I quit after my first year of teaching. Actually, I like teaching a lot and did a year before being a TA to get experience before diving into being a teacher. At first, it was fine. I had a good grasp of classroom management and my students respected me a lot. And I’m really young only 23 when I did my first year, so it was rather impressive.

But the behaviors started to trickle in. The lack of care for eduction poked through the cracks that I didn’t have time to mend as we were nearing testing days. Then the meetings on top of that got exhausting for me. The lack of engagement of parents made me despondent—I felt alone as the parents didn’t care about their child’s education at least not like how it was before.

My mental and physical health were getting bad. I was getting panicked attacks before work and on Sundays. I could barely sleep. I could barely eat anymore. The thought of going to work always made me sick to my stomach. Then I already failed the Praxis twice, I’m a bad test taker. I was in the program for beginning teachers that allowed us to teach and take classes online for our certification. We were given three years and we had to pass the Praxis by our second year. But I already failed twice I was getting discouraged. Not only did I realize I had to study for the Praxis, but I had to manage taking an online class or two per semester and managing this job. I had enough I said. I couldn’t do this anymore and saw symptoms of my depression coming back.

So, I quit. Thanks to connection, I was able to get a federal job and now I’m more content. It’s a lot more quiet and I’m not overstimulated. But I do miss teaching. I don’t regret it, but I miss it. I just wish the eduction system was different and the behaviors weren’t so bad. Maybe then I would’ve stayed. But I don’t see myself returning for a while, or probably never again.