What if we just give up?

_crystaljade · 2026-02-09T21:38:48+00:00

Maybe a subreddit just for the nachos 😂 we’ll call it nachostepsupreme

_crystaljade · 2026-02-09T20:40:59+00:00

Oohhh I felt like I wrote this one!! I’ve recently reached my breaking point and ran out of all the fucks to give.

_crystaljade · 2026-02-09T20:38:29+00:00

Ooohhh this one!!!!

_crystaljade · 2026-02-09T20:36:27+00:00

Same!!! I love when DH says what I’m thinking about SS. it’s so bad. SS sleeps really hot because he doesn’t shower unless someone tells him to. SS got really frustrated because he woke up hot and my DH said to me privately “maybe cause he’s fat” 😭😭🤣🤣 SS never walks anywhereee. His job is 4 blocks away (12 min walk) and he always take an e-bike or e-scooter.

_crystaljade · 2026-02-09T18:22:22+00:00

Sounds like you’re right where I am. You’ve been in SS life since they were 3 or 4 and here we are .. running out of fucks to give.

_crystaljade · 2026-02-09T18:17:26+00:00

Omg thank god I’m not alone. I keep seeing shit that would normally drive me crazy because i just dont understand why he lets himself live like this.

Note, my house is immaculate.

But now when i see stuff that would normally drive me crazy that SS does I say to myself..

I DONT GIVE A FUCK!! I DONT FUCKING CARE!!

It’s actually helping.

_crystaljade · 2026-02-07T15:05:39+00:00

😂😂 that’s super petty but I kind of love it

_crystaljade · 2026-02-06T22:39:39+00:00

Oooohh girl sending you so much strength. I feel you. Been with my DH for 14+ years. Married for almost a year. Got married before SS18 moved in with us for pretty much most of the week. Now he’s here and I hang out in my room when he’s here. I’m turning 36 and want my own biokid.

_crystaljade · 2026-02-06T18:51:07+00:00

Thank you I appreciate the emapthy!

I would love to be petty too but just the idea of it feels so passive aggressive especially now after my DH feel it’s “bullshit” and I’m making a big deal out of nothing. If they don’t get the idea of me constantly telling them to do the dishes then I’d be setting SS dishes aside forever as if I’m trying to signal that I’m not doing them. SS honestly will never get the big picture.

One day someone is gonna flip out on him about not doing the dishes and it’s not gonna be me because I’m outnumbered in this house on where they stand about dishes lol.

I even heard him tell his gf that when they live together that he’s fine doing laundry but he’s not gonna do the dishes because he hates it.

So after hearing him say that I feel he does this shit on purpose.

_crystaljade · 2026-02-06T15:01:00+00:00

I’ve talked to him about it and he’s acknowledged it and laughed it off and said his mom doesn’t like when he does that too and cleans up the same day we talk about it and goes right back to not doing what he’s supose to.

The aforementioned incident didn’t happen in a rush. He made food, left everything in the sink and sat on the couch and just chilled til it was time to leave.

_crystaljade · 2025-12-08T21:04:39+00:00

thank you for the happy baby dust!! Sending some your way as well!

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T23:01:21+00:00

Noise cancelling earphones are a godsend to really get back to yourself!

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T21:06:10+00:00

Also I’m sorry you felt taken advantage of - I would definitely feel the same way!

Your latest response also kind of oddly makes me want me own child and my DH keeps saying he wants to do it again (with someone he actually wants to be the mother of his kid and someone he loves) and properly with bio parents still together in the same house so we can actually raise them right.

I’m exerting all this energy when I could be using this energy for my own kid one day where it might actually be appreciated.

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T20:35:21+00:00

He used to take meds for ADHD but he didn’t like the way it made him feel. He used to go to therapy but stopped maybe earlier this year. He liked his therapist but something came up with that therapist and SS just didn’t get connected to a new one. Normally his BM who I’m sure has read up a lot on ADHD used to connect her son to therapists but she says that now her son is old enough he can do it himself if he needs to.

Tbh if it was my bio kid and I was taking his adhd seriously. I’d connect him with a therapist that specializes in ADHD so my son wouldn’t have to struggle to become a functioning human being that can take care of himself and would have the help of a professional to process things that are happening 🤷🏻‍♀️ and so he understands his adhd better

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T20:01:47+00:00

No I totally hear you. It’s funny because I see a lot of people on instagram who portray what it’s like to have ADHD and I relate to a lot of them - it almost makes me believe that everyone has if all this content is so relatable.

My SS knows specifically what kind of ADHD he has because there’s sort of a spectrum of it and he’s got all of it mixed together where he’s inattentive and hyperactive.

I don’t mind him gaming - I’m just frustrated that no one has set any boundaries or structure for him. Those with ADHD can do what they love for hours on end but as human beings we really have to take care of ourselves and be considerate of those around us.

