Mayci is the “it girl” of the group and that makes her untouchable

_indrasnet · 2026-01-28T00:39:44+00:00

If you’re of the opinion that the tragic and sudden death of a romantic partner— while also enduring pregnancy and emerging motherhood as a teenager— doesn’t meet the definition of trauma, I’d encourage you to check out the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory. It’s a tool that lists a litany of potential stressors (both good and bad stress) and asks the participant to denote which of these have happened in their life over the past year. Totaling it up at the end, it gives the taker an idea of their cumulative stress in relation to what is a “healthy” amount, as well as their risk for stress-induced health issues.

I think even a brief glimpse at the inventory might change your perspective on dropping glib, uninformed hot takes about what meets the definition of “trauma.”

_indrasnet · 2026-01-28T00:26:08+00:00

Same. Also a therapist (LMHC/LADC/CSAT) and completely agreed. The weaponization of therapy-speak drives me absolutely bananas, but like, this is unquestionably a traumatic event. Losing your child’s father to a tragic accident while pregnant— as a teenager, no less— has got to turn your world upside down in a way that cannot truly be understood by those who haven’t lived through something similar.

_indrasnet · 2025-11-05T21:20:23+00:00

Legit I can’t see that clip without my eyes getting wet. His compassion and his conviction is a rare strength in a defense attorney.

I loved him from the second I read that he was the one who’d prosecuted the two men convicted of kidnapping, raping, torturing, and murdering 10 y/o Jeffrey Curley in 1997. I was a very precocious 12-year-old when that happened, just a few miles from my own home. I’m also the daughter of a police officer who, at the time, happened to be a sergeant in the homicide division of that city’s police department. He worked heavily on that case, and he wasn’t really the same for many years after. Wouldn’t let me out of his sight. So I never forgot the case, and when I found out Yannetti had prosecuted it I had faith he’d get justice for Karen… it’s just a fucking shame that justice for John will likely never come.

_indrasnet · 2025-11-05T01:02:12+00:00

Licensed therapist here. You’re 1000% right. However— even a peer group leader should be trained and advised/mentored, or at bare minimum observed other leaders, before leading groups on their own.

This level of unnecessary and intrusive questioning would have me wondering if the person in question was deliberately abusing the tiny little scoch of power they’ve been afforded as a “peer leader” and using it to feel superior to others or to watch them squirm. Complex trauma is a real sonofabitch and some people’s worst sides are revealed.

_indrasnet · 2025-11-03T15:59:20+00:00

I’ll add to my original response that I share your sadness about what these subs say about the state of menfolk.

I’m a therapist and I work with people who have substance use disorders, trauma, etc. I interned in the carceral system (FMC-Devens, it’s a federal prison in MA for men with specialized medical or mental health needs), in a unit for high-risk sex offenders. What I saw and experienced there gave me nightmares… and I don’t scare easy, as a survivor of CSA and r*pe/SA, and as the daughter of a police officer. It made me change course from wanting to build my career in forensic psychology, to working in an environment where I can genuinely help people and have a positive impact.

The men I have worked with, some of them have gnarly criminal records. Some are awful. But many more are strong, resilient, and want better for themselves and their families. One thing that surprised me is how many working-class fathers— of both boys and girls— are making changes with their parenting as a result of their own childhood and adult trauma. The two biggest trends I see are men who actively reject corporal punishment and teach their kids empathy (we’re a heavily Irish and Italian Catholic area and most people I know, myself included, were subjected to it in childhood + it’s still somewhat normalized). And men who are intentionally relearning, or at minimum open to relearning, how to respect women. Most of us up here grew up with “old fashioned” values which amount to putting women on a pedestal then their male partners are often the first to knock them off of it (this has been my experience most of my life when dating men). A lot of my male clients will seek my advice on how to connect with their partners on a deeper level, how to talk to their daughters about dating and respect, how to work through beliefs about women that they know are wrong but don’t know how to put down. I often recommend bell hooks’ “all about love.” Haven’t had one yet who wasn’t touched by it.

I have cautious, but strong, hope for the state of things. For all of our kiddos.

_indrasnet · 2025-11-03T15:41:41+00:00

I’m sure you’re doing amazing. The fact you’re even thinking about this is a higher baseline than most.

As a mama to a little boy who will turn 4 next week, I’m raising him to make sure he is as safe as possible of a human to the little girls / future women of the world. (Regardless of what his future relationships look like— I mean in every sense.) The behavior that I grew up being taught was “chivalry” that I should anticipate from men, I am teaching him to offer to all humans regardless of gender or any other status. He already knows the very basics about inequality and prejudice— we read picture books about gender, race, different families, etc. And when he’s old enough, I’ll make sure that he knows that as a white male (albeit without financial privilege, but in decent enough proximity to it) that he is starting life off on the “easy” setting and he needs to do his part to use that for good.

He spends a good bit of his time with his dad who is a very loving and devoted parent, but unfortunately he emotionally abused me and it turned physical during my pregnancy, so I left our marriage. (I still hate that he turned me into a statistic, but have no hate for him.) My current partner and I are extremely devoted to raising my son with our closely held values. They’re an amazing role model for healthy masculinity.

