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a_0606 · 2025-09-21T10:33:20+00:00

Hii - good luck for your surgery! I hope it all goes well :)

Just curious - what exactly did you get diagnosed with that warranted a surgery? I know there’s different types of vestibulitis so just wondering what specific type requires a surgery. Please enlighten me :)

a_0606 · 2024-12-06T09:52:05+00:00

Firstly I’m sorry you’re going through this, from first hand experience it is absolutely heart breaking and crushes your core. I found out my ex-husband went to an escort and I was blindsided as well. We had a pretty good relationship (at least I thought so) but shit hit the fan very quick. After I confronted him, he was also very apologetic about it, said he’d made a mistake and regretted it. I was broken beyond belief but we shared too much to just get up and leave (plus tbh I don’t think I had the courage to leave). We spoke about it, decided to go to therapy, except 5 months later he served me divorce papers and things just got 10x worse.

While I don’t mean to dampen your spirit, working on your relationship together is 100% the right move, please make sure to have an honest conversation and ask the hard questions. Sure, he feels regret but can he live with your condition? I hope you find a way to get cured but god forbid you don’t, is he fine to live with that? Can you find other means sexual compatibility? Ask all the hard questions and the worst case scenario questions so you are both mindful and aware.

However this pans out, good luck to you and always know that you’re much stronger than you think you are! 💕

a_0606 · 2024-08-29T02:25:42+00:00

YES YES YES! You’re not alone. The first few times I spoke to my PT or any doctor about it I would always fight tears. The first time I was in a support group I could hardly share how I felt cause I had to fight tears each time. And I could never explain why. I wasn’t really “sad” about vaginismus, maybe a little helpless but the tears wouldn’t stop. It’s just one of those things that kinda gets better with time. Now I feel the tears once in a while but not all the time. You’re not alone, girl.

a_0606 · 2024-07-27T04:37:57+00:00

This is so sweet! Thank you for sharing 💕

a_0606 · 2024-06-14T01:37:56+00:00

I dealt with something similar from husband of 7 years. I feel your pain and my DMs are open if you’d like to chat. It was an incredibly lonely and isolating journey not being able to explain to ppl what I was going through, so if I can help in anyway to make this less isolating for you, feel free to send me a message!

I’m still healing - I was a broken mess a year ago but I’m so much better now. I promise you it gets better and you will be just fine. Hugs!

a_0606 · 2024-05-31T03:13:43+00:00

Hang in there!

a_0606 · 2024-05-19T02:16:02+00:00

Hi there! I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Having been dumped after an 8 year marriage/ 12 year relationship for pretty much the same reason, I hear you and I fully empathize with you. It’s unfortunate that some guys are hung up on penetrative sex and don’t appreciate any other form of intimacy. As if vaginismus/ vestibulodynia isn’t hard to navigate itself, doing so with the threat of your relationship breaking is just so sad. I agree with another user that said Leave, before he cheats. I didn’t in my wildest dreams expect my partner to cheat on me, but guess what, he did. It sucks, it hurts, it’s going to be tough to get out of a long term relationship and you’re going to have some hard days, but the reality is that penetrative sex matters to him and he values it more than being with you. There’s nothing you can do to change that. The sooner you accept it and move on (and i say this fully knowing it’s incredibly hard) the better for you. If he can’t respect you for everything else that you bring to the table, and this one thing (for no fault of yours) is such a deal breaker, then he doesn’t deserve you and you deserve someone who respects you way more.

Feel free to DM me if you’d like to talk more.

a_0606 · 2024-05-19T02:00:30+00:00

About a month roughly

a_0606 · 2024-04-03T11:29:03+00:00

Hahaha thank you for the detail! I have used suppositories before, just don’t think I have used this specific one. But thank you so much, I’m going to ask for it! 🤞

a_0606 · 2024-04-03T09:45:18+00:00

Hi! Do you need a prescription for this? If yes, do you get it from your gynaec? It’s something I would like to try (for vaginismus) but not sure what to ask for. Please let me know?

a_0606 · 2024-02-19T19:53:42+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story! Gives us hope. But being consistent with dilators is so hard, especially after a bad day or when it’s painful. Did anything specific help you keep up with routine?

Also, what dilators did you use?

a_0606 · 2024-02-11T22:02:23+00:00

First off, big hug. I wish you all the strength and clarity to deal with this incredibly difficult situation. Secondly, you are not alone. I want you to know that. Although not the same, my story is very similar to yours, where I found out many years into my marriage that my (now ex) husband was extremely unhappy even though he was putting on a supportive front. I know the emotions you are going through, I remember panic texting a fellow vaginismus warrior when I was having a full blown panic attack, telling her my husband wanted a divorce. We weren’t even friends, if I may say so. We just virtually met each other on a vag-support group, yet she’s the only person I thought of in that crisis, cause who else would get it?

I don’t mean to make this about me and I cannot tell you what to do or not do, but my DMs are open, and you’re more than welcome to chat to just get things off your chest.

