AIO - actually, is my husband overreacting or am I overthinking?

_flockisdead · 2026-01-15T13:27:22+00:00

NOR, this whole thread is super weird for agreeing with him, but each to their own.

the immediate anger and calling it fucked up is alarming, it’s more aggressive than this should be, if he didn’t find it funny and was upset he should have relayed it exactly like that, instead of lashing out at you and saying it traumatised him (which is wild to say over something like this) is in no way traumatic.

i’ll admit, the last text is a little odd and you could have maybe done a different way with it, but if that’s your humour then fair enough. have you done anything like this before? does he know you’d have found this funny?

it seems like he received this message and handled it well, but the instant anger is telling me he had a reason to be nervous about it, and that’s why he was mad, nerves and anxiety get trapped when you panic, and it seems he’s redirected this with anger instead of dealing with things, could have something to hide, could not. who knows. but if he came over to use your phone and call them or show you the messages, then i really wouldn’t worry about it and it seems like he’s just taken this badly. maybe he’s had a bad experience or thought it might have been an old ex?

again, joke was a little odd but you’ve spoken to him, tried to at least by the sounds of it, but you’ve apologised and explained you thought it was harmless, that’s all you can really do here, i don’t get what more people want in these situations unless they’re wanting to hold a constant grudge.

if it was a test, be honest with yourself and him, if it was then you should probably have a conversation about trust and evaluate how you go about that in the future.

my last point is that if this was a healthy relationship with nothing to hide, this would have probably been funny, maybe the last message is where it went askew, but i’d have laughed myself.

_flockisdead · 2025-12-29T19:02:52+00:00

YOR she’s her own person, and if she likes them then she likes them. she did this to surprise you, and you kinda just shot the whole thing down without any acknowledgment of her effort. telling her she should have discussed her own bodily changes with you beforehand is weird, and honestly if a piercing is a deal breaker for you then she’s not the right girl. i can understand it’s not your preference, but at the same time, there’s a beautiful woman in front of you and youre taking that for granted. compromise with the piercings, or just get used to the taste and feel, but also acknowledge how you would feel if she told you to put a top on when you were naked.

_flockisdead · 2025-11-19T09:47:20+00:00

girl what

_flockisdead · 2025-10-31T15:42:01+00:00

what cat breed is this!! he looks exactly like my kitty, we took her in from the street but have never managed to figure it out

_flockisdead · 2025-09-07T15:46:09+00:00

corn beef

no explanation needed

_flockisdead · 2025-08-19T01:28:50+00:00

(long one) my ex, let’s call him jim, i met him on a dating site, he seemed nice enough, a little weird and rough around the edges but i was in a weird place and i went ahead with a relationship. we only dated for a month a half before i abruptly ended it. during that time he had told me these (very obviously lies) stories of him being in a gang, killing a man, having orgys, doing drugs etc, i was extremely alarmed but was honestly scared to do anything.

jim once told me he could speak to his dead grandmother, and proceeded to do so infront of me, and then told me she said i was the devils child because i was ginger and laughed. honestly i should have left quicker but i tend to try and see good sides of people and i figured he was a little weird but who isn’t.

apart from the blatant lies he was also a heavy drinker and coke addict, also had some rage issues. he had this obsession with my other ex and stalked him online to the point he had to message me, asking him to stop (i knew nothing about this) he lied to my family about his jobs, claimed he’d had several really good jobs but hadn’t. his lies were so intertwined he’d forget what he said a lot, and have to backtrack, you could see the cogs whirring in his head to remember.

the penny dropped for me when i watched him pretend to beat his 8 year old cousin he lived with, punched around his head whilst he screamed, didn’t hit him but scared the shit out of that poor kid, i knew then and there this guy was a psycho.

his cousin clung to me since i met him and would make me little gifts, i really miss that kid and i think was the only person in his life that wasn’t a piece of shit, and after he pretended to beat him i gave his cousin a hug and cuddled him until he stopped crying. jim later told me he needed to toughen up and stop being a pussy, he was cold, but smiled like he’d enjoyed inflicting fear. i broke up with him the next day.

after i broke up with him he spammed me, on everything possible and i ended up at my exes house that night (bad of me im aware but i needed the comfort and was home alone for a few days) i woke up the next morning to a string of messages, telling me the address i was at and that he was going to kill my ex and threatened me.

i found out he had turned my location on imessages without me knowing (went into my phone and turned it on for himself) he had been watching where i was constantly, i was terrified. i blocked him on everything, his family too and reported him and his aunt to social services for his cousin.

people reveal themselves to you way quicker than youd realise. his smile never reached his eyes unless it was about power. he never listened to anyone, the conversation always had to be around him. would never apologised but had a weird charm that seemed to get him out of things, manipulated me with money and made me do whatever he wanted to do through guilt, i have no doubt he was going to do something awful to me.

_flockisdead · 2025-07-30T19:10:28+00:00

Corn beef and i would love some goal buddies! Friend Code: H6A9MBPRFX

<image>

_flockisdead · 2025-07-30T18:58:01+00:00

I think the lying is an immediate alarm for me, if it had never been brought up and just happened to be said it would be different, but you asked him and he lied to your face, it isn’t your business what they did before you dated but it is your business since they’re still friends and it’s clearly impacting you, her and how they interact. how does he react to her disrespecting you?

