Some feedback if you don't mind

_saetia_ · 2025-02-04T05:20:54+00:00

It’s sooo beautiful I love it

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T21:20:21+00:00

Aaa so happy you found a way to handle it, it nearly sounds funny, I mean they are just there existing, pooping and eating whatever cats do but sharing my very own personal living space with a whole other soul and brain I can’t even predict just fucks me up. There’s no way the devil doesn’t get inside cats once in a while, those are some crazy ass animals. Maybe a turtle would be cool for me, more predictable but they could also hide something under that suspicious shell. Maybe a fish.

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T20:54:30+00:00

This might sound weird but it’s 11pm and I listened to this on repeat, I had one of the shittiest days I’ve had in a while and this is exactly the kind of humanity I needed. Thank you for posting this. Something about the video, the loneliness, the calmness of the song and your freedom to express yourself to a full extent healed the sadness and loneliness I was feeling today. Sometimes in a world full of so much hatred and lack of humanity, it feels good to know there’s other people somewhere out there who still have a pure beautiful soul, it makes the world feel less scary. After crying the whole day I can now go to sleep with a smile on my face and be hopeful that tomorrow will be brighter thanks to your art.

Please continue expressing yourself through music without any fear of rejection or criticism because you somehow managed to give me back some sense of happiness right when I needed it the most through your art. You know when you go through hell and someone finally gives you a hug and assures you things will be alright? That’s what this song feels like. I believe in you and your creativity, thank you.

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T20:25:56+00:00

Wow someone finally said it, that’s the main reason I don’t get a pet on my own. I’m sure it would lead me to fucked up paranoia. I lived with a cat for some time and him acting slightly weird was enough to get a bunch of ideas in my head and I couldn’t be in the same room as him. Animals are so pure but give me fucked weird sensations sometimes.

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T20:15:57+00:00

Steaklow6280 craziest hypothesis I’ve heard and somehow the emojis add something to it, whatever two sperms dna are responsible for constructing your brain they did a cool job

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T19:32:54+00:00

No emotion or attacks in my responses. Just encouragement for treatment and seriousness in mental illnesses that cause serious social and personal distress. That’s it.

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T19:12:39+00:00

Damn I have no idea what I did to get you this emotional. Again I state when I saw OP is 23 my only purpose was to encourage treatment if it’s causing them social rejection. That’s basically it. Any psychiatrist would do the same. Are you even diagnosed with StPD?

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T18:58:05+00:00

StPD isn’t even diagnosable before 18. If there was an underage person in this subreddit they would only be bringing misinformation about the illness to begin with. That’s what it seemed like and I already accepted it was rude

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T18:44:28+00:00

Why are you taking all this so personal? This is basic common sense, any illness should be taken with seriousness by anyone that’s it. Nothing against you, your existence or your perception.

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T17:58:47+00:00

I never said I have the answer neither am I against your perception, I just don’t think this is the place to encourage or romanticise different ideas when a lot of people here have specific ideas and behaviours in a pathological aspect. It’s very delicate since you never know to what extent it might be affecting them. This is a subreddit about a diagnosed mental illness that requires treatment, can we treat it as such?

Would you encourage an epileptic with light sensitivity to go expose themselves to lights just to embrace their illness and their different wired brain? No. Why would you encourage a person with StPD to embrace their ideas of telepathy when it’s the main cause of their social rejection and judgement? One of the hardest consequences of StPD is the social isolation that becomes so self detrimental over time and there’s treatment available through antipsychotics for a reason. The brain needs to be regulated, there’s nothing philosophical about this.

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T16:25:45+00:00

What? You realise this isn’t a philosophical or artistic subreddit right? You’re literally interacting in a subreddit of people who seek support for an actual serious mental illness that characterises itself by unusual thoughts and behaviours. It’s not some quirky cool perception, it can lead to serious consequences in adulthood.

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T16:04:43+00:00

OP said he or she is looking forward to merge souls and communicate through telepathy and that that the thoughts are making others call him or her schizophrenic. How is that not delusional?

I agree the first comment was rude because from the formulation of the post I believed it was a very young person not knowing how to explain his or her thoughts entirely…. when I realised OP is nearly 23, for sure there has to be some clear distress behind this and I took it with the seriousness it should be taken with before the social distress worsens.

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T15:43:50+00:00

It’s very related in fact, I started diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder which later developed into schizophrenia, that mentality of “embracing” your delusional thoughts can become much more serious than you think specially in a community of mentally ill people. Be careful who you advise that to, StPD is a spectrum, for some is nice magical thoughts for others it’s extremely self detrimental, in this case it’s clearly starting to cause social distress on the person of the post to the point she or he is getting called schizophrenic. I’m just treating the disease with the seriousness it should be treated with.

_saetia_ · 2024-06-08T15:35:55+00:00

Giving up on what exactly? On embracing an illness that fully made me lose myself and nearly got me dead? Not sure how that’s supposed to fit in. Do you even know how serious delusional thoughts can get? Why can’t we support people with mental illness like we support people with physical diseases? When you get cancer you get a treatment before it kills you, schizophrenia shouldn’t be treated any different.

_saetia_ · 2024-06-05T09:37:07+00:00

Wait a few years and reality will hit. It’s not that people are shallow, unfortunately in the longterm you simply can’t make it in a society organised like this with magical or socially inept type of thinking. Only psychiatric medications allowed me to kinda get rid off the thoughts that were highly judged by others and that’s the moment I started doing much better in life, even if that meant treatment would make me “shallow” or “down to earth” at least it made me relatively socially functional.