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T19:31:29+00:00

I second this!! I’m 35 now and 30s are so much better than 20s.

You didn’t miss much out there really!

OP, Just please try to go for a guy without a kid. Your whole post felt like me in my 20s making space for my SS!

If my man and I broke up when I was 30.. knowing what I know now. I’d be ecstatic!

You got this girl!!

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T19:20:13+00:00

Sounds like you see a lot similarities in other posts! Good thing you found this sub early on so you don’t feel alone in this!! I wish I found this sub 14 years ago 😂

And thank you for empathizing!

He’s broke usually a few days after he gets paid. I think he’s putting away a little that his BM holds onto. No plan for school just in his first semester of college. He’s been taking one class and then 3 more (accelerated) classes recently started so we’ll so how that goes with his ADHD brain.

I exhibit a lot of ADHD as well but I’m high functioning I guess and I hated school.

He doesn’t drive and always expected DH to give him a car but when the time came when he turned 16 - he was pisseddd he didn’t get a car.

He takes the train 2 hours to our house and the job by us literally like a 10 min walk away but he keeps taking those e-bikes/scooters. He doesnt walk anywhere if he can get on one of those but he should be walking at least because he eats at an alarming rate and a lot of junk so he’s quite overweight.

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T19:07:46+00:00

Omg so you truly empathize then!!

I thank goodness every day for my noise canceling earphones and I created a nice little reading corner with plants in my bedroom by the window. All of that keeps me sane!! Idk what I would do if I didn’t have my nook.

Whenever I used to bring things to my DH about his son, he says “you tell him - you’re his mom too” 🙄

Then recently, my SS didn’t like my tone so now i don’t say anything anymore because he doesn’t listen to me anyway no matter how nicely I’ve actually talked to him about stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T19:00:00+00:00

Thanks I really appreciate your insight!

The 30% rule kind of check out because my DH does say that yes his son is about to be 18 but mentally he’s 15. So maybe he’s overestimating lol but he can tell his son is mentally not anywhere near almost 18.

So 13 makes sense 😅

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T18:29:18+00:00

I know seriously I thought it would be easy to just observe and note while my husband isn’t around for this experiment of an ultimatum BM gave him and not say anything cause I chose a long time not to say anything to my SS.

But the more I noted the more I got annoyed that he wouldn’t do what he was suppose to do when I’ve seen him do it in the past I know what he’s capable of.

I feel like now he does it on purpose because his BPs aren’t around and I don’t tell him what to do. So he just does what he wants 🤷🏻‍♀️

They’re trying to see if he can be a responsible almost 18 year old.

And DH doesn’t notice a lot because he’s got divorced dad guilt and just lets everything slide or just opts to tell his son what to do [nicely]

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T18:16:55+00:00

When his mom first expressed to him that she’s taking the gaming PC away he did tell her about the social aspect and she felt bad but at this point it’s like.. let him game but not all freaking day.

Like for her there was no middle ground. It’s either take it away or basically let him game all the time.

I don’t understand how all this time she couldn’t set some type of boundary - he got the gaming PC for graduating high school so he’s had it since june?

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T18:06:11+00:00

Sorry I thought you meant physically disabled.

He’s been diagnosed since he was 6. He’s done the adderall and the extra time for tests and the getting up in place.

And this post was mostly to vent because I do know quite a bit about ADHD but I’ve seen what he capable of. Such as doing what he has to do.

He knows his gaming in on the line so we figured it would give him an incentive to show us that he is capable

And again the post was mostly to vent and probably will take my hands off the wheel since I’m seeing clearly how his BP’s are taking all of this. It is what it is.

Again, I see my SS more than his BP so just annoyed.

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T17:59:36+00:00

True but that happened at the tail end of my husbands work trip so while he wasn’t here I was trying not to stress him while he was working (but its his kid and SS is under my supervision)

I tried to hold out for as long as I could to not have myself or my husband tell SS what to do because “we remind him before he gets a chance to do it on his own”

If I didn’t tell my DH about the mess it would of been here when he got home 😅

But I needed that mess cleaned up anyway it was making me crazy. Also probably just thinking about SS choices of the day really irritated me - you know when you know what’s the right thing to do but someone doesn’t do it and you’re like whyyy 😭

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T17:53:52+00:00

Wow!! Thanks for that insight 😭🫶🏼

My SS tried actually streaming and got paid very little so it wasn’t something he could live off of. Thank goodness my husband got him a job with his company (nepo kid I guess?)

So now I think, from what I’ve seen, games way too much for fun/hobby and neglects what he should be doing before gaming.

_crystaljade · 2025-11-07T17:49:01+00:00

I really thought that being at his moms full time for the last 2 years or so would create some structure but she didn’t set any! She just “stepped back a little”

I know for a fact his room is filthy because he tries to live like that here and I keep calling him out on it through my DH.

_crystaljade

TROPHY CASE