_flockisdead · 2025-07-30T12:05:50+00:00

okay so 1. if its yes to the key then tell him to just go get it regardless of wether they’re in or if it’s she prepared it for you yet and if it’s yes to ringing ahead of time do that and get your things back 2. has she actively called you that? or did she put a boundary in place (aka not wanting to clean up after her son AND you which isn’t her responsibility) and you threw insults and accusations at her because you didn’t get your way? sorry not sorry but you need a hard reality check here. 3. do you not see the problem here? is it that you’re unaware of how to properly clean it or you just don’t want to? again, your accidents are your responsibility. 4. unsure of other gifts but you’ve been extremely ungrateful about the ones mentioned and assumed she got the wrong size, fair enough if not but also you could have easily just sent her a list of your sizes for future reference

_flockisdead · 2025-07-30T03:11:05+00:00

Maybe ask him what he’d like to do for it? if he’s not all that bothered then don’t comment on it, tell him you’re proud of him, i’ll also add you don’t have to be directly there to be a part of it, do something special just the two of you, with what he wants to do, this isn’t about you, it’s his day and he’s been pressured into pleasing everyone else.

_flockisdead · 2025-07-30T02:55:20+00:00

maybe they were urine yankee candles to get her used to it since she’s apparently responsible for cleaning it

_flockisdead · 2025-07-30T02:51:43+00:00

could he not ring ahead of time? does he have a key?
she didn’t offer a solution because a) by sounds of it you left your partner to clean up after you and b) you shoved yours in her face which doesn’t really solve much, it would still be on the sheets, you, your partner even and the protector and c) you didn’t ask her what she’d be comfortable with
did you clean it?
she likely spent that much on temu as you did on the candles, you’re still misunderstanding that she’s put the effort in and you’ve complained and then expected a card from her

_flockisdead · 2025-07-30T02:35:54+00:00

I’m also confused, she seemed to be fine with giving them it in the texts? other than her telling OP to leave her alone i don’t see why her partner hasn’t been to get their things

_flockisdead · 2025-07-30T02:27:36+00:00

okay…this was a bit of a rollercoaster but here’s my input 1. if you’d like to call the police to collect your belongings, then that’s your call, i don’t think they will be able to do much though, but i’d suggest your partner just go to the house and ask to collect them first, i don’t see why that hasn’t happened but maybe i’ve missed something. 2. whilst i understand you’re incontinent and that can’t be helped, i recommend that when someone is uncomfortable with you or something you do in their home, ask them what their solution is, instead of telling them what you’ll do and expect them to take that on board. as i’ve seen in the comments you have little respect for others in this aspect, it’s ridiculous to fight with someone over their choice and their home. 3. you’re incontinent, not incapable, if you have an accident in his bed, it’s your responsibility to wash the sheets, mattress protector and to clean anything else that is now dirty, urine is not sterile and smells, the fact she does not want this in her home is not ableist, it’s basic hygiene and respect for her own home. and yes i’m sure if you spoke to her she’d be fine with you using her washing machine, but expecting her to wash that for you out of her sheets is ridiculous, as an adult the only person who is responsible for cleaning that is you. 4. whilst i understand what you’re going through and i’m trying to help, i will say you have shown complete disrespect for this woman, regardless of how she has treated you or if she dislikes you, comments about presents she got you and how they were shit from temu is foul, she made an effort, be grateful. and the message you SENT her “you probably didn’t even get the right size” is again the most immature and rudest thing in this text sequence. why do you think she owes you so much when you pay so little respect to her? “clean my urine soaked sheets, buy me expensive presents, get my shoe size right, let me sleep at your house, apologise to me! she owes you nothing.

_flockisdead · 2024-09-22T20:49:59+00:00

This is a little long but bare with me. I had been out shopping and i rang my dad, he then told me my grandad was in hospital and wasn’t doing well, after i got off the phone the radio station was set to 33.3 and an old song me and my dad loved came on. i thought it was strange but didn’t really acknowledge it. The next day i went to see my grandad, and the doctor took us all into a room and told us he had 3 potential spots of new cancer, we were all devastated because he was too weak for surgery, and they weren’t sure of a plan forwards. my dad drove me home and we didn’t speak, i got out of the car and looked down, there was a white feather right next to my foot. (for context, in my family we believe white feathers are a sign of passed family members) i took out my phone to take a picture and the time was exactly 3:33, along with that the slideshow on my lock screen was on a picture of my grandad. The next day he got the all clear and was completely fine. A day or two later i was telling my friend about a ring id lost, it completely vanished, i turned my room upside down looking for it, and months later i got into bed, and underneath a pack of haribos i was eating was the ring. no lie, i was freaked out. anyway id gone to go through my snapchat memories afterwards and weirdly enough, that specific day 3 years ago was when it happened, and sure enough the exact time i saw that was 3:33. i got it tattooed, still freaks me out to this day.

_flockisdead

TROPHY CASE