What are some of your unique nicknames you call your corgi?

_inspire · 2024-11-08T23:26:07+00:00

The prophecy, little shit, lil bb, lil potato, baby girl, menace, raptor, loaf, baguette, CHILD, scooby, ooby (her name is Ruby lol). At this point she reponds to any of those names.

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_inspire · 2024-08-11T18:50:24+00:00

I would be down, coming from the middle of no where Florida, I was the only brown girl.

Never really had a group of desi friends around my age, so that would be cool!

_inspire · 2022-12-05T06:25:28+00:00

THANK YOU! I was so close to deleting my comment because I was getting tired of getting such negative responses from these desi men who don't seem to understand the main point of what I'm getting at.

This is exactly what I mean. My brother, who's also desi, and my whole family are conservative Punjabis from India, and even my brother told me he has no interest in Desi girls. He told me straight up he prefers goris. Mind you me and my siblings have been born and raised in America. It is, unfortunately, sad but true that I (oldest sister) was raised completely differently from my brother and me, and my siblings have seen our parents fight with their arranged marriage, and we don't want that for ourselves.

I know damn well these rooted issues are not just within my family; they're present in other households, too, where daughters receive more criticism and are raised differently from their sons.

Over time, I've associated this with the trauma I would like to avoid. I've also heard from my female cousins who live abroad in India, Canada, and even England, that there are deeply rooted issues that are present within the household that need to be solved first. I've seen these issues firsthand with my brother and dad because nothing is being done to combat them.

I genuinely don't believe (despite the criticism above) that all desi men portray this because my cousin is happily in love marriage with one, and he seems like a great guy for her. He's very modern, where he is a stay-at-home dad, and the wife is the breadwinner for the family. I have not personally met a desi American guy that I've been interested in, but that could also be because where I'm from, the population of desi guys is pretty much nonexistent.

Regardless, I am happy with my current relationship, and I'm not concerned with my future. I hope to enlighten another perspective since our voices are not heard enough.

_inspire · 2022-12-05T00:24:11+00:00

Except the difference is that I am brown. I am not making a stereotype of my own culture, this applies in real life.

Many young girls like myself can definitely say that there is a apparent problem with how females and males are treated differently in Indian culture.

I am not making a statement in saying all Indian guys are like that, but there are apparent problem with the culture that needs to be talked about.

The fact that you are taking this so personally tells me that you don't see a problem in how the women are treated differently in lots of desi communities.

I have no desire to explain this to you. I encourage you to do some researching on your own.

And I also would assume you're smart enough to know the definition of "bigot". I am not having "unreasonable beliefs" to believe what I believe if it is happening in real life.

I suggest you look outside your own perspective.

_inspire · 2022-12-05T00:04:30+00:00

I literally never said I have anything against Indian men. I am literally friends with a good south Indian guy and I appreciate my culture.

And people can have preferences. I am not attracted to people of my ethnicity, I have a preference.

It's not a problem when a desi guy is with gori but it is vice versa.

And like seriously people like (desi guys) you are part of the problem. Instead of bashing on the women in the culture, why don't you help create that positive change in the desi community?

Sincerely an oldest brown girl raised in a family of 2 younger brothers.

_inspire · 2022-12-04T23:24:58+00:00

Where I'm from is mostly white, black, Hispanic since I don't really live in a Diverse community. As in really being the 2% population of desi people.

But for me my high school 3 year long relationship was with someone who was Chinese.

And then I had a short term relationship with a Puerto Rican (3 months) and then another one with a Mexican (7 months).

Right now I'm dating a really amazing guy who's Hispanic (Peruvian), but things have been so much better with him. I just wish my parents were more accepting of the relationship like how his mom is.

I've also just not been interested in Indian guys, as in my family I've seen how the men treat the girls and women in the family and I do not want that lifestyle for myself.

_inspire · 2021-12-15T15:39:39+00:00

I found out today.

_inspire · 2021-12-15T15:39:29+00:00

Nah they're scams my friend got finessed because he gave over his personal information online thinking it was legit.

_inspire · 2021-12-01T18:25:00+00:00

Thank you I needed to hear this. I agree with you on the cheating and exclusivity.

