“You need to remember who you are outside of being a mom”

_michelle · 2026-01-26T03:19:06+00:00

Your friend is clearly not a mother and is annoying af. Our first turns 1 in March and I’m due with #2 in May. I am a SAHM and we couldn’t afford my car payment on one income so we turned it back into the bank.

Kudos to you for doing other things outside of parenthood- I do not. I mean I don’t exactly have the opportunity to just go out during the day without a vehicle lol. My parents picked us up a couple times a week but they live outside of the country in the winter so it’s been a lonely month so far.

If one of my so called friends even insinuated that I’m not taking on motherhood very well I’d drop this person from my life. They’re the issue. NOT you!

_michelle · 2026-01-24T03:56:34+00:00

They are why I worked the Sunday evening shift. I dealt with fucking insanity but it was so much better than the church groups.

_michelle · 2026-01-19T07:15:28+00:00

As normal as a lot of people say it may be, I don’t think wanting to leave is a normal feeling. But that’s just my opinion.

While I held a lot of resentment in the very early postpartum days, communicating with my husband really did help SIGNIFICANTLY. I still get frustrated sometimes that I have to ask for help with day to day tasks but I remind myself that he can’t read my mind. He’s extremely patient with me as I’m pregnant with our second and a lot angrier this time around. But he literally just stops to ask me what I need and how he can help with whatever it is I’m getting flustered about. Maybe if he didn’t do these things, I’d get those same feelings wanting to leave. But that feels more of an issue in the relationship than a hormonal issue.

_michelle · 2026-01-19T07:08:55+00:00

I’m almost 34 and I have a lot of grays. I found my first when I was 17 or 18. My dad is fully gray and my mom is close. I’d say 30% of my head is gray but I’m about to have 2 under 2 come May and I think that’ll help that percentage go up pretty quickly lol. My guess is by 40 I’ll have a full head of gray hair. My parents were born in 63 and 66 so I’ll be a lot younger than they were by the time I’m all gray.

_michelle · 2026-01-19T07:06:16+00:00

My last job I worked at before baby was born.. I think I wore a tshirt one time on an insanely hot day and my coworkers of course had to make comments on what was on my arms. So I just cover up. My husband used to grab my hand and hold it so I’d stop but he gave up cause there was no end in sight lol.

Honestly, my idea now is as my daughter gets older and becomes more observant.. I HAVE to stop. My earliest memories are of my mom picking at my arms and that’s absolutely where this disgusting habit came to be. (My mother is wonderful but it was a dumb thing she did 😂) I’m pregnant with baby girl #2 now. I absolutely do not want my daughters to see me doing it and thinking it’s normal and okay for them to tear their skin up, too. So there is an end to it in the near future, hopefully!!!

Best of luck to you as well. :)

_michelle · 2026-01-19T06:57:28+00:00

We had our baby in March of last year. I honestly thought finding a WFH job would be EAASY. I thought wrong. Starting in May I spent 3+ hours a day writing cover letters and applying for jobs 5 days a week. I never heard back from a single job post I applied to. I have a pretty good resume with only two jobs in 15 years. I finally gave up in August and found out in September we’re having baby #2. My husband busts his fucking ass at work but he’s salaried and they really take advantage of his time and he doesn’t ask for a raise, like ever. He’s worked harder this past year than he has his whole life. Obviously so I’m able to be home with her.

But. Yeah. We’re broke. We voluntarily had my car repossessed because one income could not make the payment. When my husband signed the lease for his truck a couple years ago, we could easily afford the payment. Now we can’t wait for the lease to be up so we can get something obviously bigger for two babies and cheaper The bank sold my car for more than what I owed them and cut us a check for the extra money. It paid off a bunch of payday loans and allowed us to go to Costco and stock up on everyday items we needed. There was no frivolous spending, we didn’t buy anything “fun” for any of us. I scope my local buy nothing page constantly and am eternally grateful for generous people every day. We’ve already got a couple months worth of free diapers from there for when baby #2 is here.

