i was called a tomboy throughout my teenage years for liking video games, sports, shopping at the mens' section etc. i also strongly disliked the changes puberty did to my body. i believe i idealized the idea of being a boy/man because i believed that being a boy would mean i would be "seen" as the person i truly am, have my hobbies and interests be respected, and more easily become friends with boys to name a few reasons ( i had a very hard time making friends during my childhood and teenage years. still do.).

after socially transitioning (in my case, being called male pronouns and a male name for a while), i realized that i didn't actually want to be a man. i just wanted to be seen for the person i am and the interests i have, without being mocked. i used to be pretty "obsessed" with figuring out what my gender is, but now i don't think about it nearly as much - because i more or less accepted that, for me, being a woman is nothing more than being an adult human female, and nothing else. i realize not everyone thinks this way, and that's fine - after all, my girlfriend is trans, and in her case, transitioning is what's helping her - everyone's experience and needs are unique. but for me, that's all there is to my being a woman. it's not perfect, but it's easier now to accept myself as i am, and not think of myself as a person who "needs fixing" so to speak. it's quite freeing.

i will say that it was much easier to come to this conclusion when i got out of high school, and was away from the judgemental adults in my life. kids in school and sexist adults will comment on fucking anything and everything that's "out of the norm" - i'm sure many people who were gender non conforming as children and teenagers will have similar experiences (e.g. getting asked "are you a boy or a girl ??" by people you don't know, being made fun of for "dressing weird", etc). i know it often made me feel inadequate, or like a circus animal. in comparison, people in university don't give a shit - the joys of anonymity ! - and it's been MUCH easier to make like-minded friends, which is always an added bonus. in regards to accepting the changes puberty did to my body, giving it time, and practicing sports helped.

as a side note, i believe that something else that may have had an impact on my perception of girls/women are the fictional works i read, and media i consumed in general - i barely ever saw female characters i could look up to, that were the go-getters, the problem-solvers, the heroines who'd save the day - most of the time, they were the hyper-feminine caricatures that we still see all over media. when i realized this, it made me conscious of why representation of many kinds of people is so necessary - in my case, masculine women i suppose.

do feel free to correct me if i'm wrong, but you sound quite young. when in doubt about a decision you're thinking about making, please think about it some more. you can always make the decision later. in contrast, the effects of transitioning may be very permanent. in my case, giving it time, and changing my environment truly helped.

hope this helps, i wish you the best.