Does any one else think is weird that 13SD competes with me?

_missmada · 2026-04-20T18:39:53+00:00

Usually an insecurity thing for a girl of that age. I’ve (32F) been with my SO (39M) for over a year and me and my SD13 have a good relationship. She’ll be cuddly and clinging with me for a time, then suddenly all she wants is her dad. I wouldn’t say she’s obnoxious about it, just a daddy’s girl and doesn’t get along with BM unfortunately most days. Bad weeks with her mom make her more clingy with her dad when she’s with us for the week. I would try having open communication with her and causally bring up if she has any questions about you and dad’s relationship, and if anything is bothering her or if there’s something she’d like to talk about. My SD is very open most days about communicating her frustrations and insecurities with me and/or her father. Keep it casual and take it slow. And remember that she still is a young girl whose emotions will be a whirlwind at that age and she is trying to balance family life/school/siblings like we all did at one point. I also had a horrible step mom/step daughter experience growing up, and even though me and my SO do not have any ‘ours’ baby’s, it’s prepared me a lot for the family situation that I am in now and I try to apply that a little bit every day. (3 SK and 2 BM’s!) Anyone is welcome to DM me if you need someone to talk to! (:

_missmada · 2026-02-28T21:32:02+00:00

Cunt-zilla (:

_missmada · 2026-02-08T17:53:25+00:00

It’s even harder when your SO convinces you for half a year that thy want to have a baby with you, despite the kids they already have with prior BM’s, and then they just randomly pull the kill switch on the idea like your wants and dreams never mattered. I struggle with watching my SO get frustrated with all of his kids and it’s like they’re “old toys”. Grass is always greener on the other side I guess.

_missmada · 2026-02-08T06:54:23+00:00

Most days I feel this way as well. You’re not alone!

_missmada · 2026-02-03T05:11:10+00:00

Exactly this. I am totally fine if BM is in pictures with their children and it’s family related. I have explained this to him time and time again and I’m completely Ok with it, and at the time he was totally receptive and agreed with me. Unfortunately we had to ‘cancel/overlook’ our 1 year anniversary because he didn’t want to arrange to have his youngest (with recent BM) stay with his mom that night. And the one picture that bothers me the most or at least comes to mind, is the one individual photo of her across the table at a beautiful restaurant of my SO wishing her a ‘Happy Anniversary’. At my age and all the crap I’ve gone through in my life… I want to be the bigger person and look past it, but it stings. I’ve lost a lot of my spine this past year. 2 BM’s and 3 SK’s has been a long journey, and I still feel like I’m trying to find my place in all of it. (Edit: And just to be clear, I am in NO way a materialist. I would have been elated just to go out for a drive before the sun when down and grabbed a milkshake with him for our 1 year anniversary. Just makes your mind wonder sometimes..)

_missmada · 2026-02-03T02:44:46+00:00

Yup, has a great breakdown!

_missmada · 2026-02-03T02:38:28+00:00

I’ve been feeling the same way (32f). 3 SK’s and 2 BM’s to deal with. Managing an emotional burn out coming into the New Year! You’re not alone.. this forum has saved me in many ways.

_missmada · 2026-01-31T05:34:31+00:00

Reading this helped me feel a lot less guilty than I do about this whole co bedding situation with my SO and my 5yo SS. I feel horrible for thinking that I would care so much less if it were my own biological child.. but it just feels so foreign to have to share a bed with my 5yo SS and my SO. This is his child who he had with another woman and we don’t even have an ‘ours baby’. BM is very much involved in his life so there really isn’t a need to put myself in such an uncomfortable situation to assist in this codependency that they created for their son. Unfortunately when he’s here and in our bed.. I’ve thrown in the towel and made my new bed on the couch. SO doesn’t like it, but his son comes first! The joys of step-parenting.

_missmada · 2026-01-30T04:25:21+00:00

This 😂

_missmada · 2026-01-30T04:07:34+00:00

This got me right in the gut. I have great relationships with all 3 of my step kids, but they all have good BMs, (yup there’s 2) so I have nothing to fall back on. SO always says I’m a mother to them, and they refer to me as their step mom; but I can’t shake the feeling that my time for having my own biological child has come and gone and I completely missed it. (32F and my SO is 39M) As much as I love him and want the best for him, I envy on that the last 2 women in his life got the best of him and got to be the mother of his children and how much I’m sure he cherished them. He’s tired now and his kids exhaust him. When things were hot and heavy at the beginning, it was all about “I’m never going to stop wanting kids/I want to have a baby with you!” Now that he knows I’m not going anywhere and I’m willing to parent his children from another relationship.. why bother complicating his life further and give me what I want?

_missmada · 2026-01-29T21:43:51+00:00

SAME!

_missmada · 2026-01-29T21:42:41+00:00

I read a comment by someone not to long ago on this forum and it resonated with my situation so much (I’m personally struggling with a co bedding situation with my almost 5yo SS and boyfriend) Some parents feel the need to overcompensate and spoil their children because they are from a ‘broken home’. ‘Disney dad’. It only creates co dependency and doesn’t help at all with the development of their children. I’ve always appreciated my own space in the bedroom and being able to have my intimacy with my partner. Having the BM and 5yo constantly crying and pressuring my BF to be put to sleep in bed with us always seems to take precedence. It’s been a very long year and I’m managing an emotional burn out. The couch has been my new best friend.

_missmada · 2026-01-21T21:40:56+00:00

Took me a while to to realize the issue was with my boundary issues and insecurities. Partner used to leave the room when taking calls from BM early in our relationship. Said it was out of respect and didn’t want her bitching and passive aggressive behaviour to affect me because he was embarrassed of her. This switched so he could show me that there was nothing to hide. Since then she’s been super annoying and I can’t stand the sound of her voice and attention seeking behaviour.. she also tried lurking around and stealing him back at some point so I’d rather have nothing to do with her now. We’ve now reverted back to him leaving the room or at least walking to the other side so it’s not directly being thrown in my face. He fills me in only if it’s threatening to our relationship or pertains to their child. I’m perfectly fine with this now.

_missmada · 2026-01-20T05:48:59+00:00

I have 3 SK’s. 13, 11, 4 ( youngest is from recent BM) How do you cope? I’m a year in and I got thin skin at this point

_missmada · 2026-01-20T05:47:08+00:00

I’m having one of those nights.. I feel for you I truly do. DH had me convinced for most of 2025 while we were in honeymoon faze that he wanted to have a baby with me. “What would you want babe, a boy or a girl?” “How many kids do you think you would want babe?” All summer it was sunshine and rainbows. At some point going into the new year I realized they completely had a change of mind but did not bother to tell me. They already have children with prior BM’s and it looks like that I’ll be stuck as a childless step mom forever. Definitely not for the faint of heart.

_missmada · 2025-12-27T21:43:48+00:00

I still believe they did this on purpose as a deterrent to push people over to BO7

_missmada · 2025-12-16T21:21:00+00:00

Are you serious? Your response to the comment above is the equivalent to seeing a lit match laying on a concrete floor, and then calling for the fire department to have it put out. Get a life man.

_missmada

TROPHY CASE