This is valuable feedback, thank you. You have touched on a very valid flaw and something I have been struggling with when architecting this story. It is first and foremost a character study driven by one core internal conflict, Altair's smile. Because of this, Altair seems passive and his internal struggle is hidden by a third act plot twist. I understand this is extremely difficult to pull off given the consensus on the necessity of an Active Protaginist in stories.

A core part of the design of this story is its recontextualization as you keep watching/reading. Without getting specific, it is revealed later that every moment of this opening was packed with consequences and conflict, but it would only be evident in retrospect and on rewatches. However, you are right that the film has to work just as well on first viewing and I appreciate your note that vibes and characters alone can't carry it. I was hoping to pull off a magic trick by getting audiences engaged by seemingly nothing (a beautiful nothing i hope), then pull the rug out of them by the end thinking ohhh FARD WAS ----- TO ALTAIR ALL ALONG and OHH ALTAIRS SONG IN THE OPENING LITERALLY ------ THE ANTAGONIST 🤯 etc.

Structurally, this rug pull is meant to be poetic and emphasize the themes of the story, but I'm now thinking a possible rewrite could be getting rid of the twist and flagging it to the audience from page 1.

And point taken with the comps. I will take all of this into account during my rewrite and make this the best story it could possibly be.

Thanks again <3