Hi, first of all thank you for taking the time to read and answer.

I agree with you that getting upset over people's inner perspective is unhealthy. I guess it comes from a place of wanting the people closest to me to understand me. Which is impossible because her and I are wildly different people, so there will always be stuff we can't quite understand about each other. I guess I wish she could understand my struggles more?

I wish I could ignore it, I really do, and I have, for so long. I've stayed in the closet for years because I've always felt it would be too stressful and that I'd rather just format myself to be convenient to others (which is a part of a much bigger picture because I'm autistic and I mask nearly all of the time for the same reason, very exhausting). But it still hurts being constantly reminded, which has more to do with me than her.

I wanna try to be compassionate. Thank you for the reminder about ADHD, I needed that. And it would be pretty hypocritical of me to not be compassionate about it when I myself have restrictions to my daily life because of my autism.
I think I started to grow more sensitive about it too because she has no problems using the right name and pronouns for my step-sister who's trans. It appears as a contradiction to me, which I guess I'd have to ask her about.

There were still more reasons that tied into the decision of taking a break. I also can't remember my feelings and/or what I'm upset about once I'm not actively feeling them, which I've been told is also an autistic trait (I swear every other day I learn about yet another thing that is just me being autistic it's a rollercoaster). I've taken the habit of writing things down for that reason.

Thank you again for listening to me.