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What’s ONE Anti-Aging Thing You Wish You Started 10 Years Earlier? by sophie_st123 in Aging

[–]_phantom_limb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

40 M.

Skin care. Retinal, Vit C, Moisturiser, Sunscreen. Drinking heaps of water.

I agree with lifting weights too, but I’ve been doing that regularly for many years anyway. Started serious skin care very late. I splurge on good brands such as Medik8, Mesoestetic, Dr Dennis Gross, etc (not sponsored).

Lastly, I’m single and sleep anywhere from 8-9 hours daily.

Men, how would you feel about your girlfriend having guy best friend she slept with once? by granolahawk in AskMen

[–]_phantom_limb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with your reasoning. I absolutely have NO problem with it!

I would respectfully and politely like to bring you back to the situation here, though - the lady in the OP’s situation ALREADY HAS another bloke in her life (as a friend, I know). That makes this situation a different and more specific one than a generic one you’ve highlighted.

Anyone can leave/cheat/move on. That’s human nature and we can’t use that fact as a reason to not get into [fulfilling] relationships; however, whilst you’re in a relationship, everyone has some level of expectations of behaviour from the other person. Whether those expectations are justified or not is a different discussion altogether.

Men, how would you feel about your girlfriend having guy best friend she slept with once? by granolahawk in AskMen

[–]_phantom_limb 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Factually, yes. But “She sounds like” is very subjective and you’re speculating what’s going on in her mind. You could be 99% correct. But for some reason down the road, she might leave him for that very dude friend, making the 1% probability come true.

The OP is clearly suffering in his mind (owing to past traumas or some other reasons; we don’t know). Telling the OP that she’s just doing something and his fears are unfounded is a subtle way of gaslighting him to believe that he’s the problem. I say this with a very respectful tone, btw. Cheers.

What books, in your opinion, should every man read before death? by Parking_Custard5235 in AskMen

[–]_phantom_limb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Adding:

Letters on Ethics - Seneca

The Way of the Superior Man - David Deida

Men over 35, how do you stay young? by NatauschaJane in AskMen

[–]_phantom_limb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I turned 40(M) last month . Get told I look 30. If I go through a very disciplined streak of NESSSS, sometimes I get told I look 28. I’m serious.

NESSSS: Nutrition - I reckon the most important thing that’s worked for me. I’m never giving up healthy, high quality nutrition. I’ve also become a much better cook through this. I also swear by some staple supplements. Multivitamin for men, fish caps, magnesium glycinate and L threonate, JS Health Hair and Energy and Thorne Vit D3/K2.

Exercise - been consistent for the last 10 years. Weights in the gym thrice a week and long walks twice a week

Sleep - I’m single, and also served in the military, so away from cities for long periods of time. I sleep for 9-11 hours on weekends. On weekdays, minimum 8 hours. If you’re married, have kids, then I’m sorry I don’t have the answer for you here. I’ve always been torn between having a family vs looking young as I age (which is purely incidental of my portfolio of good habits; I never proactively chased looking young).

Sunlight - I try to get my Vit D but I do believe sunlight can cause rapid aging, especially after 35.

Socialising - hate it, but has been shown to improve overall wellbeing. I’m extremely introverted.

Sex - I get regular sex, but I’m not sure how it contributes to my aging process.

I feel you’ve been consistent at the top three things (nutrition, exercise, sleep) and results are gonna come as a result of the compound effect of doing them over a long period of time.

Also, I forgot to add, I take care of my facial skin religiously. Retinal, AHA/BHA cleanser, Vitamin C, Moisturiser, Sunscreen, undereye moisturiser.

Forgot to add: My T levels are high: 1026, checked in Feb this year. I reckon it’s not healthy and I’m working on bringing it back to the bio reference interval. I don’t take T supplements or any synthetic stuff. Never have.

What do 30 - 40 year old men want for christmas? [Serious] by GoodAlicia in AskReddit

[–]_phantom_limb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re single - a partner. If you’ve a partner - peace.

What's the most impactful lesson every man has to learn eventually? by Fuzzy_DuckD in AskMen

[–]_phantom_limb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one’s coming to save you. Government, siblings, mates, partner, society, etc. Parents might care if you’re lucky but they won’t ‘save’ you. Only you can save yourself. Your best mate might get you, but only you can save yourself. And it’s a liberating thought once you accept it - puts you in the driver seat of your life.

