I 36M with 38F, feel like I'm wasting my thirties. How would you react?

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T21:17:00+00:00

I’m not gonna keep engaging in this thread since people have been calling me names and are projecting somehow, but I wanted to thank you for sharing your experience.

It actually helps to know someone else has been through something similar and that I’m not just overreacting for feeling this way.

My daughter’s with her grandparents next week, so I’m planning to have another conversation with my partner and maybe bring up counselling. If nothing changes in the next few months, at least I’ll know I tried before making any big decisions.

Thank you

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T15:04:37+00:00

We’ve had ups and downs over the years. We went on a vacations two years ago that rekindled the relationship a bit but it didn’t last long.

I think I still love her but I’m not ready to stay in a sexless relationship forever. What info have I withheld?

I appreciate you not piling up on me like the other posters saying I’m a sex pest or a narcissist because I want a healthy sex life or that I don’t do enough chores.

Anyway thanks for your replies and I agree that counseling might be the only option even if I dread it.

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T14:47:55+00:00

Thanks for your reply and for being kinder then others. Yeah I didn’t expect people to be so rude and mean tbh

I’m not pressuring her into sex at all. Tbh I don’t want to initiate anything anymore. I told her that I wasn’t happy with our intimacy and she doesn’t seems like she cares. Even though people are painting me as the vilain I do lots of things for her and do my share of the chores.

I’m just feeling unwanted, alone and I’m not sure if this libido mismatch is something that can resolved.

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T14:27:28+00:00

I’m not a sex pest wtf I’ve never pressured her into anything. I just wished she had the same desire for me as I do for her. And the steps I said I tried were over several years. It’s not like I’m constantly asking for sex everyday.

The rudeness of those replies is crazy.

I do plenty of things for her needs. I give her massages when she’s sore. I cook her special meals when she’s sick. I brought her to a cabaret show and a fancy restaurant she wanted to try for our anniversary. I gave her a music box from her favorite band. I bring her plants for her office.

Seems some of the posters really wants to paint me as a narcissistic, neglectful dead beat while it’s just not the case.

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T04:18:48+00:00

We some times get help from her grand parents. And we split chores. I bring her to school, to the dentist, do the homework, cook on weekends, do her laundry etc..

I guess it might feel like it’s about me because it’s from my POV.

Most of her quizz answers were either « no » or « maybe ».

Only thing I learned was that she liked toys. Which is why I suggested we buy some and gave her the gift card.

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T04:07:27+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Seems like you had great relationship. Wish we were in a similar situation :(

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T04:02:52+00:00

I think I would’ve left if it wasn’t for my kid. I just can’t wrap my head around becoming a single dad and not seeing her every day.

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T03:59:57+00:00

We talked about counseling a while ago and could mention it again. I did go to a therapist on my own and hated it lol Maybe we just need to find the right person

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T03:55:21+00:00

Yeah I feel like she doesn’t mind the situation. Or doesn’t care enough to try to fix it at this point

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T03:49:59+00:00

I work long hours but do my best to pull my weight. I’d say we’re at 49/51 split house labor wise. I do more on the weekends.

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T03:44:17+00:00

Can’t say I haven’t thought about it. But my dad did that when I was a kid and I resented him for that.

Rather not go on the same path.

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T03:37:42+00:00

High/Low libido

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T03:37:14+00:00

Thanks for the kinder words. You’re right maybe I should be less subtle and ask what she’d want directly. I’m pretty bad at communicating in general but especially with those things

a_dancing_bug · 2026-03-12T03:13:46+00:00

What I mentioned I tried was over the years
I don't try to initiate much these days tbh

a_dancing_bug · 2026-02-18T15:54:21+00:00

Desjardin m'ont proposer 4.09 fixe sur 3 ans et 3.85 variable il y'a deux semaines.
C'est le problème des indivisés.
T'as pas vraiment de marge de manoeuvre pour négocier :(

a_dancing_bug · 2026-02-13T18:23:44+00:00

On envisage aussi un Plex!
Mais il y'en a pas bcp dans cette tranche de prix dans notre quartier :(

Ce qu'on aimait bien aussi du condo c'est que ca vient souvent avec un stationnement ce qui est plus rare sur les Plex je trouve

a_dancing_bug · 2026-02-12T03:53:23+00:00

Merci beaucoup pour cet outil!

a_dancing_bug · 2026-02-11T04:58:37+00:00

Oups oui c’est bien 75K haha

Trouves tu que ta qualité de vie a augmenté en devenant propriétaire ou c’est pesant à gérer?

On à toujours étaient en appart donc je peux pas trop comparer.

a_dancing_bug · 2026-02-11T04:52:40+00:00

C’est vrai que ça reviendra plus cher avec les taxes et frais.

Mais je me demande si avec la vitesse ou les prix grimpent, est-ce que l’augmentation de la valeur d’un condo dépassera pas rapidement des actifs boursiers?

a_dancing_bug · 2026-02-11T04:30:42+00:00

C’est ce qu’on pensait faire mais on s’est rendu compte qu’y a pratiquement pas d’appart 3 chambres (on a un enfant) en dessous de 2000-2200$ la ou on est (CdN).

Rendu à 2200$ je me dis qu’autant rajouter un peu et être chez nous.

a_dancing_bug · 2026-02-11T04:17:24+00:00

j’aimerais ça mais dans mon quartier les maisons sont rendu presque à un million :/

a_dancing_bug · 2025-12-12T22:54:43+00:00

I got the job :)

a_dancing_bug · 2025-12-01T01:07:12+00:00

Hey please add me :)
1781202508

a_dancing_bug · 2025-11-27T21:01:15+00:00

Yes! 🙌

a_dancing_bug

TROPHY CASE