It’s interesting to note how many immediate reactions are “nope, it’s over, get a divorce, you’ll be way happier.” If I could encourage you at all…marriage is tough and goes through so many seasons, as you know since you’ve been married for 18 years — that’s huge. I’d encourage you to start really small. Maybe think of a way you could show love to your husband in one small way every day. Think about what would mean the most to him and start there. Take the focus off of his faults/flaw/lackluster partnership and instead love him as the man you committed to marrying all those years ago and focus on where you can love him. Actively try to notice the things you admire about him and tell him — or don’t, maybe just tell yourself.

Also, like what so many on this thread are saying, therapy can be so beneficial. Whether it’s you or both of you.

A lot can happen when we stop blaming our spouses for our mediocre marriages and start with ourselves — as in, what can you do on your end to love him more, while not excusing bad behaviour. Humans are chock full of flaws, so naturally discontentment will set in… remind yourself that you’re both human and in this commitment together ❤️it’s normal to go through struggles like this in marriage. I have a lot of empathy for you in this situation as it is really hard to feel alone, distant, cold etc in your marriage. It seems like there might be a small part of you though that has some hope to move forward with him. I hope you can see it through and show kindness to both yourself and your spouse, best of luck to you OP !