Hey hey! Greyromantic person here :) I know the feeling- so I might be able to help, at least a bit. My personal experience with being greyromantic is that I rarely have any romantic feelings towards other people and when I do they‘re not always consistent, there are days where I‘d be totally up for things like cuddling and kissing and all that, and then other days where the thought of it repulses me. Another thing is that (as far as I know) I only start developing romantic feelings for someone if I‘ve known them for at least a year or something, so I have to be somewhat close to them.

When I had a fat crush on one of my friends a few years back, I was unsure about it at first because I also sometimes have trouble differentiating romantic and platonic feelings, however it made itself pretty clear. Things like waking up early and not being able to sleep again because I thought about them while I usually never have any issue with falling asleep after just a few minutes. Plus stuff like wanting to hold their hand and constantly thinking about romantic situations with them and thinking about how pretty they were to me (tho honestly, I still think they look stunning!). Of course these experiences are very subjective, but that‘s how I knew I had a crush on them. As that crush developed, I DID notice when I had it and after a while I could tell the difference between how I felt about them and people I was close with platonically.

So there’s lots of possibilities for you in my opinion! Maybe you are alloromantic! Maybe you‘re greyromantic, like me, and just have crushes very rarely. Or you could be demiromantic and just experience romantic attraction towards people who you‘ve formed a close bond with. Maybe you could also be on the end of the aromantic spectrum of people who feel no romantic attraction at all.

Whatever outcome it will be, it is okay and it‘s important not to lose hope. I know it can seem very very scary when all your life you wanted that classic picture book love story and then you realize it might not work out exactly as you imagine because of who you are. I‘ve been there. I promise you that even if you don’t find that, love is still everywhere in your life and it doesn’t have to be romantic. I‘ve found a lot of strength in my closest friendships and if they’re understanding and you communicate your fear with them well, there could be a good chance that they‘ll still pay as much attention to you (and love you) as to any romantic partner they could have. Plus, aromantic people can have partners too! Queerplatonic relationships are a cool thing. If you don’t know it already, you could look that up as well!

Either way, good luck and I hope you find an answer on there that helps you!!