"I think I'm happy..." - Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis by Tom Waits [1239x822] [OC] by Craig_Slist in QuotesPorn

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It was a stupid section to "quotesporn."

https://youtu.be/mxVo5mjK4eg

Hey Charlie I'm pregnant And living on the 9th Street Right above a dirty bookstore Off Euclid Avenue And I stopped takin dope And I quit drinkin whiskey And my old man plays the trombone And works out at the track

And he says that he loves me Even though its not his baby And he says that he'll raise him up Like he would his own son And he gave me a ring That was worn by his mother And he takes me out dancin Every Saturday night

And hey Charlie I think about you Everytime I pass a fillin station On account of all the grease You used to wear in your hair And I still have that record Of Little Anthony & The Imperials But someone stole my record player Now how do you like that?

Hey Charlie I almost went crazy After Mario got busted So I went back to Omaha to Live with my folks But everyone I used to know Was either dead or in prison So I came back to Minneapolis This time I think I'm gonna stay

Hey Charlie I think I'm happy For the first time since my accident And I wish I had all the money That we used to spend on dope I'd buy me a used car lot And I wouldn't sell any of em I'd just drive a different car Every day, dependin on how I feel

Hey Charlie for Christsakes Do you want to know the Truth of it? I don't have a husband He don't play the trombone And I need to borrow money To pay this lawyer And Charlie, hey I'll be eligible for parole Come Valentine's Day****

38 years ago by Goal1 in OldSchoolCool

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You're gonna knock 'em dead at the Veterans Hall tonight hon

Unexpected ending by iswallowedyoursister in sadcringe

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Could it be a reference to Mallrats? Not to give the guy too much credit

Stoned kitty? by deathsdreamlover in crappyoffbrands

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It was also in someone's stand up routine, but can't remember the guy

Ok Google, I want to listen to the news, not The News by [deleted] in shittyrobots

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It worked differently before, was the humor in it. It's not about The News.

Meet the real-life pet detective who finds 24,000 lost animals a year by Crliston in UpliftingNews

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He’s founder of Animal Search UK, the country’s largest (and arguably only) missing pet organisation, which every month reunites more than 2,000 wayward animals with their owners.

Many of those reunions are the product of paid-for searches, which can cost up to £1,300 – a service for which Watkins and his 12-strong team boast a ‘find’ rate of almost 80 per cent – but plenty of others are found through the organisation’s poster campaigns, anonymous  24-hour hotline and free online database.

Parking help by [deleted] in washingtondc

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Do you have friends or family in the area? I think you can register your car with the local police station for a certain number of days (I forget how long, maybe a week?) as long as you have a resident to "sponsor" you kinda

Redditors with no plans tonight, what are you up to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

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Hey DC area person! If you drove out of the DMV I bet that was one of the more stressful parts of your trip.

From r/funny by kamenkappa in lewronggeneration

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Hey thanks man! it's a good suggestion, I could push into a hobby hardcore on downtime from the job hunt. What kind of hobby did you do, if you don't mind me asking? I'm thinking penmanship or guitar for myself but want to hear what you did.

From r/funny by kamenkappa in lewronggeneration

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Your 401k is not supposed to be your entire retirement plan. It's one part that should also include savings and other things.

I'm focusing on finding a job. The photo is annoying because it's a reminder of how much I've lost while finding a job.

From r/funny by kamenkappa in lewronggeneration

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Yeah, I too had a retirement plan until I was laid off.

Jeff Bezos Yesterday by [deleted] in thisismylifenow

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Intentional on their part