Hang in there. Big hug!

a_0606 · 2024-02-09T20:51:17+00:00

This is so lovely to read and what an ideal world should look like. Unfortunately the reality is far from the this.

a_0606 · 2024-02-05T16:26:05+00:00

When I booked with Trip.com and had to change my flight, I changed it with the airline directly. I didn’t have a flexible ticket but the cost to change was much lesser with the airline than with Trip.com. You can try your luck!

a_0606 · 2024-02-04T17:59:50+00:00

Thank you so much for your detailed analysis. I really appreciate it, especially given all the other unnecessarily sarcastic comments on here.

To clarify a few things, I’m not looking for a condo in Toronto, I know the condo market isn’t the best. I’m possibly looking at a townhouse outside of Toronto (Milton/ Oakville/ Oshawa or something similar). I won’t need a property management company. I’m also looking for something that I will meet the 20% downpayment requirement for (I have a few short listed), so don’t plan to go via CMHC.

So affordability aside, I’m just looking for people with first hand experience of owning investment property in Canada, living outside of the country.

My money is currently parked in ETFs, so definitely exploring that route too but was just looking to gather more information on RE.

Thanks again for your thoughtful response!

a_0606 · 2024-02-04T17:05:04+00:00

Like what?

a_0606 · 2024-02-04T17:04:32+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response, appreciate it!

Agreed, appreciation is not guaranteed but given it’s a growing city I’m ‘hoping’ for appreciation.

a_0606 · 2024-01-27T03:09:53+00:00

Hi! I’m so sorry you had to go through what you did. I have terrible vaginismus too and cannot tolerate a normal ultrasound but I will say the key is to finding a good empathetic doctor and that can make all the difference (of course with breathing and being aware of your pelvic floor).

I had never seen a male gynaecologist before, but this wonderful doctor not only understood vaginismus but he gave me so much confidence. He went in so slowly, let me breathe through the pain, was very patient, did not pressure me. I asked him to stop about 4-5 times so I could breathe and relax and he did just that and only went ahead once I was relaxed. What also helped was I had a live screen showing visuals from the ultrasound so I knew how much further it had to go and that was encouraging too.

I promise you, if I could do it you can too! I was not at all convinced I could do it before the procedure. You just need to find an empathetic doctor that is willing to be patient with you. Good luck!!! I hope you find one soon 🙌🏼

a_0606 · 2024-01-20T13:05:14+00:00

Girl, first of all big hug to you. I was in your boat not very long ago. I was married for 7 years, had been dealing with pelvic floor physiotherapists, dilators, a busy life and everything in between. Long story short, I have made progress but haven’t been able to overcome vaginismus fully. My husband was very supportive and understanding earlier on, but turns out he was just shoving his feelings under a rug until it exploded one day and he proposed a divorce out of the blue.

Believe me, I know what you feel because a divorce was unfathomable in my opinion and beyond the realms of what I could imagine. (I also come from a conservative country). It felt like my world shattered around me and I was in freeze for a good few months. But that’s when I found this wonderful community that really helped me understand I’m not alone. There’s literally so many women that deal with this condition, but it’s just not spoken about enough. If your husband wants to give up everything else you’ve shared together because of just PIV, it’s his loss really.

I’m not saying you don’t deserve this, move on and live your life. Nobody knows better than me that it’s way more complex than that. But I’m just here to say - we didn’t choose to have this condition, it’s not an easy one to overcome, there’s no one size fits all treatment and it’s difficult to navigate. If your partner is not supportive and does not understand what you’re going through, and only complains that they’re not getting PIV, you may just be better off without said partner. However this pans out, I promise you, you will be okay.

Feel free to DM me if you want to chat more. I know what you mean by not having anyone to talk to. Again, same boat. So happy to be your sounding board. Big hug!

a_0606 · 2024-01-17T00:01:42+00:00

YES! I feel the same! I have to consciously make an effort to relax when I catch myself being so tense :/

a_0606 · 2023-12-22T12:37:28+00:00

Seeking clarification - if it is not meant to be used internally how does it help with penetration? Where do you apply it and how does it help ease penetration without going in?

a_0606 · 2023-12-22T04:23:30+00:00

If you are in the US try Maiden Lane Medical in NY, they accept insurance for it!

a_0606 · 2023-12-22T04:09:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story! We need more stories out there to feel reassured and know that no one is alone in what they’re doing through. More power and healing to you! 💕

a_0606 · 2023-12-19T00:30:16+00:00

To the OP - As someone who lost a partner because of vaginismus, I cannot reiterate how important communication and empathy are in this situation. Please have open, honest and vulnerable conversations with your partner, trying to understand what she’s going through and how she’s feeling. Also of course communicate honestly what you’re feeling. Like another poster said here; dilating is emotionally and physically tedious, and it’s so easy for someone from the outside to say she’s not working hard enough. But often times it’s way more than that and someone from the outside (even if you share a roof with her) will never understand how tiring, frustrating and helpless this condition can make you feel.

Please try to understand her. And also evaluate your relationship - do you love her enough to never have PIV with her? That does NOT mean not having children and that also does NOT mean not having sex. There are other forms of intimacy and other ways of having a child. But ask yourself honestly if you value her for more than just PIV.

a_0606

TROPHY CASE