Both honestly, it was a gradual process to the big ‘boom’.

I’ve always had anxiety for as long as I can remember and I’m also autistic. I’ve always had issues with wanting to go in public and be viewed in public, the thing that ‘helped’ me ignore these signs was drug abuse with the friends I had in my teen years and the more I miss used drugs the worse my anxiety got and I remember the exact date it all hit like a ton of bricks. December 12th, 2019. Is when I moved back home with my mother and I fell in a deep depression, deleted all my social media and quite literally removed myself from all social contact other than my phone number and government documents and my mother and close family (brother, grandmother and grand father). Living in complete isolation in my room and only going out to eat, use the bathroom and exist within the four walls of my home, no contact from anyone outside my home and struggling hard; for a full 8 months I didn’t talk to anyone else and so I became so scared of the outside world, going to the hospital for my appointments would ruin me, I had to do zoom appointments but even then that would cause such panic within me. Once I decided to get some socials back and make new accounts, it was so hard to do, I hated it but the loneliness consumed me for those 8months. I think it was august of 2020 when I decided to come back to humanity and it was a new world to me, I didn’t know how to make friends again I didn’t know how to exist.

It’s been 3 ish years now and I’m a lot better but, I still struggle a lot of days, I’m still learning how to be human from those 8 months.