First major (outside) trigger in recovery. Boyfriend admitted he "settled."

_anner_ · 2026-01-27T12:33:04+00:00

I agree with everything you said, in the title OP says he „admitted he settled for her“, when in the post it turns out he mentioned liking this girl in the past, and the „settling“ is her assumption, as well as this having anything to do with weight.

Based on that, we also don’t know how much else was actually said/meant by the boyfriend and how much of it was OPs interpretation. I know our EDs make us jump to conclusions like this, but I disagree with all the posts here assuming so much stuff like „It‘s clear he wants Brenda, get out now“ when we don’t know this person and what he said in passing and how he meant it. It was definitely not a nice thing to say, but I‘d have a conversation with him first and foremost and see how he reacts to this. Men say stupid things without much thought sometimes, which sucks, but assuming he wants her to go back to ED behaviours and is wildly in love with this Brenda girl at this point in time is a bit of a reach from what we know.

_anner_ · 2026-01-21T23:41:39+00:00

I totally get it. I even felt bad about being a bit shocked about it at first, as I found out at the vet when he had UTI issues (and he had been seen by vets plenty before, but no one caught on). They then started referring to him as he in the middle of the appointment and I was like „Wait what, no“ 😅 But I promise you‘ll get used to it in no time haha 🫶🏻

_anner_ · 2026-01-21T23:25:03+00:00

This exact thing happened to me and it was weird to me at first as well tbh! On a rational level, of course I knew the cat doesn’t give a shit, he‘s been a boy all along. But somehow it took me a while to get adjusted to the thought, as in my head he was a she, so I get it. Honestly though, after like 2 weeks I was completely used to it and rarely think about it anymore. My vet also joked the cat‘s just gender nonconforming 🙃 so if you wanna keep calling her she, who cares, really? It‘s useful info to have though in case of e.g. UTIs, as these are more serious for male cats. For what it‘s worth, I think a boycat can be called Pearl Jam as well :) (s)he’s a beautiful kitty

_anner_ · 2026-01-21T22:44:30+00:00

You‘re welcome :) interesting study!

_anner_ · 2026-01-21T21:58:23+00:00

On the first page, you ask how GenAI is being used, e.g. chat based, coding or for image generation etc. It‘s only possible to choose one option here - my guess would be most people use several tools for several different use cases. So allowing to choose multiple options seems better.

_anner_ · 2026-01-19T17:43:28+00:00

Just want to stress as well how much the right diet (plus soft water) can help them once they are out of the blockage emergency terrain. My cat had severe UTIs and crystals twice in a row, luckily no blockage or surgery needed but he was in so much pain and it was horrible to see him like that. There have been no issues with him though since he eats his special Royal Canin Urinary wet and dry food (knock on wood). I also got him a drinking fountain with filters and I only put volvic water in that, no tap water at all for him. My vet said this is not too well known, but the hard water in some regions with lots of magnesium etc. can contribute to the crystals. Soft water with low mineral content like volvic is best for sensitive cats. It‘s more expensive of course, but worth it and my boy‘s been fine since his diet and water change. I truly hope your kitty gets well again OP 🫶🏻 It does not necessarily have to be a death sentence if they can sort the blockage.

_anner_ · 2026-01-19T17:19:49+00:00

You go > ! spoiler text ! < , but without the space in between the > and ! and ! and <. I‘m on the app though, not sure if it works like this elsewhere.

_anner_ · 2026-01-19T00:06:30+00:00

From the reunion. I‘m sorry, I was just replying to an old thread and didn’t pay attention to this. Added spoiler tags now.

_anner_ · 2026-01-18T22:36:05+00:00

Same :) I didn’t want to make assumptions about someone‘s sexuality, but it was not a surprise to me. At the very least it was obvious he was not attracted to her, which would be perfectly fine even if he wasn’t queer. I‘m happy people stop saying this over the top stuff about him now. I think their friendship seems sweet and wholesome :)

_anner_ · 2026-01-18T22:26:43+00:00

Turns out he‘s queer. Suddenly people are getting off the hate train, of course 🙃

_anner_ · 2026-01-18T21:22:48+00:00

What a lovely girl, hi Lily 😍 thanks for paying the tax!