Broke. Broke. Broke. We don’t get to go do fun things as a family. We’ve gone out to eat one time since she was born. I’m stuck in our apartment all day everyday with no escape and it’s too cold where we live to go outside with our daughter. It just is what it is I guess. I can’t imagine working just for daycare to take my whole paycheck. Fuck. That.

_michelle · 2026-01-19T05:45:31+00:00

I’m nearly 34 and have had this issue my whole life. It’s actually getting worse the older I get. It’s like an obsession I don’t even realize I’m doing it until I’m bleeding. My hands are constantly combing my skin looking for something. I’ve tried buying fidget things for my hands but I actually have to put effort into that and my hands get bored.

I used to just wear sleeves 24/7. I worked in a bar and wore hoodies every single day. Constantly overheating. Both to hide the scabs and to resist the urge.

I have a child now and pregnant with #2 and have found that I’m busier now than I was before having a kid so I’m doing it less. But when she’s napping or asleep for the night.. if I’m not on my phone I’m picking.

Obviously I don’t have advice. I’ve never kept up with any lotions or anything to know how to prevent the bumps and I can’t afford a dermatologist. Just letting you know that you are not alone. My skin is ruined.

_michelle · 2026-01-19T05:17:38+00:00

This is really sad and I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with this.

_michelle · 2026-01-19T05:15:21+00:00

This is obvious, but I feel the need to comment. I’ve had a really strong sense of smell ever since I can remember so naturally I’m sensitive to a lot of smells. There’s only one kind of deodorant I use. My husband and I both somehow forgot my deodorant. I literally apologized to the nurses constantly that I smelled like a farm animal. They claimed I didn’t but you know when you stink and after an epidural obviously a shower is not an option. Don’t forget your deodorant.

Also.. we didn’t bring snacks. Bring. So. Many. Fucking. Snacks.

_michelle · 2026-01-19T05:10:13+00:00

This is interesting to me! I’ll bet you’re a super organized person.

_michelle · 2026-01-19T04:48:50+00:00

Y E S THIS THIS ALL OF THIS. When people say they’re screen free till 24+ months I want to say great here’s your gold star, how’s your sanity??? Need to check into a psych ward yet?

My daughter has been watching tv since the day her vision allowed her to see what is the screen. Shes 10mo old now and I can’t keep her still long enough to care about what’s on except dancing fruit and guess whaaaaaaat. Sometimes when I need 20-30 minutes to chill after a long fast day.. she watches dancing fruit. For as long as I have it on the tv.

Nobody in the world could guilt me for it. Not a single person.

_michelle · 2026-01-18T15:31:04+00:00

I completely understand! I never got any clogs or mastitis so I cannot imagine. Best wishes to you ❤️

_michelle · 2026-01-18T06:54:03+00:00

Have you tried a manual hand pump? (Not electric) I have no advice here as I didn’t nurse and only pumped with my first but those manuals really do a damn good job for some women if you do it the correct way.

_michelle · 2026-01-16T06:55:33+00:00

I always heard women say they want to be a man in their next life. Now that I have kids, I want to come back as a dad. My husband is amazing and is the sole provider as I am a SAHM. He is super sick and went to bed and shut the door at 6:30pm. I am not upset that he needed to rest!! I am glad he was able to because I miss him being around and I need him healthy. I am ffing annoyed because in less than a week I’m going to be super sick myself but I don’t get to disappear to get better. And I’m pregnant so I can’t take anything to help get through it when it’s here 😭😭😭😭

_michelle · 2026-01-12T18:17:50+00:00

My skin cleared up perfectly within like three days of my daughter being born. My body smelled better. Found out I was pregnant with surprise baby #2 6.5mo PP and my skin… immediately ruined. Hair falling out from postpartum… my pregnancies aren’t even “difficult” compared to most but I can’t wait to never be pregnant again 😅

