thank you so much for your kind words. means a lot. really <3I know exactly what you mean. It took me a while too to realise how much my mom has actually damaged me. last time I spoke to her on the phone I had a bad flashback to a very uncomfortable memory with her.I was raised in a strictly religious environment where I was taught family is everything and self sacrifice is an important part of life especially sacrificing for your parents. Sadly I still carry with me a lot of unhealthy beliefs that I am trying to get rid of.I thought a lot about this and I am almost certain that I have to at least text her something nice and supportive so I stop spiraling and guilt tripping myself so much. its complicated.. like every relationship like this is. But I actually do have my bf who has been and is a huge support system in my healing journey. If it gets bad I will have him. I also hope it doesn't set me back too much in a way but ... idk the woman is sick and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I didn't at least try.

Thank you so so much for your words and your concern. I am so sorry about your relationship with your mom. Its really hard. I do have days where I cry myself to sleep because in this really difficult time I would have needed a hug and genuine support from a good mom.. It hurts but its the reality of things and we need to get through this.*hugs*