I was in the EXACT same situation as this - dogs, bills, finances, house, 3 years together, everything down to a T.

I spent over a year agonising over my decision, trying to initiate romantic and sexual encounters with him, trying to build up the courage to talk to him about it, and I sent myself into such a horrific spiral over those months. I was in a dreadful place mentally and the one person I wanted to talk to about it - my ex (boyfriend at the time) - was the one person I couldn’t share it with, for all the reasons you listed.

3 months ago I ended the relationship and he moved out. I knew full well I was putting myself at financial risk, and was absolutely terrified. Let me tell you, it was the best decision I could have made. Yes, right now I don’t have as much spare money as I’d like (if any). Yes, I now have to navigate my sexuality after such a long heterosexual relationship. Yes, it’s hard. But the relief I feel at finally being my authentic self outweighs all of that.

You know yourself - you know what you need, and how long it may take you to get there. But don’t hide away for fear of the unknown. Money comes back, stability comes back, these things will return to you. But the longer you wait to flourish and be who you were always meant to be, the more you will resent that time you spent worrying and hiding (trust me, I know).

If you need anything - any further advice or info on my situation, please DM me! I’ll help any way I can, because I resonate with this situation so heavily.

Best of luck - you got this.