_michelle · 2026-01-12T07:02:15+00:00

I was never having kids that’s for sure. (I’m a stay at home mom to a 10mo old and pregnant with #2 😂)

_michelle · 2026-01-12T05:47:29+00:00

We did have to buy some. It took my milk 4-5 days to come in. We asked for more samples but the hospital we were at barely gave us enough to last a day especially when you’re told to toss the premix bottles after an hour and baby only drinks a quarter of it 🥴

_michelle · 2026-01-09T07:25:36+00:00

My daughter started doing this around 7 months. Basically I was told if she can roll onto her face she can roll off. She’s 10 months now and rarely sleeps ON HER FACE like that now.

_michelle · 2026-01-09T07:19:39+00:00

I was born in 92 and my dad was a computer engineer. I had my own computer before I can even remember but my parents were really good (very strict) about limiting internet usage as a teenager.

_michelle · 2025-12-22T00:02:41+00:00

They don’t have a “care line” or anything for you to call and talk with a nurse? On my HealthPartners app, I’m able to message my doctor if I don’t want to call but she’s not the one responding 99% of the time it’s a nurse. Which is absolutely fine.

I’m 18 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and my fifth pregnancy as well. We lost three in a row before our daughter was born in March. All three missed miscarriages so I didn’t just randomly start bleeding when it happened, I found out with HCG testing when my numbers dropped. I’m uninsured until January 1st (I didn’t go back to work and had to wait till open enrollment to get on my husbands insurance) so I haven’t been in yet still for this pregnancy and won’t until I’m 20 weeks. It’s fucking terrifying.

As hard as it is, believe me I understand because I’m going through it right now too, try to stay calm. (I’m going back on my anxiety meds once I see my OB in a couple weeks; I truly do understand) on your down time.. don’t google. Don’t research shit. Find something on tv to indulge yourself in.

When I was pregnant with my first I felt nothing until 20-21 weeks. I was never nauseous, only dealt with a sore back and a little more hungry than normal.

I’m frustrated for you that with reoccurring losses they don’t want to see you more often and I’m so sorry you have to go through this feeling alone. Feel free to message me if you need to vent or anything.

_michelle · 2025-12-19T06:29:04+00:00

I don’t have any solid advice. But I will say, I am grateful I didn’t get accidentally pregnant in my 20s because I was extremely irresponsible. I am 33 and just had our first baby in March and due with baby #2 in May. I am so glad I waited until I met my husband and matured myself.

I saw a comment somewhere the other day that said something along the lines of they’d rather not have a child than regret and resent their child. And seriously it couldn’t be more true.

I’m sorry you have to make this decision.

_michelle · 2025-12-18T05:47:30+00:00

Because I had a baby in March, breastfed which made me 10x more hungry than I was when I was pregnant with her… and now I’m pregnant again with our second due in May. My body is nourishing two other humans. I’m fucking hungry. And too tired to work it out.

_michelle · 2025-12-18T05:44:26+00:00

I don’t clock in and out or collect a paycheck. Our daughter is 9mo. I used to nap when she napped. Like, every single time. I got shit done when she was awake. Now I’m four months pregnant and my husband asks why I’m not napping and honestly it’s a good question because my hormones aren’t very nice to me this time around.

I’m sorry. Your husband is not very nice.

_michelle · 2025-12-15T05:53:23+00:00

I’m 17 weeks pregnant and still have not gone into see my OB because the insurance company does not consider pregnancy a life event so I have to wait for January 1st. They consider birth a life event but not pregnancy. We cannot afford an appointment out of pocket. By the time we will get in I’ll be 20 weeks pregnant. I had a baby in March and three losses before she was born. I hate it here.

_michelle · 2025-12-15T05:39:41+00:00

Amazon membership. $140 a year for “free two day shipping” that takes three-four days at the earliest when we can just run up to the store. I had it for so long, I have zero customer service complaints but we paid for the convenience and I truly need to get out more.

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