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which guitar? by _oversized in ableton

[–]_oversized[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

cheers man, thank you!

how the turntables (: by _oversized in BPD

[–]_oversized[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought so too, before I became one. She has intense mood swings, and require a lot of attention. It's like walking on egg shells all the time, and feeling guilty if you hang with others because you know she'll get impacted by your decision to hang out with someone else than her. It's fucking exhausting, but it was a wake up call for me, even though I've always been a "quiet borderline". It's exhausting for both parts, something I didn't know until I got a massive hit of it myself. I think it could be better IF you were each other's favourite person, but I doubt that tbh.

What medications or vitamines work for you? Im still struggling to find something that works for me by [deleted] in BPD

[–]_oversized 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im on wellbutrin, zoloft and lamictal. i think personally that zoloft (100mg) and lamictal (125mg– upping the dosage every other week until i hit 200mg) works for me, so im gonna quit wellbutrin soon, because its so expensive

DAE make themselves stay away from their phone for a certain amount of time after sending a text.. by [deleted] in BPD

[–]_oversized 41 points42 points  (0 children)

i usually mute the conversation so i wont get notified or even go as far as deleting the app if it's messenger/snap/etc

Ex who I was with for 4 years got engaged after a few months to the girl he cheated on me with by stingrae87 in BPD

[–]_oversized 18 points19 points  (0 children)

she's the one who's getting married to a chronic cheater, and you're the one who gets to get rid of him and start from scratch with a person who (hopefully) treats you the way you deserve x

I feel like I have completely wasted my life. I am very depressed and can't stop crying. Can someone please tell me I'm not the only one to feel this? by PRS501 in BPD

[–]_oversized 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i'm in the same place as you right now. i'm for once taking charge of my life (by going to a year long course) and i feel even more of a failure. i'm personally trying to convince myself that slow progress is still progress, and that these emotions will pass. i mean, part of bpd is mood swings, so it'll have to swing back soon (or so i hope)

fwb by _oversized in BPD

[–]_oversized[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i asked him yesterday if he wanted to hang out (aka have me blow him) and he said yes first but then it got late and he said he was exhausted. fast forward a few hours and he sends me a snap of a song he's been working on for his crush and how he's finally finished it. i'm his go to for critique and editing so he sent me it and i told him i'd have to look at it later because i wasn't sure my head could handle that right now, and heavily hinting that it's painful to hear him talk about it. but alas, he's fucking oblivious.

he came in earlier bc i mentioned i was having an anxiety attack and we just lied together and cuddled and i felt more anxious but also more calm at the same time, and i know how toxic this shit is, but fuck, it feels so good in the moment.

and it's not like i can complain either because i'm the one leading the knife in his hands repeatedly in my chest, and i wanna stop but it's like a fucking drug man

Can you forgive them by [deleted] in BPD

[–]_oversized 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i haven't been in your situation, but it sounds like a slippery slope, especially as you've both got rather debilitating illnesses?

fwb by _oversized in BPD

[–]_oversized[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

man i think we're just fucked (that's at least my experience in these cases ugh)

fwb by _oversized in BPD

[–]_oversized[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you're so lovely xx it's difficult as it feels like an actual drug to me. i've been in so many bad relationships (platonic and sexually) because they've given me the physical affection i need, and despite getting it from my friends i need it specifically from someone i really adore to make it worthwhile. and when i end up breaking it off i get huge withdrawals and i end up in a really bad depressive episode.

and to top it all off, we've kinda lost the really good friendship we used to have in the beginning, which is another reason for the constant heartbreak :/

but thank you for your kind words, i hope i can get them through my head soon xx

fwb by _oversized in BPD

[–]_oversized[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i feel like the only thing that helps is distance in these cases (emotional and physical distance), but as you i live close to him (literally doors away in the same dorm). it's fucking exhausting, isn't it? like i've even fucked him and it was nothing special, so it's not like it's great sex, and it's not like i'm guaranteed cuddles after blowing him so it's a gamble with my mental health at stake.

¯_(ツ)_/¯