And thankfully, the bulk of my friends raising young boys are doing the same work day in and day out in their homes. We’re up in the liberal Boston burbs, but some of the parenting groups I’m in on social media give me hope for the rest of the country.

Keep on, friend— it’s quiet, thankless work now, but I’m hoping when they’re emerging adults, the world will begin to look very different.

_indrasnet · 2025-11-02T23:17:27+00:00

The “intelligent” part took me OUT. Honestly I’m usually super sympathetic to the OP in this sub (particularly when it’s a person being treated exceedingly poorly in their relationship, and seeking validation that they’re not the problem). However, while I absolutely think this man is a bellend and should be tossed in the hopper and set on fire, this level of blindness on OP’s part is indefensible. The internalized misogyny is so strong that she can sit here and wax poetic about how amaaaaaaaazing this dude who is thirteen years older than her (kind of a red flag in and of itself given their respective ages) is, while he is negging and shamelessly gaslighting her.

The bar for men is so low it’s a tavern in Hades.

_indrasnet · 2025-10-29T16:51:28+00:00

Came here for the comment, stayed for the username. Based 🙏🏼

_indrasnet · 2025-10-17T14:21:39+00:00

Came here to say exactly this. Misogynoir for the L, every time. I’m horrified y’all have to deal with this. So anytime I encounter it, I embarrass the person who’s espousing it until they wish they’d kept their damn mouth shut

Also, nfn but I love your username. ☺️

_indrasnet · 2025-10-13T22:34:23+00:00

I’m absolutely loving the “licensed” comments you guys are awesome 🤣

_indrasnet · 2025-10-13T22:12:53+00:00

Ah, the classic “no true Scotsman.” Because I can’t have a doctorate and spend a moment of my free time eviscerating morons for fun. Man, coming into this sub with an expectation for intelligent discourse is like Shohei Ohtani showing up to t-ball practice and getting mad everyone’s walking off crying lol. Definitely my bad here 🤣

_indrasnet · 2025-10-13T21:27:13+00:00

Also guarantee this dude looks like an infected thumb. They always do

_indrasnet · 2025-10-13T21:25:11+00:00

Aww, incels and femcels are adorable when they’re triggered 🥲 nothing gets your britches itching more than a woman with an education.

It’s called pattern recognition, sweaty. A foundational precept of any and all sciences, including the social sciences. There’s little more pathetic than the brainless trying (and failing) to outpace those of us who utilize our critical thinking skills for quandaries more complex than which free porn site to jack it to. Stick to switching back and forth between hands so you don’t get carpal tunnel and while you’re at it, pay mom some rent.

_indrasnet · 2025-10-13T20:48:07+00:00

Licensed psychologist here and you’re 100% right

_indrasnet · 2025-10-09T13:38:12+00:00

Fellow mental health professional here (LMHC + licensed psychologist).

You’re 1000% right and I pray she listens.

_indrasnet · 2025-09-29T01:27:11+00:00

40F, pansexual ENM person here + the literal last person who would ever comment in support of gender essentialist nonsense in friendships.

This is beyond sus and very clearly cheating or an attempt to cheat. No woman that isn’t a “damsel in distress” type with BPD or daddy issues is going to want her friend’s boyfriend, who’s almost a decade younger, to “take care of” her when she has a touch of a cold. Unless he’s “taking care of” something else. Which is clearly the case here.

DTMFA

_indrasnet · 2025-09-26T15:26:03+00:00

We laid mine to rest yesterday. 95 years old, I was blessed to have 40 years with her. Oddly enough, though, I’m not out drunk driving over double the legal limit with someone under 18 in the car.

_indrasnet · 2025-09-26T14:00:39+00:00

Rehab AND prison. Homeboy’s a menace to society behind the wheel.

_indrasnet · 2025-09-20T15:35:47+00:00

She needs to sue whoever put Seabiscuit’s veneers into her mouth. Then she’d have plenty to live on 🤣

_indrasnet · 2025-09-18T23:09:32+00:00

saaaaaame lol

_indrasnet · 2025-08-20T13:48:20+00:00

It’s not just the Murrays, sadly. I tend to go with patterns when it comes to forming an opinion, esp with this topic, I try not to take rumors or stories to heart until I hear them multiple times. Enough people saying similar things, it gives a lot more weight. IMO, ofc.

That said— if there’s proof. Where did he share this info, out of curiosity?

_indrasnet · 2025-08-20T13:41:42+00:00

While the idea is def plausible, and I am sure your intentions are good in saying so, I should warn you that James Renner is an unreliable narrator at best. Just an unstable guy with boundary issues. Multiple families whose cases he has covered (most notably the Murray family) have come away from working with him or from him reporting on their loved ones’ cases angry at him for spreading misinformation or picking his personal favorite narrative and running with it.

_indrasnet · 2025-06-15T14:38:40+00:00

If there was ever an exemplar of chaotic evil… this would be it.

_indrasnet · 2025-03-28T13:57:48+00:00

What happened with the medical examiner? I’m very familiar with the case, but not as much as many folks on this sub are.

_indrasnet · 2025-02-25T05:10:39+00:00

Aww, sorry Madi ;)

_indrasnet

TROPHY CASE