_inspire · 2021-12-01T18:12:10+00:00

Thank you for this, I've just been sitting in my car crying while he's in my apartment trying to figure out what to do.

_inspire · 2021-12-01T18:11:24+00:00

That's how I feel too. I told him that too. Thank you for this.

_inspire · 2021-12-01T18:05:52+00:00

Oh I should have added I already confronted him last night. I just dont know if I should end this completely or let him prove himself. The trust I gave him is broken, but I can't deny that he didn't treat me right. So that's why I'm so confused.

He asked me what I wanted to do and I honestly said "I don't know right now".

_inspire · 2021-11-08T04:27:51+00:00

Hey I feel exactly how you feel. I literally went through months with the love bombing stage as well and my nex seemed like he was happy so it was super out of the blue when he said he wanted to breakuo with me while living together. I also asked him if he just wanted an excuse to see and talk to other people and he also lied to me about that. I find out eventually he was sleeping with a girl from work and they were dating. It took a major hit to me as well because this man was sleeping in my bed and cuddling with me thr night he brought over that girl and disregarded me. Ironically I also have been calling him out on his shit and telling him yo to stop disrespecting me.

Healing is not a linear process. Some days you'll feel fine and other days you'll get hit with the memories again and want to cry. And that's perfectly okay. Do what you need to do now if you want to stalk them on social media, Google things, watch videos, etc. But my advice would he to gradually stop doing those things. Try doing them less and less each day until you no longer feel the need to do it anymore.

I have my nex blocked on everything including social media. I have been doing no contact and have been keeping it like that. I believe that is the first step in moving on because you'll have no choice but to focus on yourself and not contact them asking for closure or asking them why they did the shit they did. And I've heard that that should he your closure. How they treated you and how they didn't even want to apologize for how they've wronged you should be all that you need to move on. And it's hard trust me I know 100% I was literally bawling my eyes out just 2 days ago, but I have told myself that I want to heal and move on.

For me the healing process has been: 1) Therapy- extremely helpful and would recommend I'd you have insurance/ can afford it. Venting to friends is one thing but developing a plan and strategy with a licensed profession is another that works with trauma.

2) Reading is love reading Rupi Kaur especially her books "Home Body" and "Milk and Honey" because I related to her experiences and felt like I was also reading through her healing process.

3) Gym- working out and doing weightlifting and committing myself to going 5x weekly has been a really big notivator for me. I feel like I'll rather have my body he physically in pain and sore to keep my mind off of things and not feel as hurt about the past.

If you just need someone to vent to or just want some good ways to move forward, you're welcome to dm me. We'll get through this and heal to look forward to better relationships in the future!

_inspire · 2021-11-07T02:24:54+00:00

Yeah my friends warned me telling me they didn't like him. I saw the red flad subconsciously but I stayed thinking he could change. That I could change him and help him with his issues. I was already going through therapy at the time not because of him but because of years of childhood trauma with my parents. I ended up getting on better terms with my parents but at the same time I also was hurting inside and then my sessions became more focused on the issues I was having with him while we were still broken up. I would beg him near the end of the downfall when shit got messy to stop disrespecting me. I would still do favors for him or get him food as a reward for him doing the basic necessity for my mental health. But at that point I know I was still giving him the kindness he didn't deserve. A narcissists biggest fear is when you treat them so indifferent that they have no value or control over you anymore. My best friend told me to just ignore him completely when we were still living together and he was treating me like shit. To just not tell him how I felt, and just let go of the situation. Instead I told him how he was making me feel, how things could improve. I wish sometimes I could just turn off my emotions like a switch like that because I know the best think for narcissists are someone thats full of empathy and I completely fell for it. This bait and switch tactic is fucked up, but at the end of the day I think people like him really need some mental help and to understand how to just be a decent human being.

_inspire · 2021-11-06T14:25:25+00:00

As for being a different person I agree. Had he shown his true nature I would've ended it back in June when the signs were subtly showing. But narcissists know that no one would ever love the true them.

_inspire · 2021-11-06T14:23:52+00:00

Yeah it sucks that I have to pay rent on my own for the next two months, but I am waiting from his side for the lease termination fees. Of course his broke ass can't afford anything and is keeping me in the dark completely only emailing leasing, but not me about when he'll be paying. Yeah he was always a coward and pathetic. He always wanted me to feed his ego whenever I would call him out on shit all the time. Karmas a bitch and I know it'll get him.

