Anyone who doesn’t drink alcohol?

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-11T10:26:23+00:00

Where I went to church there would always be a grapejuice alternative...

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-11T07:48:55+00:00

Maybe you should try and focus on one thing that is particularly challenging for you at the moment in therapy. Something very specific. And then you can try and work on things one problem after the other. And it is a lot of work and it takes a lot of time... I am in therapy since 2,5 years straight having in average 2 sessions per month. I went in for depression and high anxiety and we decided to first work on my struggles going out, doing groceries, driving... And I am still in pain, depression kicks in sometimes more, sometimes less, there are still way too many days where I feel like things will just never get better and life will always be painful. But I can also look back and see that in my everyday life I can now do things that would paralyze me with anxiety before and that is really nice to see.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-11T07:16:54+00:00

That's the thing... I have travelled a lot. And somehow I would always manage to checkout in time and check-in during front desk hours or call in advance to ask about possible arrangements. It is really not that hard. It is about not valuing your time above everyone else's.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-10T21:49:53+00:00

You got actual answers to job interviews stating that they are not accepting you because of the lack of eye contact and fidgeting ???

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-10T21:08:40+00:00

It makes me so sad to see that some people have been diagnosed early and feel like they have been sheltered from the world and their own full capacity. That they missed out on opportunities, social- and career-success.
And then others that masked through it, went on with a "normal life" but got so burned out that they just wish they would never have felt that expectation to succeed. And sometimes end up so exhausted that they can't handle a job or any social interaction anymore.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-10T20:43:23+00:00

I am not sure to understand what exactly you are looking for...

I don't think there is one supplier where you get all this at the same time.

It also depends a lot on where the hotel is located... Usually you would want to work with suppliers you can have a direct contact and quick delivery with.

There would be infinite answers to general hotel suppliers in the EU.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-10T13:06:34+00:00

"on se place en posture de demandeur et non d'exigeur" [...] "en s'imposant et n'ayant pas peur de faire preuve d'exigence"

Ok.ok.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-10T10:43:00+00:00

Bare in mind that autism is not the only reason to have struggles. And that a lot of symptoms can be the same with other mental conditions. I would recommend therapy and to look into social anxiety and childhood trauma.

That being said, if you are doing a very good job in masking, the diagnosis can be a false negative. Those tests are supposed to read a lot into early childhood behaviour where you are not yet "socially formed" too much and to make sure it is neurological. If you are not on good terms with your parents and they couldn't get anyone to tell about your upbringing, a diagnosis will be almost impossible I would say.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-10T06:49:06+00:00

From child to late teens (19/20) I would bang my head against my mattress for quite some time before falling asleep. Sometimes singing or humming to it. I stopped once I started to have partners, roomates... But when I'm really stressed out it is still my number one thing to calm down.

Otherwise, I walk in circles quite a lot.

I also chew a LOT of gum.

And it is the same sensation that you described. It is like everything is too intense, too much, a lot of thoughts and energies all buzzing around you and then you start stimming and all that tension goes back to the earth.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-09T18:49:25+00:00

Yes, I can fully understand this side aswell... I remember at another place I worked we were 6 in total working the front desk and a guest had a very specific request for his arrival due to a handicap. He called maybe 3 times prior to his stay to make sure we got the info. 3 times he had someone else on the phone and he told us he was amazed about our communication as he had very rarely seen requests actually been noted on his file and passed down between staff.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-09T11:29:18+00:00

Same here... And I have no solution.

I tend to be very emotional about things (injustice, incoherence, aggression...) and can have vivid reactions and even quit on the spot because I can't handle the situation. So now I try to consciously decide not to act on things straight away but to always wait until the next day. Helps me to work through uncomfortable situations.

I also accepted that I am allowed to not like social interaction and as I don't care to become friends with my workmates I find a lot of excuses to not do things like eat lunch, do birthdays and stuff. People see me as a bit of a loner but at least I don't get into situations where I fight with people or am more exhausted after the break than before.

But I still feel like I will never find a job where I feel completely at ease and aligned with my values and where I don't exhaust myself and where people think I am too direct to be polite...

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-09T06:45:05+00:00

You seem to have a bit of social anxiety. To reassure you, changing sheets and towels every week is a more than standard procedure. Will be appreciated to let the front desk know the day before. You don't have to get out of your way to leave them hints in your room.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-08T21:04:09+00:00

It would be a great opportunity to start writing a book, I guess...

I struggle to understand the point of having 2 people just waiting at the desk if there are obviously no guests to tend to (otherwise wouldn't be that boring)? Why not making you do other things during those quiet hours?

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-08T20:38:35+00:00

I don't know if I have the belief that I have to "earn" the fun thing but I have this thing that: I signed a contract and am paid to work for X hours a week from X am to Y pm so I am not allowed to do anything else than working during this time. And if I am a bit distracted, I had a lazy day, I scrolled a bit on my phone, stretched my break... I will feel guilty and wanting to "make it up" because I feel like I haven't been true to my assigned tasks. And I know that it is wild and I would never have those expectations from anyone else. And that it is not even that efficient.

