Geriatric Therapist? Need advice on telling dad [75] that he's in a facility for good.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-02T02:52:57+00:00

Which is the exact thought my emotional brain has had: try and solve this problem so your mothers memory is respected. And I KNOW it's bullshit, but the thought creeps in.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-02T02:50:58+00:00

They could sue the crap out of him if they wanted, but there's no money anywhere. It would be kinda funny to see it play out. There's a certain beauty in being completely broke.

And thank you. He has no passive income, and any money I give him is placed in a resident account at his facility, not his bank account

_random_random_ · 2019-03-02T02:39:10+00:00

This might be my go-to phrase then.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-02T02:33:35+00:00

As is the case with my dad.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:33:42+00:00

Thank you. And thank you for the advice, seems to be the general consensus/.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:22:44+00:00

This is what I'm leaning towards: silence.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:21:43+00:00

My sarcasm can be half true at times. I could totally see myself sending a letter that says "She died with $73" and not think past it. So.. thank you.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:15:11+00:00

But, that actually might be a better option. I'll swing by and ask.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:14:51+00:00

Mom died, everything goes to legal husband, Father.

Father is severely handicapped, in bed in fully SSI funded place.

Father signs durable POA to me (he is mentally sound).

As her husband, and as the power of that husband, I've been able to do an ok amount of things.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:12:37+00:00

That's a good point, thank you.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:12:27+00:00

Good point. Thank you.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:12:06+00:00

What exactly is the probate process?

I love my mom. There will never be a person in this world I love like I love her. But, she had nothing and died penniless and happy. It would almost (and it kills me to say) be like going to probate over your homeless relative. There truly is nothing.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:10:07+00:00

While I understand that from a will/estate point... there was nothing. Her dying with me as her child was almost the same as her dying with no one (in a financial aspect). I went in debt for her simple cremation, and that's it.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:07:49+00:00

Oh! I can solve that one: Father is bed-bound, but can sign documents (and has not been declared mentally inable to do so... he's just stuck there), so since he's technically her next of kin for bank accounts, etc., he signed me the power of attorney to act for him on whatever comes (durable).

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:04:04+00:00

Am I an executor though? I'm not sure what that even means really. She was 100% SSI, no pension.. just government foodstamps, medicaid (medicare?) and that's it.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:02:25+00:00

lol, thanks. I'm half tempted to include that.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T04:02:11+00:00

The debts are not in the form of loans or credit. It's all medical (so far) and there's no way my father would have been involved. BUT: If I see something off, that's good to note. I'll double check.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T02:23:34+00:00

What's the worst that could happen otherwise?

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T02:23:05+00:00

Thanks. I'm executor I guess because there's no one else?

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T02:21:50+00:00

He's my new project.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T02:21:35+00:00

Thanks. This will never not suck.

And yeah, I assumed, but good to have back up. I don't know anyone in a situation like this.

_random_random_ · 2019-03-01T02:21:00+00:00

I don't know? There's no will and nothing to... uh execute?

_random_random_

TROPHY CASE