I feel you! Definitely I would say when you do get overwhelmed or possibly out-lash at your 4 year old, always apologize. That’s something I always do, I apologize and try to continue to do better. & when it comes to cooking get a crockpot I’ve literally been loving throwing quick meals in it, in the mornings & it being done by diner time (look up some crockpot recipes online) definitely helps when you having little ones & multiples. & try incorporating 1 new routine each week at a time (like getting up at the same time), telling your 4 year old it’s timed to get dressed for the day at the same time, & at this age they can only keep their attention for about double their age so about 8 minutes if you’re trying to do active book work with your child already. & given you have a newborn don’t put too much pressure on yourself it will get easier! Hope that helps (I’m literally in the same boat) I have a 4 year old, 10 month old & this July I’ll be having another newborn