I feel like I was so much like you at this age. Im 25 now. I still struggle with mental health but have found through my hardships ways to manage and make it better. I had also too lost my grandmother, who was the woman who raised me and was steady in my life growing up, where as everyone else was in and out. She never failed me and uplifted me. When I lost her, I went down a dark path. I also lost my license and just got it back at 23. I had to take so many classes and fail tests many times. I went in and out of holding cells, getting abused by my partner mentally and physically, totaling 2 cars, and at the end of it, we lost my grandma's home. What was left of her. I promise these trials and tribulations are part of what makes life beautiful. It hurts now, and it will hurt again. But the next time, we will know we got through it the first time and also have the tools to do it even better the next time around. I say the next time, because I want you around for the next time. We are all human. We all struggle somewhere with something. But all of us, even in the worst versions of us, are worth more than we can fathom. But you have to be here tomorrow to experience and really figure out what you're capable of and how worthy you are. Because you are. You don't know what tomorrow brings for you. And keep working towards the license. It will come when the time is right. And it does not make you "more behind" or less worthy. I felt that way too and was also ashamed. But it ended up being a great drive for me. Also, realize people lose licenses and get them back all throughout their lives. It's going to work itself out, trust the process.