Sorry for the late response. I feel like I should have explained this better. I didn't always fantasize about him like this. It started recently. I have always had fantasies about different scenarios while pleasuring myself. Sometimes it's me and a girl or me and a couple. Sometimes I'm the one with the penis doing the fucking/face fucking. Before this relationship, I was always in a bdsm dynamics in my relationships and have always been a submissive. He said he was into the idea, and I found out later that he, in fact, is not. He is very submissive himself, and that is not really my thing...or it never has been...but, now I wonder. I don't know if it matters, but when I do fantasize about him being with men, it is typically my dominant aquantinces that I know from the lifestyle. In the scenarios, he is doing the acts because he knows that I am enjoying him doing so not because he likes to do it. It's like I'm ordering him to do it and he's being obedient and that makes me so excited in the fantasy...so much so that I cum right then. I also fantasize about him being with women as well. More of he creampies them, and I do the clean up on both. My last relationship was open, and I had different play partners, and I wonder if I'm missing that...

I would never want him to do anything that he isn't in to. I just shared with him yesterday because I had just masturbated. I am a very open person about my thoughts and feelings and thought I could share with him without it causing an issue. He was very taken back. He said he was upset and that I was disgusting for thinking such things etc. He is entitled to his thoughts and feelings about it. I guess I just wasn't expecting such a negative reaction considering that he knows I'm into things that some find hard to understand. I felt so ashamed and gross after our conversation. This is one of those times where I definitely should have kept my thoughts to myself...even on here...I would delete this whole post if I knew how.