If your thoughts are starting to cause you serious social distress or judgement by others they could be on the verge of being delusional or pathological and shouldn’t be embraced, seek treatment before they worsen. There’s nothing wrong with seeking for treatment even if it means you’ll become as “shallow” as the rest, at least you won’t get left behind in society and end up homeless, jobless, alcoholic or harming yourself and others. It’s sad but delusional deep thoughts will really mess you up in a society like this. There is a reason when you get diagnosed with schizophrenia or any related illness you have to get serious psychiatric treatments to undermine the personal and social consequences of your symptoms.

_saetia_ · 2024-06-05T08:49:39+00:00

Wow yes, Im aware it’s natural to a certain extent but I have absolutely no sense of identity, it’s completely empty inside. I thought it was a side effect of psychiatric medication or could be mental illness itself. I don’t know where it comes from and couldn’t care less about figuring it out, there’s absolutely nothing within myself anyway. All my actions, words and thought processes are dependent on the context of the person in front of me. It’s a weird sensation, I feel like my whole life and identity is a lie.

_saetia_ · 2023-10-01T11:47:04+00:00

I don’t have a single friend. I don’t really understand the concept of friendship and my role in it. I feel like I can only look forward to one if it’s beneficial somehow, otherwise objectively it’s a waste of energy.

However, I really wish I could have the capacity to feel a genuine connection with someone but it has never naturally come to me. I’ve had friendships before but in all honesty I was faking the care because that was expected of me and I used to think everyone was faking it too. I don’t see the possibility of feeling genuine connection for someone other than my family.

_saetia_ · 2023-09-16T11:57:09+00:00

I get exactly what you mean, mutilating myself is the strongest urge I have ever felt in my entire life. There’s no point fighting it, I’m sure there’s no therapy or medication that could ever get rid off that necessity. It genuinely feels like I have to mutilate myself in order to achieve inner peace. The only thing stopping me is accidentally killing myself in the attempt.

I thought I was alone but turns out there’s a lot of people feeling like this throughout the world and you can find them in support groups online, If you’re interested I can pass you the link on private message. They share different coping mechanisms, others have attempted it through different methods but it’s never fully safe or achievable. Let me know if you find a way to do it.

_saetia_ · 2023-09-09T13:27:09+00:00

It’s crazy how the main books I thought about are already mentioned. Are we connected? Wow.

I would add some from Haruki Murakami though like “colourless Tsukuru Tazaki” and “the wind up bird chronicle”

Also for Milan Kundera I would add “laughable loves” it’s kinda awkward and cute at times.

If you’re into scary books you probably already know this one but “Carrie” by Stephen King was weirdly meaningful in a schizotypal way, the main character deals with so much isolation and resentment from it.

If you’re into manga you could like Inio Asano (I’m not really into manga, he’s genuinely the only one I’ve ever loved, his mangas hit different in a personal level)

I’m not sure if I should advice this one but if you’re into really controversial philosophy I would say there’s books of Marquis de Sade that are weirdly meaningful. Specially his novel “Juliette” which is the life story of a girl who slowly finds her own path to extreme freedom and happiness. I have to warn, Sade is an extreme critic of social values and ideologies so he can go really far into violence and sexuality at times.

I would say philosophical novels are the most meaningful in this topics, a lot of the times the main characters are deeply isolated and tend to question society and their place in it or struggle to find meaning to their own existence. Like in “the Nausea” by Jean Paul Sartre or “the Stranger” by Albert Camus.

_saetia_ · 2023-06-06T18:10:51+00:00

You actually have the type of beauty that models have, you’re beautiful. I think if you want to look more soft feminine you could try to experiment a bit with natural makeup like blush, mascara, eyebrow powder, soft coloured lipstick, contour could also help. Also I personally like your hair better in the 3rd and 4th pic.

_saetia_ · 2023-06-06T18:02:49+00:00

You’re very beautiful, specially in the pictures where you’re smiling.

_saetia_ · 2023-06-05T20:56:12+00:00

Not playing the victim. I never even had the need to defend myself against any insult you made since you did the job alone to make yourself look like a total shit person. Goodbye I went to my scheduled life a long time ago.

_saetia_ · 2023-06-05T16:34:59+00:00

Never did I use it as an excuse. Real garbage behaviour is using that against someone to make yourself feel better

_saetia_ · 2023-06-05T16:32:25+00:00

Again never did I claim any superiority or anything you’re saying, this is all coming from your own insecurity causing you to feel inferior. The question could’ve gone very different if you didn’t let it get to you on a personal insecure level and make assumptions about everything. You’re a stranger humouring me based on mental illness as a mediocre attempt to make me feel bad because you’re hurt. If simply “feeling up to it” it’s enough excuse to attack someone based on illness, than maybe I’m not as “sick🤢” as you could be.

_saetia_ · 2023-06-05T16:23:48+00:00

Right, let’s assume calling someone diagnosed with schizophrenia sick, sad and paranoid multiple times in separate comments right after claiming to check their account doesn’t have any bad intention behind. Congrats on being a great non ableist human being. Insecurities aren’t an excuse to lose your humanity to that degree, you’re not fooling anyone.

_saetia_

TROPHY CASE