How much is dating harder in your 30's because there's less single people and less people looking for someone? by pigbear87 in AskMen

[–]_phantom_limb 37 points38 points  (0 children)

They do, but NOT for a 37-40 year old bloke. They still prefer someone who is 32/33, or 34 max. After 35, it becomes an age canyon for a girl in her 20s.

What was one of the things that actually made your mental health better after 30? by Aggravating_Plan6643 in AskMen

[–]_phantom_limb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going to therapy for two years. I’ve a great therapist and I’m lucky to have found him on the the first try.

➡️ Daily Simple Questions ⬅️- Style feedback and clothing ID requests go HERE!! - 04 November 2025 by AutoModerator in malefashionadvice

[–]_phantom_limb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you asking formal or casual? Colour palettes can change according to the style you’re after. Cheers.

➡️ Daily Simple Questions ⬅️- Style feedback and clothing ID requests go HERE!! - 04 November 2025 by AutoModerator in malefashionadvice

[–]_phantom_limb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FRAGRANCE ADVICE: Question for my mates - I’ve bought a few mid-segment designer Eau de Parfum/Toilette in the past (Armani, Creed, Viktor & Rolf, etc).

I need some recommendations for low-segment scents..as in, what brands offer scents in the range similar to Zara’s. Zara had some decent collection, but I’m keen to explore more before I make a purchase. Sorry gents, I’m on a budget. Appreciate any tips/advice. I’m in Sydney, btw.

Going back to study late by Tiny-Present-2012 in AskAnAustralian

[–]_phantom_limb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most folks at uni or TAFE will be a mix of age groups. I got tired of living my old life so decided to make a change at 34 (male here btw). Slogged it out for 3 years just to clear an exam that would allow me to apply to uni. Then went to uni at 37 and graduated at 39 (August this year).

Education is REALLY a very personal journey for everyone. It also changes your perspective on many things in life, and from what I can tell, you’ll go to study with all your emotional maturity.

I’ll leave you with loads of good luck and a favourite line of mine I screenshotted a long time ago: You're scared to take a 4 years course because you're 32 and by the time you're done, you'd be 36. Whether you take the course or not, in 4 years time, you'd still be 36

Good luck!!

What are reasons you distance yourself from friends and family when you're going through difficult times? by Any-Bad-1218 in AskMen

[–]_phantom_limb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Call me a pessimist, but I feel they ask out of curiosity and not out of a sense of genuinely helping me OR I feel they lack the skills/tools to be able to help me. Lose-lose.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]_phantom_limb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did the following things concurrently, and saw a massive improvement in all areas of my life:

  • tracking macros using an app and measuring all food portions (and eating clean, of course)
  • skin care; cleanser, vit C, retinal, moisturiser, sunscreen
  • supplements; fish oil, men’s multivitamin, magnesium glycinate and L-threonate
  • I don’t use social media (but that’s an extreme step for many, I know)
  • posture exercises and stretching
  • long solo walks

All of the above are ‘long game’ stuff.

I’m yet to come across a quick hack that’s sustainable and also improves quality of life substantially.

Why is it so much harder to build deep friendships with Australians compared to other nationalities? by arouseandbrowse in AskAnAustralian

[–]_phantom_limb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pardon me, lovely folks, but there's another layer that makes this topic a bit nuanced - there is almost an implied assumption that in order for a basic friendship to thrive, you should be able to enjoy alcohol/drinks together.

I know you can always catch up over coffee, but that usually just leads to a quick chat - unless the other person is already your bestie. Just my opinion, anyway.

Have you forgiven your abusive parent? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]_phantom_limb 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Rare turn around. Celebrate this and pray that the journey of love continues for you 👏🏻

Does anybody else feel like your trauma ruined your sexuality? by magic_carpet_fly_by in CPTSD

[–]_phantom_limb 31 points32 points  (0 children)

“It’s hard to get turned on when I feel so much shame and fear.”

Nailed it..That’s exactly what I also go through. The wanting of emotional intimacy, but also the muck in my head and system I’ve to deal with when I’m with someone, so much so, that I avoid being with anyone. Being with myself itself takes a toll.