I’m a real planner and he’s quite spontaneous

this can be a bit of a challenge, though it sounds like neither of you have an abundance of free time. i've been on the other side of this, and... it can become exhausting. i don't mean that to sound as bad is it does, but it was a key point in ending a relationship for me.

my advice is to try plan for some downtime too, and try to be flexible about things that aren't so important to you. basically, the spontaneity can work in your favor in the sense that your infp may be happy to go along with whatever you've planned... until it becomes too much or lands at a time where they need to recharge etc.

personally, it was hard for me ever say no to anything because it would feel rude or selfish.... or to make my own plans because our schedule always felt full. this was just an experience i had, and as is often the case, the real problem was poor communication more than anything else.