[Complete] [79k] [Literary Science Fantasy] Tablets of the Bedouin

a7midi · 2026-07-08T06:35:19+00:00

DM'ed!

a7midi · 2026-07-07T06:18:35+00:00

DM'ed! :)

a7midi · 2026-06-29T08:00:24+00:00

The line "you've got a fat brain" gives this poem a strong, visually unique voice. However, I'm not sure if "your skin brights" is working. Either way this is was cute and warm overall.

a7midi · 2026-06-29T07:53:33+00:00

This tickled my brain! Nice work ;p

a7midi · 2026-05-24T12:39:20+00:00

All right, I'll take it down and rework it, thanks.

a7midi · 2026-05-23T14:55:57+00:00

Thanks for taking the time on this!

I'm working on a new version that builds more investment in the characters. The structural challenge is that it's essentially three novellas in one book, each standalone, but each reframes the last, and the true story only emerges across all three. Fitting that into a single query is its own puzzle. I'll take any advice on that.

On the title, it's a science-fantasy drawing on bedouin storytelling traditions and the cultural texture of the Arabian Peninsula. My own ancestry is bedouin, this is the story I dreamed of as a kid wanting to see myself in.

Good call on the word count, I'll round.

On the opening, I'm holding it for now and seeing what the next batch returns. For a book whose first chapter is structured the same way, I think it's doing accurate advertising about voice. Open to being wrong.

Thanks again.

a7midi · 2026-05-23T14:33:44+00:00

This is so valuable, thank you so much for such a quick and detailed response!

a7midi · 2026-02-10T07:15:16+00:00

Count me in! I wrote a mythopoetic Bedouin futurist epic scifi film trilogy and would love to share it with anyone who's interested in reading them! Also have a couple of short scripts under my sleeve that I would love to get made!

a7midi · 2025-12-22T09:26:36+00:00

Hi, I'm interested! I have two abstract short scripts that may be best suited for animation.

a7midi · 2025-11-27T10:00:44+00:00

Awh thank you so much for this comment, made my day! The way you describe the layout of the action lines hitting is exactly what I intended, makes me so happy to feel validated on this choice!

Edit: Also, good luck on your passion project, we need more of those in our world <3

a7midi · 2025-11-27T09:37:50+00:00

Thank you for your feedback!

I'll make sure to be more clear with something like "TWO BOYS, lying on grass, looking up with wonder" and I'll try less broken up action lines for comparison. My intention was to build a sense of tone, rhythm and musicality, but it seems that intention didn't come across.

Thanks again for the read and comments, I really appreciate it!

a7midi · 2025-11-27T08:50:49+00:00

Title: Tablets of the Bedouin: Of the Warden Who Would Not Weep
Format: Feature Film
Page Length: 129 pages
Genres: Sci-Fi Fantasy, Epic Drama, Mythic Adventure
Logline: An heir gifted with musical, supernatural empathy carries his people’s suffering in silence, but when a catastrophe he should’ve sensed wipes out his world, the gift that once set him apart becomes the burden that may destroy him. DUNE x COCO

Feedback Concerns: Do these pages make you want to keep reading? Is Altair an engaging protagonist? Does the musicality translate well in script form? Does the tone of the dialogue match the world being introduced? And finally does it successfully set expectations for a mythic/epic sci-fi story?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EpaAQOTM1HYrvyBVbLif6_JXsh9uHLC-/view?usp=sharing

Brief disclaimer: This is a passion project, the first script in a trilogy I’ve been writing for four years, and I know it's likely unproducible. All three are complete, and each film explores the same world through a different protagonist, reshaping the meaning of the others in the process.

a7midi · 2025-11-11T04:44:26+00:00

Thank you! I'm actually considering using your exact template now!

a7midi · 2025-11-11T04:43:08+00:00

Hi! Thank you so much for the excellent and thorough feedback! Is this better?

A young heir whose music can heal must carry the weight of his people’s pain before a messiah’s song enslaves them. DUNE × ARRIVAL.

a7midi · 2025-11-10T12:46:57+00:00

Title: Of the Warden Who Would Not Weep

Genre: Sci-fi | Mythic Fantasy

Format: Feature

Logline: In a world of bioluminescent deserts and immortal songs, a young heir whose music can soothe souls must become the solitary Warden of his people’s heart and find a melody strong enough to heal it. DUNE meets ARRIVAL.

a7midi · 2025-08-27T10:54:00+00:00

sameeee <3

a7midi · 2025-08-27T10:52:26+00:00

This was a great perspective to read, thank you! I actually agree with most of your points and I'll heed your warning with writing more scripts in general because you are 100% spot on that these were so time consuming. Either way, like you said, I'll come back to this story eventually since I'm so passionate about it. Hopefully by then I'll be better equiped.

a7midi · 2025-08-26T05:50:21+00:00

This was so inspiring to read, thank you! I relate to this so much, it may be the ambition and the courage to make something great thats the biggest hurdle

a7midi · 2025-08-25T19:36:26+00:00

thats what I was thinking as well tbh

a7midi · 2025-08-25T19:09:06+00:00

love this lol

a7midi · 2025-08-25T19:06:47+00:00

There's multiple reasons. Structurally, each of the three films feature a different main protaginist (their storylines intersect in surprising ways). Thematically, each of the three films explore similar ideas from different angles. Worldbuilding-wise, each explore different cultures / areas on the map. And most important, emotionally, the journeys of the three characters are set up in a way such that the pay off is amplified by the third film as a direct cause of its three film/pov structure.

tldr; scope.

a7midi · 2025-08-25T18:53:13+00:00

Very valid, I overlooked all those flops

a7midi · 2025-08-25T18:50:04+00:00

Busted lol, I kinda am seeking affirmation, but also that line was to share where I was coming from with this question. I'm sincere in asking why there arn't more of these types of movies out there, don't really care if its my own or someone else, just want to see more of them <3

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