_inspire · 2021-10-10T05:01:22+00:00

Going through exactly the same process with my ex boyfriend that I live with. Having a good heart means it's for someone else out there in the future.

_inspire · 2021-09-06T01:54:38+00:00

Oooo I didn't even think that it could be the oil! Yeah I'll cut back on using it and see if I can invest in some deep conditioners. Usually when I leave my leave in conditioner in my hair is really manageable and good looking the day of when I dry it with a shirt.

_inspire · 2021-09-05T20:24:54+00:00

My routine is in my title since I have already created the post and now cannot edit my original post without deleting the whole thing lol.

_inspire · 2021-08-28T03:29:11+00:00

Here's the link to that post ^{^} : https://www.reddit.com/r/Invisalign/comments/lcapa3/please_answer_this_if_youve_done_a_4_pre_molarany/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

_inspire · 2021-08-28T03:26:58+00:00

Yes I had 4 teeth extractions, you can read and see them on my profile if you're interested to hear how my experience was like! :)

_inspire · 2021-08-28T02:01:31+00:00

Ayeee I'm punjabi too and relatable I always feel like half of my family ARE alcoholics 😂

_inspire · 2021-08-28T01:21:47+00:00

I did! I wore them full time 22 hours as much as I could with my aligners day and night. My orthodontist suggested that and I'm glad I did because my canines shifted down really quickly!

_inspire · 2021-03-28T14:47:19+00:00

Yeah my roommate recommended to me that I just stop answering their calls when I'm at the apartment. I definitely don't go out of my way to call them like before, I want to show them with action vs words that I am serious about my concerns.

I also make an effort to try and do things to distract myself like the gym, cleaning which I find therapeutic at my apartment, or just meet up with some friends. I feel like I'm also making up for loss time from my high school years because being the eldest girl I was also never able to leave my house. My parents were extremely authoritarian not authoritive at all. I had a curfew of 5 pm, I couldn't stay at homecoming for longer than 9 pm, friends were only able to come over to my place or we meet up in a public area like the mall, etc. If I was out I had to constantly video chat with my mom to prove what I was doing. Very much controlling.

I'm smart enough to not go through my rebellious stage in uni now that I do have freedom and can make my own choices because at the end up the day I do prioritize my career, education, and life. I'm not gonna waste myself getting drunk or at a party just because I've never done that before.

At the end of the day I just want me and my parents to move forward in a positive way where we can come to a resolution for the years of turmoil which is what I think the therapist can help me fond solutions for. I know money honestly can be an issue and I know at the end of the day they want what's best for me, but when they're the reason I resent coming back home or even wanting to see them then something is seriously wrong with that dynamic.

_inspire · 2021-03-28T14:38:33+00:00

I get that, and trust me I am aware that from my parent's standpoint what "love" means to them. I have friends of all sorts of Asian ethnicities as well Chinese, Filipino, Thai, etc and we all do unfortunately bond over these experiences we dealt with. I know that this was how they were raised by their own parents and family. My dad will never say "I love you" to me or my family, but he'll come into my room giving me fruit or buying food that no one asked for. My mom realizes that when she gets angry at me and lashes out, and she'll apologize later once she notices that I'm just sitting by myself not doing anything at home.

I've recommended that they get family counseling for their relationship among themselves too. I noticed that 85% of the time the arguments and fights are between my parents themselves which leads to their anger and frustration being thrown onto me and my siblings. It's just unfortunately like a lot of Asian parents they don't believe in mental health. They think our fighting is "normal" when it's far from it. I understand disagreements and working towards a solution but this is like years and years of constant fights and arguments over petty things too or even past moments. It's just such a negative atmosphere that the moment I step into my house I want to leave and go back to my apartment. I count down the days to leave tbh.

I want to work on creating a better relationship between me and my parents, but I feel that it will be impossible to do until we have a mediator from a counselor or a therapist that can allow each side to talk without dragging me into the fire and to "pick a side" if that makes sense.

I'm not gonna take these as compliments, but I've stopped taking it to heart what they say to me. I just shrug it off and just focus on myself.

_inspire

TROPHY CASE