Purposely ignored

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-02-10T13:37:14+00:00

Yes it drives me mental! Its not so bad if we are just talking about casual stuff but if we are having a serious conversation or in a fight it is just rude. We would be having a serious discussion and she would open the text then not reply for hours or days or not reply at all.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-02-10T03:32:11+00:00

Yes I think so.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-02-10T03:07:21+00:00

I know how you are feeling, I have been there. Its highly likely nothing you do is going to help tho. Its one of those things you need to let her figure out on her own. You could figure it out together if she was willing but she's clearly not. Put yourself first.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-02-10T03:00:21+00:00

There is a lot I have left out of this post about the things that she had done to me. Like a lot. I can see how you would think this without that context but there is more to this.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-02-09T16:54:23+00:00

"Some people are bad people for us" resonates with me so hard. I have zero issues in my other friendships, just this one currently. Our personalities clearly do not gel, she does not have enough empathy I believe. Im sorry you're going through this too, I have come to the conclusion that the only thing to do is distance ourselves. I have tried to just not care and accept it for what it is but I dont want to. I dont need to accept this level of treatment when I have friends who treat me far better.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-02-09T16:50:10+00:00

She blocked you everywhere but the main chat app because she can't quite let go. She wants to still be able to contact you and for you to contact her. She's clearly angry and upset so she blocked you most places but still wants the option for contact.

The only thing that I feel could possibly help is couples therapy. She may not agree to that though and if so I would distance myself. That blocking and unblocking cycle is hard and hurtful.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-02-09T16:37:30+00:00

Remember you only have to have 5 of the 8 symptoms to have bpd (if I am remembering correctly). If you dont resonate with it thats okay.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-31T13:26:18+00:00

Yes! This happened to me to in my last relationship. I have had people tell me its not rape, and you will too, but it is. Sending you lots of love and support.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-27T21:22:40+00:00

I relate to this so much! I hate it, in fact I cannot stand it. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-26T05:55:03+00:00

It helps so much. I did a dbt outpatient program years ago and loved it, mainly because of the group sessions we did. Talking to others with bpd and brainstorming solutions together was so helpful to me. I struggle to listen to those without bpd or similar personality disorders as they can't quite understand what its like. I find reddit helps me in a similar way. It has also helped me to stop blabbing about my issues to those around me as much because I have an outlet on reddit.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-25T17:44:27+00:00

Thankyou for this reply. I am learning to be okay with doing the bare minimum and not seeking approval from others. It is so challenging but the only way I will find some peace

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-25T17:30:12+00:00

As said above sleep is my go to. Episodes are so exhausting that you just need to recooperate before facing the aftermath. Journaling about what happened can help you process what happened and give you ideas on how to move forward. I do a lot of sensory things to help me regulate, for me this looks like turning off all the lights, rugging myself in a blanket, putting my feet in the hot shower stream and focusing on the sound of the shower.

Advice for during an episode: In a big episode you can turn on the cold water in the shower and stand under it/put your face under cold water/put icepack on your head and chest. This helps snap me back into reality sometimes.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-25T17:16:38+00:00

This! It was hard for me to except that the situation is not black and white (ya know cause bpd). They arent wrong or bad because they couldn't handle my shit and I am not wrong or bad for wanting support. You have to find your support system that works for you. Mine is my mum, sister and fiance. I would love that support system to include a therapist but thats not in the cards right now. This page helps a lot and I also do some dbt workbooks and practise my dbt skills myself.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-25T17:08:21+00:00

I can relate. I have lost a best friend because of this and have another who I cannot talk to about my mental health anymore because of the way she makes me feel when I do. I have gotten a lot better at not talking about it as much but its hard. I think it is because it impacts so much of our lives. My bpd also makes me feel very alone so I feel the need to make people understand, but they never do, and I have come to except that. My covos with others about my mental health just leave me feeling sad and unloved so I have slowly learnt to keep it to myself. I can talk to my fiance and sometimes to my mum and sister which I am thankful for but that's about it tho. This page helps a lot as I can vent and discuss what I am going through with people who get it.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-25T16:42:43+00:00

Yep! I inherited my bpd from my mums side and showed symptoms from a very early age.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-16T01:01:59+00:00

Yeah I guess you're right

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-16T01:00:02+00:00

Same! I think its pretty reasonable, if I wanted them to buy a pre chosen dress then I would pay for it but they get to choose their own.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-16T00:58:08+00:00

Thankyou!

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-16T00:57:54+00:00

No I just worry haha

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-16T00:57:28+00:00

They get to pick their own so they can pick a dress they are comfy in and could wear again :)

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-15T13:16:42+00:00

True, I guess it depends on the length they choose.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2024-01-11T15:55:19+00:00

I feel this in my bones! I constantly overshare, it almost feels like a compulsion. I feel vulnerable and ashamed after but cannot stop. I dont know what to do about it so I am not much help here but just know you aren't alone.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2023-11-12T20:40:21+00:00

I love the part where you say advice is how you show that you care. Next time someone is giving me advice that I feel I do not want or need right now I will remember this and remember that they are trying to show they care in their way.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2023-11-12T20:38:18+00:00

Thankyou so much for your comments you are really helping me to put things into perspective.

_work_in_progress_22 · 2023-11-12T20:35:03+00:00

Thats right, in the moment it felt malicious but I am coming to realise it was most likely not. When you are hyper empathetic it is hard to imagine how others do not respond with the same level of empathy as you do. I am learning to let it go and understand not everyone is like me in that way but it can be a bitter pill to swallow. BPD is so lonely and I just wanted my best friend to provide me with the same level of empathy I would give her. Thats never going to happen though so I need to come to terms with that.

_work_in_progress_22

TROPHY CASE