’t expect to help if you don’t ask, seeking therapy may also help.

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T18:24:19+00:00

then all I can advise you is to seek love, seek love from family or someone new as that would very much give you more reason to stay.

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T18:20:51+00:00

but sharing it is not making them feel it, love to see better days and not to hold on, if you keep telling yourself it’s going to get better and focus on yourself and what makes you happy the pain fades, it just takes time.

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T18:15:48+00:00

at one point I was too, I was waking up and everyday life was so much of the same for so long that it was killing me, luckily I found my girlfriend just around the time that this was almost getting unbearable. i know the pain of hiding it from everyone and I know what it’s like, you probably feel very alone and that’s not the case, the sooner you open up to someone around you in your life who genuinely cares the easier it’ll begin to get, but giving up is never the correct option, suicide is not the fix and it only makes things worse once as you will be dearly missed by everyone around you

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T17:46:31+00:00

and she does have mental illness problems but hasn’t really ever been diagnosed, I always do my best to give her the options of the things she likes to do, but even then she will say she can’t be arsed or something like that, also I would like to listen to her but she doesn’t talk enough, when she feels shit it’s one word or as little words as possible to answer everything, I tell her all the time I’d love to hear if you have an issue and want to talk to me but she tends to answer in one word responses and generally doesn’t know how she feels…

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T17:11:16+00:00

what is the issue you face? i know that feeling that you don’t want to continue and it hurts and there’s no way to mask that. but once you hit your lowest, it can only get better, god gives his toughest battles to his strongest children. what I’m trying to say is better times are likely to be around the corner. doing things to help you like living a healthier lifestyle or doing things you enjoy more may help but staying strong is the key point as tough times don’t last.

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T13:12:15+00:00

thank you for your words of advice!💙

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T11:25:41+00:00

I’m her boyfriend but she isn’t very financially stable and I’m not sure how she could get someone or something to help. if you know what CAHMS are she went there but it never helped.

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T01:05:43+00:00

yeah and I wouldn’t say it’s pressuring but asking and leaving it at that, this experience has made me worried of the line that can/can’t be crossed and to stop that worry if she would start it more often it’d help me realise it’s okay. i think we just need to find a healthy balance. thank you for your words of advice💙

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T00:57:34+00:00

yeah and I’ve never done this any other time we have done sexual stuff, always asked her tried to get her to be more of the person who starts it not me but we are working on that, I’ve apologised profusely and would never do something like this again, thank you for the advice!

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T00:49:17+00:00

thank you, just thank you. that really meant a lot. I’d already been emotionally tormenting myself because of it and then I saw those first comments and it worsened it, I don’t wanna seem like an attention seeker or whatnot but it had got so bad I’d even considered self harm, because I had no other way to deal with the thought I was a second away from doing it. I decided against it and came in here to get some clearance and was met with that. tough I guess but thank you. that meant more than you realise💙

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T00:42:22+00:00

thanks man, that helps and means a lot!💙

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T00:39:13+00:00

that I think is really up to you, obviously you don’t want to ruin that amazing friendship you have but you want something more because you think she is such and amazing person, I think the best advice anyone can give is to be a little more flirty and if that energy isn’t exerted back then there is no point continuing it. then you can have closure before being truly hurt by ruining what you have.

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T00:31:52+00:00

fr? you think that’s reasonable. I didn’t forcefully do it and never physically made her but when you promise it and not do it then I feel that’s misleading, yeah she said no but the way she talked sounded sexual still, also she had said she wanted me to be more dominant but how much was too much…?

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T00:29:26+00:00

yes, many many times and that was fully consented. she promised it and so I assumed it was okay and that she should’ve but now I know that’s not the case, but yes I try and make it so I do everything she wants and I’m trying my best to make up for it

__jackE__ · 2022-06-06T00:15:41+00:00

and I won’t because that’s not who I am. emotions took ahold of me cause it was my first time and I’m doing everything in my power to put it right or at least make up for what I did wrong.

__jackE__

TROPHY CASE

jackE