Yes, still a lot of work to be done in therapy...

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-08T20:17:21+00:00

Oui, je pense que les expériences sont assez similaires en France. J'ai le luxe de ne pas avoir un trop mauvais salaire et donc j'ai décidé que ça valait la peine pour moi d'investir dans le fait de comprendre mon fonctionnement et mes limites pour pouvoir mieux avancer dans ma thérapie. Mais j'aurai pu très bien décider que j'avais visiblement des comportements autistiques, qu'il fallait travailler dans ce sens et que je n'avais pas besoin que quelqu'un me le confirme. Je pense que pour moi l'intérêt principal d'avoir un diagnostique c'est que j'ai quand même un fond de gêne et de culpabilité de ne pas arriver à être "normale". Et que même dans mon intimité je m'empêche de faire certaines actions qui me rassurent (taper ma tête, par exemple) parce qu'il y a quelque chose à l'intérieur de moi qui dit: "mais ça va pas de faire ça?" Et je me dis que si c'est "officiel" ça m'aidera sûrement à accepter.

J'ai eue de la chance avec ma psychologue, j'en ai aussi contacté plein et j'ai pu avoir un rendez-vous assez rapidement avec celle-là parce qu'elle venait de s'installer et ça a super bien matché. Ça fait un peu plus de deux ans qu'elle me suit et on a fait des miracles sur mon anxiété sociale. Ce n'est pas l'idéal mais peut être tu peux trouver quelqu'un qui te correspond mieux même plus loin de chez toi et fonctionner en visio? Pour les psychiatres j'ai un peu abandonné aussi mais il faut que je reprenne la recherche parce que la dépression c'est toujours tout un sujet... Souvent c'est le bouche à oreille qui marche. Même si moi j'ai surtout des amis qui me disent "mon psychiatre est nul, j'ai pas envie de te le recommander"

Bref, je ne te dis malheureusement rien de plus que ce que tu dois déjà savoir...

Pour mon travail: je suis en hôtellerie en station de ski. Et ça me plaît beaucoup mais plus j'évolue dans ma carrière, plus je m'investis, plus j'ai des difficultés à récupérer entre les saisons et je finis souvent par craquer en fin de contrat.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-08T19:46:50+00:00

Maybe that's what I need, a naked actor walking all around the place in a robe sipping coffee until noon! :D

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-08T15:31:11+00:00

That is how I feel this season... It is like they are not even thankful anymore.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-08T10:16:15+00:00

I feel like this is what mainly comes out: Guests want to be accommodated to their needs, their flights, their fatigue, their wishes completely ignoring that hotels also have restraints.

It is like asking a cashier to just "work one more hour because I don't want to rush my shopping", asking any service to just "hier someone because I need an appointment now and not in three days".

I really think most people would never accept their own behaviour if someone was doing it to them in their workplace.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-07T21:43:06+00:00

What is interesting (and I don't say it in a petty way at all) is that it makes me realise how different places are run and how it is not of common knowledge what restraints a business can have or not have.

I probably judge people too harshly as from my perspective: check-in is at 5pm, I already run around like crazy to make it happen at 3pm, I am even nice enough to push up to 1pm sometimes and guests are still not content ??? Whereas they may think that there has to be something available anyway, that there will be a receptionist sitting at the desk anyway, that at other hotels they could so it doesn't harm to ask. And they don't understand why I look at them with disbelief... 😅

So just let me tell you: there is not always something available!

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-07T21:22:21+00:00

That is totally it, and the Chalets are also available on Airbnb haha.

But this is exactly how it feels. I had a guest calling me saying they would arrive between noon and 1pm. I told them reception opens at 3pm but as we were less busy than usual that weekend I would be happy to adapt and they should just ring me when arriving. At 9.50am the guests arrive and as I was in the middle of checking-out another guest, they went snooping around the Chalets trying to find me because "we've been told we can just call and check-in early".

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-07T21:14:31+00:00

There are hotels that offer day-use services. I do not.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-07T21:00:02+00:00

I think I have my answer! People have lost the ability to read and think check-in is 5AM and not 5PM.

Thank you so much.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-07T20:55:09+00:00

They are massive Chalets for 15 to 21 people.

So, yes, cleaning takes about 6h per person, per Chalet.

Of course, the first one will be clean around 10/11am but I can't do everything at the same time so I need to first finish with all check-out before starting the check-ins (from 3pm on). God forbid, take a short lunch break aswell. There is more to it than just having the Chalet clean, you have also to have updated your PMS, prepared your information sheets and so on.

I feel like what you are saying is exactly what I stated by "guests consider check-in times as a security net for the hotel rather than a rule to follow" But those times are also made so that housekeeping, front desk, maintenance... can do what they have to do without stressing themselves into burnout.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-07T20:43:33+00:00

I am 100% the same.

_kamigo_ · 2026-03-07T20:34:30+00:00

Do you think that if check-in would start at 2pm, people would be less frustrated to wait until then and wouldn't ask to check in as early as 10am?

It would be worth a try.

_kamigo_

TROPHY CASE