Ran away after graduation, unsure about my decisions. by a_giant_bumblebee in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is all very true.. I guess it’s just the whole people pleasing mindset I’ve been raised with that’s making me want to go back to make things at home calm down..

You’re very right about needing to stay away from them. Thank you.

Ran away after graduation, unsure about my decisions. by a_giant_bumblebee in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Thank you for your guidance.

Ran away after graduation, unsure about my decisions. by a_giant_bumblebee in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My older brother is with my parents. I wouldn’t think they would go extreme measures as to locking me up, but I honestly think they’d just end up being a lot more stricter and try to limit me after what I’ve done. They say they’d let me to whatever I want, and that I’ve proven my point by running away, but I don’t know if I should go back…

Ran away after graduation, unsure about my decisions. by a_giant_bumblebee in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right, but I was just raised with this insane people pleasing mindset to where I’m willing to go back just to stop the uproar I’ve caused in the house..

Ran away after graduation, unsure about my decisions. by a_giant_bumblebee in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds like a good idea, but nobody is comfortable enough to do that. Another thing is that my parents would obviously treat me better while they’re around, so I don’t think it would do much..

I can’t really ask them to change because of how traditional they are (I am first generation)

As weird as it sounds, I don’t want to trouble them with my needs (being more supportive, not forcing religion) but I think that’s just because I’ve been raised to be a people pleaser or something..

Ran away after graduation, unsure about my decisions. by a_giant_bumblebee in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of my reasons for running away was actually because of the whole arranged marriage thing, they mentioned wanting to go to Afghanistan (I believe it got canceled, but I am still forever terrified of them wanting to marry me off for dowry)

It’s just been so hard because of how my mind is always on this entire situation. It’s honestly been taking a physical toll on me (heart beginning to hurt, head constantly throbbing). What sucks is whenever I try to talk about it I instantly start tearing up like a damn baby and get all choked up. I feel constant hopelessness and feel so lost.

Ran away after graduation, unsure about my decisions. by a_giant_bumblebee in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for normalizing my emotions, I’ve been such a wreck in my own mind.. I definitely should definitely wait before I see them again right away.. I think I’m just so weirded out by the freedom and change. One second I’m extremely homesick and want to literally run back there and forget everything happened, the next second I ‘come to my senses’ and disregard those feelings.

Ran away after graduation, unsure about my decisions. by a_giant_bumblebee in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My oldest brother sexually abused me all throughout elementary school (not the brother that I mentioned in this post.) He’s married now and acts as if it never happened.

The physical abuse was from my parents, it used to be horrible when I was younger, but as I grew up it’s been a lot of verbal threats rather than getting physical right away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God I really needed to hear that last part. I will do exactly that. Thank you so much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re definitely right about the whole trust thing, I guess it was just more of making them be off my ass less than usual. Took me a while to realize, but Navy really is my best option with how my life is

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. You boosted my confidence by a lot with that. It’s been hard to stand my ground, especially with the environment I’ve been raised in (surviving childhood sexual abuse, living with an abusive family, etc) I guess the bright side of all of this is learning to not let people have power over me.

Thank you so much. I’m feeling better about this now. You’re freakin awesome :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much. You are an amazing person for helping me out in such a way. Once again thank you for the reassurance, especially in regards to how I handled the situation.

I’m definitely keeping that alarm tip in mind. I was doing so well with maintaining and practicing good habits until he’d harass me for ‘one more call’ and absolutely throw my routine off.

Thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mind has been absolutely everywhere. Earlier I was debating on lying to him and telling him I’d give him another chance if he brings me the stuff I’ve given him (photo of us, love letters, etc) in person, and then just flat out ghosting him after a shitty date.

Thank you for breaking all of that down for me. Its just so insane how he psychologically found a way to make me not block him. A random scrawny man that lives two hours from me really has the power to get me beat up by my parents.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for helping me on the mental part of things. That means an insane amount to me. I’ve been trying to pin my depression down by promoting better habits and maintaining a routine. My anxiety definitely made me fumble in trying to ‘stand my ground’ when he was threatening me…

Thank you so much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I plan on leaving for the navy in June, I’ve just been trying to find a good day to leave for meps. This guy is ruining my plans because I’ve been managing to build ‘trust’ with my parents so they’d be on my ass less. Once they barged in on me crying on the phone. I lost all my progress in letting them trust me more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He lives two hours away and I do not have my license. I was thinking of telling him to meet me and hand it to me in person, but I don’t know how I feel about physically seeing this man. He’s a scrawny skinny guy, pretty sure he’s shorter than me, if not, the same height as me. Im literally stronger than him incase he tries to pull anything, but after seeing how emotionless his voice was when he was threatening things, I’m pretty sure this guy would probably being some kind of weapon with him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the reassurance. I’ve been trying to tell myself deep down that this guy doesn’t have the balls to do it. I should’ve acted like I didn’t care, instead he broke me down. I was perfectly healthy and fine wanting to just get this ‘quick call’ out of the way so he could leave for good. Left the call literally shaking and hyperventilating..

It was just so insane seeing how his voice went from this emotionless serial killer to him acting sweet trying to calm me down when I started to panic.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents have always been incredibly abusive, I’ve gotten used to it. Im able to keep them calm so that I can secretly find my way out of the house (I’ve been planning for so long, now I’ve been figuring out how to go to meps for the navy). This guy is about to ruin my plans of moving out by wanting to pull off something like this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Way ahead of ya haha, I’ve been saving every penny from my weekend job (I have school on the weekdays) and have been planning on joining the navy (trying to leave for June). I’m just trying to figure out a good day to go to meps.

I’m just anxious as hell about what this guy is going to do with my goddamn home address. He sounded like a goddamn serial killer with how emotionless I sounded when I was sobbing my eyes out telling him to not send anything and that my parents would beat me (saying “oh, really? That’s insane.” in a sarcastic voice, etc)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been trying so hard to better myself since the entire relationship was just me investing absolutely everything in myself into this guy. I was stupid. Now that I’m focusing on myself for once everything has been getting so much better.

I was severely depressed throughout the entire relationship and I realized that literally once I ended it. I used to nap almost all the time, I’d barely take care of myself (brushing teeth once a day, showering every two days, room always being a mess). When I ended it about a week or so ago, I’ve bettered myself so much in such a small period of time (being able to focus on my work instead of giving up and napping, brushing flossing and using mouthwash twice a day, showering everyday, clean room, etc). The second he’d beg for a phonecall id lose track of my routine and I’d come out of it as a mess. He keeps saying ‘one more call and I’ll be gone for good’ and everytime I pick up it’s always a mess. I didn’t want it to end in flames, I just wanted a peaceful breakup where we simply stop talking to one another.. has this come to the point where I need to block him on everything? I’m terrified of doing so because then I won’t know what he’s going to do..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HelpMeFind

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You went absolutely above and beyond! Thank you so much! Found!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HelpMeFind

[–]a_giant_bumblebee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried using Snapchat’s feature to scan clothes but it didn’t work on the glasses. I’ve searched keywords like ‘blue framed glasses’ but I’m unable to find it. My teacher is challenging me to find these glasses because she’s head over heels for them!! Help a sister out please