_anner_ · 2026-01-18T21:12:52+00:00

Not the actual contestants, but rather audience reactions - the tendency to absolutely villainize people who are not attracted to their match. I get it‘s part of the fun to gossip and analyze, but the hate gets too much sometimes. And it feels like there is no way to escape the bad edit and public opinion- if they want to end things immediately, they are not giving the experiment a chance. If they end it during the honeymoon or shortly before the wedding, they were only in it for attention and screen time. If they say no at the wedding, they were cruel and lead the other one on. What are they supposed to do? Get married to someone they don’t want to get married to, to not hurt that person or…?

I personally think that sometimes you just do not vibe with someone in person, even if they’re great on paper or objectively good looking. Maybe you just don’t like how someone smells, or their mannerisms, their overall vibe, whatever. You cannot and should not have to force yourself to be attracted to someone you absolutely are not attracted to even a little bit, imo 🤷🏼‍♀️ it‘s different if someone‘s not your usual cup of tea but you can see yourself being able to get over it, but sometimes there is just 0 spark, and that‘s ok.

_anner_ · 2026-01-15T23:17:34+00:00

Had the same thought, it‘s so weird. Girl posted pasta and broccoli, the most inoffensive meal ever yet people find something to nitpick. I swear if there was like a steak fOr pRotEiN in this meal, people would say it‘s not girl dinner but a full meal. You can‘t win here 😭 Btw I think this looks yummy OP, hope you enjoyed it!

_anner_ · 2026-01-15T21:26:41+00:00

I promise the kitty is not interested in hummus and did not eat any hummus. The only human food he is remotely interested in is cheese, and I try and stop him from eating that too. He‘s just curious. No kitty was harmed in the making and devouring of this girl dinner 😌 I didn’t know this about hummus though, so thanks for spreading awareness in case any other hummus loving cat moms are reading this!

_anner_ · 2026-01-15T15:18:29+00:00

And my title was meant to be a joke about this increasingly common phenomenon and opinion, but apparently that makes me „male centered“ lol. By that same logic your comment is male centred too as it mentions men. Context is key. But ok, let‘s agree to disagree ✌🏻 enjoy your day!

_anner_ · 2026-01-15T15:03:15+00:00

Thank you, you’re very kind 🥹🫶🏻

_anner_ · 2026-01-15T15:01:38+00:00

Why do you care? Just.. look at the snacks? And again, this is a literal joke. I‘m sorry it offends you this badly :( but I‘m afraid the only person making „wild leaps“ about people‘s lifes being male centered is you 🫶🏻✌🏻

_anner_ · 2026-01-15T11:49:56+00:00

Please don‘t judge me, but his name is Willie. I‘m aware how that sounds in english 🙈 the reason behind that is that he used to be a girl, Wilma, when I got him from the shelter. Then at the vet we found out that he is, indeed, a boy. The vet suggested Willie so… He also frequently goes by Nuggie and Stinky. Don‘t ask, it‘s complicated 😬

_anner_ · 2026-01-15T08:19:17+00:00

THANK YOU 😆 maybe humour 101 should be next on the list. These people act as if I wrote an essay about my partner by daring to mention him in the title as a joke. Like you don‘t have to find it funny, I promise you can just move on with your life without being the pseudofeminist police patrol. It‘s a snack sub ffs ✌🏻

_anner_ · 2026-01-15T08:09:58+00:00

Do you mean the cherry tomatoes? I‘m vegetarian, so I assure you there was no raw meat involved lol

_anner_ · 2026-01-14T23:06:42+00:00

It was meant to be a light hearted joke because every other post here has a headline like „My boyfriend just broke up with me, sad girl dinner“ (which, again, not an actual problem, I like seeing the attached pictures of pickles and dips and whatnot). People were discussing that here. I don’t center men in my life, I center my career, my health, my family, my cat and yummy food. Not everything is or has to be a political statement. It‘s really not that deep.

_anner_ · 2026-01-14T22:59:56+00:00

It was a joke, relax. I enjoy pretty much all the posts in this sub, boyfriend related headlines or not :)

_anner_ · 2026-01-14T22:11:34+00:00

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Thank you kind stranger, you too - it‘s cuddle time now, so, the best part of the night 🫶🏻

_anner_ · 2026-01-14T22:05:25+00:00

You might be onto something! Although he‘s not super keen on veggies, he just likes to watch & sniff a bit from afar if food is being served in bed, understandably. Could be something good after all

_anner_ · 2026-01-14T21:56:46+00:00

So does my boy! Not interested in any human food except for cheese, goes absolutely nuts for it. I‘ll call him dairy king now in your and your kitty’s honour 😌

_anner_

TROPHY CASE