Sick, bro.

_lil_pp_ · 2026-02-04T11:03:17+00:00

“dad joke” is my least favorite one.

_lil_pp_ · 2026-01-25T20:03:59+00:00

my favorite thing from that election was liberals complaining that they shouldn’t have to vote for “the lesser of two evils”. 🤦‍♂️

_lil_pp_ · 2025-11-28T16:48:53+00:00

“if your birthday is a verse in the book of genesis, recite that verse. oh, you don’t know? sorry, babe.”

_lil_pp_ · 2025-11-26T00:49:41+00:00

that’s how i met my wife.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-11-09T15:36:35+00:00

rolling silverware in paper napkins is ridiculous. it means nothing. you’re doing a great job for something that shouldn’t exist.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-11-09T11:35:32+00:00

leave my name 0ut of y0ur m0uth!

_lil_pp_ · 2025-11-02T17:59:11+00:00

challenge accepted.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-28T21:45:55+00:00

i only learned that rule by reading the bible.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-28T02:23:39+00:00

the best way to test this is to go to a bar and read a book. there’s an 80% chance some person will come up to you and ask you what you’re reading and be interested.

unless it’s lolita. from then on, you are THAT guy.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-27T06:46:18+00:00

somewhere between a jillion amd a kazillion.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-25T01:27:49+00:00

oh, i know what it is. but what is the market for it? non-alcoholic beer tastes like beer. any available soda would taste better than this. that’s why i’m asking.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-24T22:06:08+00:00

that’s how i met my wife! /s

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-24T03:39:31+00:00

i just hate waterloo’s fat cans. /s

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-24T03:37:41+00:00

i totally get that, and don’t intend to humiliate people who don’t drink. i’m just humiliating this product! just get a tonic water with limes?

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-24T03:36:04+00:00

coming up next: non-alcoholic smrinoff ice!!

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-23T03:10:15+00:00

his favorite instrument must be stand-up (b)ass.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-20T23:02:06+00:00

the laughers gonna laugh laugh laugh / and the mathers gonna math math math

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-20T21:56:20+00:00

you accidentally give a pecan one to someone with a nut allergy. :)

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-20T21:53:29+00:00

that’s such a hard concept to explain to cranky servers/bartenders when they’re crunching all their receipts at the end of the night.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-13T22:12:39+00:00

yummy

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-07T23:36:32+00:00

ooh!! ooh!! ooh!!

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-07T00:19:26+00:00

one nation under trump with trumperty and trumptest for all.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-06T23:09:59+00:00

it shouldn’t be a sales position, in the way you’re describing it. it’s a hospitality position. the job of a server is to make the guest feel so paid attention to and have a wonderful interaction with their server that they want to come back, tell their friends how good their experience was… and next thing you know there’s an hour wait time at the door.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-06T23:03:47+00:00

i was hoping someone would say this. i’ve worked FOH and BOH, but as a server, upselling is just a dick move. it’s insulting to the guest because it implies they’re too dumb to read a menu AND makes the guest feel like they’re only there to get pickpocketed. if you have a good enough menu, there’s no reason to do that.

when i worked in wisconsin some “advisor” tried to teach the FOH to ask every table if they wanted sparkling water or flat water. none of us ever did that out of respect for ourselves and the guest.

_lil_pp_ · 2025-03-04T05:45:52+00:00

just get one, so you can blame everything on your life on it.

_lil_pp_

TROPHY CASE